At 31, moving out of my family home saved my mental health

[coyote]

Keep increase population to 6.11 million liao of course low poverty population percentage?

Do u have the figure of poverty/rich just on Sinkie population though?

I don't mind if u don't have the empathy for those who are suffering... u having the time of ur life and that's well for u and hope u are able to maintain that... always... else... orbigoot to u?

Every week or day, edmwers kpkb about high cost of living, then next moment they talk about what bubble tea is nicest, how to get Taylor Swift concert ticket, showcase their Rolexes, double or triple fold phones, their business class to XXX destination, which European or Australian city is good for vacations...

Get realistic... those are not sufferings... Go to Africa, Pakistan to see what is real poverty.

 

[mummynew]

父不教，子之过

I subscribing to this. Years ago I told myself after i turn 65 years old, I will listen to my kids and follow their opinions / instructions in the event that our ideas clash.

I believe my kids are smarter than me in many ways.

 

[Lifeinmotion]

I believe anyone above 21 should been given a subsidised housing.

But I don't believe everything falls under the govt for "your fault". But they definitely failed in propping up the population and over providing subsidies to already benefitted families with kids.

It's 2025 and there are lifestyle choices and reasons why people want to be single for life.

20-25% of the annual marriages numbers end up in divorce or annulment (not from the same year but figure wise) Strawberries are telling me they BTO for the sake of it and not that they really want to get married.

The cycle (marry and divorce) begins. Whether divorce now or later.

It's capitalist. We can clear and sell land for condo , but not built more HDB for singles and divorce or old age. We can keep 100s of back and white houses (and some you cannot even rent or smell as they are only use for official business ) with sprawling land but need to clear Clementi forest next to it.

All singles should start buying their HDB flat from age 21 (if they choose as 1 chance in life) and then allow them to discover how many sex partners and then possible chance of settling down or accidental babies. I rather single parent citizens then coming from elsewhere.

Else they keep that and die in it. Either way they will need to have a house and buying at later age reduces their ability to service and increases liability to the entire society. If they divorce it's not going to be an issue. One of them will have their HDB to their name.

They are not solving birth rate nor the singles (then to old age and divorce) issue. But capitalism and selling more land and COE is more important.

 

[MoeLanYong]

I subscribing to this. Years ago I told myself after i turn 65 years old, I will listen to my kids and follow their opinions / instructions in the event that our ideas clash.

I believe my kids are smarter than me in many ways.

Alamak I typo
Its 養不教，父之過
No wonder looks so weird haha

Er...its incumbent on fathers to teach. Not mothers.

I don't get the connection to listen to kids part tho

 

[focus1974]

ya...
living together if single still ok
but once you are married, please better moved out asap and lived with your wife.

There is no good outcome living with the inlaws or your parents.

marrying and living with someone is already 2 cultures clashing...
daily trying to make compromise on how things are done or habits you arent aware of . etc etc.

then you add on the parents (another 4 person) into the mix ..
the problem is exponential... Live in parents got issue, the parents you go see weekly got issue..


Best to just live outside with your wife and your kids.

So westerner practise of having kids move out once they are independent is wisdom from experience.

 

[krikering]

Why must get bto then can move out?

I moved out to stay on my own at age 36, rented a room outside for $700 a month

Still got $700 per month now?

I looked into it recently, nearby my area around Eunos there the rent are around $800 ++ range.

Renting a room not so easy one, need to be subjected to many restrictions, cannot bring family members/friends back and also utilities usage, etc.

Best is try to rent a room in those apartments, where the landlord is not staying there. As in they rent out the rooms, heard that stay with landlords in the same household can be tricky one.

 

[SGbuibui]

The article writer rent house or buy private property? Don't think it was mentioned

 

[krikering]

Can u think with ur brain not ur ass too?
SG so small and yet they cannot build flat to cope with the demand?

How many sinkies above 35 or families have been balloting for years yet did not get the chance to buy a BTO flat? U don't have friends or u don't even read or get to know other plights via forums and news?

And the main issue is about mental stress... so got away from toxic minded parents like probably urself but then got into financial issue due to paying rental and etc unnecessary instead of paying for a flat that can be called a home and pay for furnishing and furniture etc

That's why some people jumped...? and the parents finds no reason because they always think their children has no issue living with them because they are "obedient" and "thankful"... recently got a article about that particular parent who has no clue why the kid jumped right?


Why not?
There are parents who expect the children to pay for everything and they "lay flat" because they have provided the children with education and a "life"...

There are parents who wants to control their children to become what they want the children to grow up as...

There are parents who will run through their children drawers and throw away stuff they think is rubbish but not their own...

There are parents who diss their children because they did not meet their expectations and etc...

Some people really not suited to have kids, last time societal expectations is that everyone start a family and have kids.

Glad that nowadays more people are actually thinking what they actually want in life, rather than just following societal expectations because of the "that is how it has always been" mindset.

That why i say must work both ways mah. Knn the chewren complain stay with parents mental stress because parents nag at them. They should reflect on themselves why parents nag mah. Themselves buay zi dong. Of course parents nag lar. Already adults, some more 30 plus years old.

Best solution is for the children to go and atay outside ba, those kind of rental arrangement where don't stay in the same household together with the landlords one.

Hopefully with RTS built, the options for us Singles who ineligible for BTOs and cannot afford resale HDB will widen.

I would rather sacrifice more time travelling back-and-forth, then tahan staying in same household with people whom can't get along with.

Thus, need to save up and also look into it to settle the logistical aspects, etc.

 

[krikering]

suat la... looking at how he post, he still thinks he is relevant by being [ alpha ] .
Folks who BTO earlier as couples, also divorced earlier.

the numbers dont lie and neither is the number of reported problems, be it local or foreigners...

its just sad that GDP above all else, and everything aside, produced midwits like them to just comment, in one shot ......

Heard of peers whom are in dead marriages, probably together because of kids or the cumbersome aspects if in event of divorces e.g how to handle the flat be it sell and split or 1 person move out, etc.

In SG, housing is the main cause of trouble for majority of the people. So small and so expensive nevermind, still got so many conditions to fulfill for a tiny pigeonhole. Really not easy sia.

 

[krikering]

Every week or day, edmwers kpkb about high cost of living, then next moment they talk about what bubble tea is nicest, how to get Taylor Swift concert ticket, showcase their Rolexes, double or triple fold phones, their business class to XXX destination, which European or Australian city is good for vacations...

Get realistic... those are not sufferings... Go to Africa, Pakistan to see what is real poverty.

Very good, compare to the worst instead of the best. Convenient to not mention that our ministers are the highest paid in the world.

Very soon, comparing with 3rd world countries will be the norm for us liao.

 

[fandango]

Some people really not suited to have kids, last time societal expectations is that everyone start a family and have kids.

Glad that nowadays more people are actually thinking what they actually want in life, rather than just following societal expectations because of the "that is how it has always been" mindset.

Best solution is for the children to go and atay outside ba, those kind of rental arrangement where don't stay in the same household together with the landlords one.

Hopefully with RTS built, the options for us Singles who ineligible for BTOs and cannot afford resale HDB will widen.

I would rather sacrifice more time travelling back-and-forth, then tahan staying in same household with people whom can't get along with.

Thus, need to save up and also look into it to settle the logistical aspects, etc.

Just rent JB apartments. Don't buy.

 

[krikering]

That why i say must work both ways mah. Knn the chewren complain stay with parents mental stress because parents nag at them. They should reflect on themselves why parents nag mah. Themselves buay zi dong. Of course parents nag lar. Already adults, some more 30 plus years old. So

Just rent JB apartments. Don't buy.

Yes renting for now, if buy also won't be JB. Maybe in future, am thinking of Penang, etc.

 

[Linguist]

Some people really not suited to have kids, last time societal expectations is that everyone start a family and have kids.

Glad that nowadays more people are actually thinking what they actually want in life, rather than just following societal expectations because of the "that is how it has always been" mindset.

Best solution is for the children to go and atay outside ba, those kind of rental arrangement where don't stay in the same household together with the landlords one.

Hopefully with RTS built, the options for us Singles who ineligible for BTOs and cannot afford resale HDB will widen.

I would rather sacrifice more time travelling back-and-forth, then tahan staying in same household with people whom can't get along with.

Thus, need to save up and also look into it to settle the logistical aspects, etc.

About ur statement societal expectations because of the "that is how it has always been" mindset.

I fully agree with the above... some here been saying easy to get a flat because can always just get a loan, then sell the flat, then repeat again etc then can get rich...

But not everyone is into getting "rich" via those kind of methods... if everyone do the same what happens to this society then? Would property still be "affordable" for the less fortunate at all? Furthermore a few of them still thinks what works in the past will carry on to work in the current...

 

[Spike]

Yes renting for now, if buy also won't be JB. Maybe in future, am thinking of Penang, etc.

Can buy Tesla in JB!

 

[FireEmblem]

Still got $700 per month now?

I looked into it recently, nearby my area around Eunos there the rent are around $800 ++ range.

Renting a room not so easy one, need to be subjected to many restrictions, cannot bring family members/friends back and also utilities usage, etc.

Best is try to rent a room in those apartments, where the landlord is not staying there. As in they rent out the rooms, heard that stay with landlords in the same household can be tricky one.

800 reasonable mah, mine 700 (actually was 750 as suddenly remember landlord wanted 750 after 6 months) was 13 years ago.

Sure many can afford it better than me. 750 is 27 of my take home pay which is around 2800 that time.

The topic of this thread is about maintaining mental health, if your mental health is so important, cannot spend less on other stuff?

 

[fandango]

Yes renting for now, if buy also won't be JB. Maybe in future, am thinking of Penang, etc.

Wah penang very far loh

 

[Jiaksemo]

I rather spend on rental than to spend on counseling.

I rented co-share room when I was in my mid 20s. No regrets. I moved back after I completed studies and moved out shortly after.

Go back to have weekly catchup with them, but thankfully, I am out. The catchup topics were the same 10-20 years ago. Nothing has changed - they quarrel for every small issue, every day.

It’s draining to stay under one roof. I love them, but sorry; I can’t live with them.

 

[krikering]

About ur statement societal expectations because of the "that is how it has always been" mindset.

I fully agree with the above... some here been saying easy to get a flat because can always just get a loan, then sell the flat, then repeat again etc then can get rich...

But not everyone is into getting "rich" via those kind of methods... if everyone do the same what happens to this society then? Would property still be "affordable" for the less fortunate at all? Furthermore a few of them still thinks what works in the past will carry on to work in the current...

SG's biggest mistake was embarking on the population ponzi scheme.

Back in 1995, GCT mentioned about your HDB only appreciating in value and then MBT later came out with the disastrous and idiotic "Asset Enhancement Scheme"

Back then, already got the Japan Property bubble burst in 1992 but they never learnt from this lesson.

Then after that got the Nassim Jade scandal, Tang Liang Hong and JBJ, etc. spoke about it and got sued and bankrupted because of it.

Honestly super bad optics during then.

800 reasonable mah, mine 700 (actually was 750 as suddenly remember landlord wanted 750 after 6 months) was 13 years ago.

Sure many can afford it better than me. 750 is 27 of my take home pay which is around 2800 that time.

The topic of this thread is about maintaining mental health, if your mental health is so important, cannot spend less on other stuff?

Oh I see, 13 years ago. That is why I surprised so cheap now, think now should be around $850 per room as the norm at least ba. Last time I checked was around 1 year + ago liao.

Wah penang very far loh

Retirement not rent, I hope to withdraw my CPF to retire there next time. Penang safer than most parts of Malaysia, have to say the local government doing a very good job there.

Amenities, infrastructure all not bad too. Plus less crowded, SG is really too crowded liao. We really going to fight with Hong Kong to see who more crowded, at the rate our population rise.

I rather spend on rental than to spend on counseling.

I rented co-share room when I was in my mid 20s. No regrets. I moved back after I completed studies and moved out shortly after.

Go back to have weekly catchup with them, but thankfully, I am out. The catchup topics were the same 10-20 years ago. Nothing has changed - they quarrel for every small issue, every day.

It’s draining to stay under one roof. I love them, but sorry; I can’t live with them.

Yes, agreed with you. Personal space is super important to mental health one, lack of personal space impacts mental health deeply, thus then later affects physical health too as well.

 

[pokipoki08]

find a nice jhb
can cohabitating in sg
buy house in jb and retire earlier

i see many divorced males, uncles find girlfriends new wives in johor ofc not 20 yo syt

 

[cosmothecat]

Lol only in SG, you got the luxury of staying with parents. Overseas you have no choice but to get out of your dinky town to earn money.

Stay with parents, leech on parents, still complain that parents causing mental health issues ...

really is char siew