(100% serious moral question, no jokes and sarcasm pls) - is it wrong to (even think about dating) or date if I have had cancer

[touchring1]

Not wrong, but it's better to be upfront if got any critical incurable illness, like cancer, aids, hep b, etc. not doing so is like cheating.

 

[A Better Tomorrow]

What do you mean attracting the wrong kind of person. I am a already considered bottom of the barrel scum in the dating pool,how more wrong can I be?

There will bound to have some minorities who see your plight as a positive attribute.

And usually these women are divorcees, with kids.

So chin up and date as per normal. We all comes with strengths as well as some defects which some might see them as advantages.

 

[thetortiserunner]

I would think dating might not be a good approach as you will probably get rejected more often, join some hobby groups or interest activities, make friends n slowly try your luck.

Without deeper relationship, most girls maybe including myself would probably upfront reject a man who is cancer survivor, cos we dun want to be a widow too early.

But life is full of unknown, nobody know who will die first, so good luck to you. But dating app is not a good choice, I heard many bad stories about it on edmw.

My job in a warehouse all guys and/or older females. I do cycle and run tho,but those are more we do the activity together and go home after that types, not really anything more

 

[OrLengJuz]

can frequent hospital's chemotherapy section and find~

 

[lalalalalala]

Hey congrats on beating cancer. Imo just put in your bio, sth short like "cancer survivor".

My opinion is if people can't accept you for who you are then they're not worth your time. Don't be caught up on those who cancel or avoid you. It's perfectly normal and happens to everyone including people who haven't had to battle cancer before.

Dating and relationships are about accepting the flaws of your partner. Don't worry, you'll find your match

 

[BohemianSG]

Hey TS.. i am also a cancer survivor.. U have every right to live the full life you want. My BIL is also a cancer survivor. My nephew was conceived and born after the cancer and is noisy but a healthy boy. You are only 27, no reason why you cannot lead a full life.

My suggestion is you do not need to wear it like a badge upfront because not everyone understand how cancer works due in part to media portrayals. There could be lingering biases due to lack of understanding. You do not need to feed that by telling everyone upfront.

Just make frens first instead of thinking so far. Go on dates just to make frens. This applies even for non cancer survivors. Focus on improving your health, stamina etc. Go Gym/exercise build up strength. Pick up positive hobbies. Take care of complexion and hygiene.

You have an unfair advantage compared to others. You have seen thru life at an early age.

 

[thetortiserunner]

you dun need to explicitly say so on the first date
you can casually mention it after a few dates
for the ladies to accept or not is up to them, not something you can control anyway
unless you hide the fact which is not really a good thing to do when both of you are in a serious relationship.
just keep dating
.................... until you see open and join us bbfa ...........

I do exercise a lot so I am the opposite, a TTFA

it's like damned if you do damned if you don't situation. Reveal first scare them away, Reveal later and get accused of hiding and questioned what more am I hiding ?

 

[Prof. Utonium]

No, but be upfront during the first phase of dating. Doesn't have to be the first date but do it once you both are still getting to know each other.

My partner and I shared our allergies, medical history and genetic conditions when we still trying to know each other. Afterwards we try to accommodate or take note of it.

E.g. I am too bui, so cannot eat fatty good.

 

[thetortiserunner]

can frequent hospital's chemotherapy section and find~

BruhH

 

[Jinyu]

Since you are a cancer survivor, it's not wrong if you don't reveal this upfront at the start. When you become closer to someone you like, you can share more personal matters. For example, when you first meet someone for dating, if they immediately shared very personal information, you might only see them through that lens. I believe personal matters can be shared when you've established a connection and before making the relationship official. Building rapport and feeling comfortable with each other is more important initially

 

[grevq80o]

Hi everyone,this is a question that has been bugging and unsettling me for quite some time now.

I am 27, male, straight and a former recent cancer survivor. is it morally wrong/ " chek arkh" / "hei1 xin1 as a cancer survivor to entertain the thought of dating let alone dating itself?

My perception is that dating is and should be a blissful union of 2 members , to enjoy each others company, or in other words , cliche and Tumblr-like as it may sound , to live, laugh and love together (as one)

However from my POV ; (in the context of online dating) it has been pretty bad. I am average looking at best on a good day.

I do get occasional matches from time to time and have had rare success (read not being ignored ) of sliding into DMs of girls who put their Instagram tag on their tinder.

My principal is that with something like my cancer, I can hide it initially for a while since it's not immediately physically evident ; but sooner or later down the road , especially if things progress to a more serious stage in a relationship, it will reveal itself - hence Ive decided to reveal or talk about it as soon as possible, rather sooner now than later, otherwise I wouldn't be able to live with myself and losing sleep hiding a secret like that.

Owing to that , I've tried different approaches, mentioning it on my bio, telling them when we match and after messaging for a while.

However none of them have had any positive outcomes so far. Each and everyone of them has unmatched or rejected me in some form or another when learning about my condition.

Even the few and far between angmoh girls (almost even went out with 1,but got cancelled on last minute when I mentioned my cancer) whom I thought ,coming from a more open and liberal culture , would be accepting, have done so too.

So back to the main question - is it wrong to (even think about dating) or date if I have had cancer

++PS those of you who are in a relationship , especially in a long term on or even better yet, married, I would be highly thankful and appreciate it if you can show your girlfriends or wifes this post and ask what she thinks

Alamak TS. Your title post is salah.... You should say cancer survivor and not cancer.. like still undergoing chemo..

That why I see your title liao.. beri confused - if kena cancer undergoing treatment esp chemo, where got mood to go dating,

Yuan Lai ish after good fortune cancer remission you starting your life again.. then why must still discriminate yourself? Just need to be vigilant (i.e. routine cancer screeninig) and live healthy and take care yourself to remain cancer free lo..

 

[titusilvering]

Hi everyone,this is a question that has been bugging and unsettling me for quite some time now.

I am 27, male, straight and a former recent cancer survivor. is it morally wrong/ " chek arkh" / "hei1 xin1 as a cancer survivor to entertain the thought of dating let alone dating itself?

My perception is that dating is and should be a blissful union of 2 members , to enjoy each others company, or in other words , cliche and Tumblr-like as it may sound , to live, laugh and love together (as one)

However from my POV ; (in the context of online dating) it has been pretty bad. I am average looking at best on a good day.

I do get occasional matches from time to time and have had rare success (read not being ignored ) of sliding into DMs of girls who put their Instagram tag on their tinder.

My principal is that with something like my cancer, I can hide it initially for a while since it's not immediately physically evident ; but sooner or later down the road , especially if things progress to a more serious stage in a relationship, it will reveal itself - hence Ive decided to reveal or talk about it as soon as possible, rather sooner now than later, otherwise I wouldn't be able to live with myself and losing sleep hiding a secret like that.

Owing to that , I've tried different approaches, mentioning it on my bio, telling them when we match and after messaging for a while.

However none of them have had any positive outcomes so far. Each and everyone of them has unmatched or rejected me in some form or another when learning about my condition.

Even the few and far between angmoh girls (almost even went out with 1,but got cancelled on last minute when I mentioned my cancer) whom I thought ,coming from a more open and liberal culture , would be accepting, have done so too.

So back to the main question - is it wrong to (even think about dating) or date if I have had cancer

++PS those of you who are in a relationship , especially in a long term on or even better yet, married, I would be highly thankful and appreciate it if you can show your girlfriends or wifes this post and ask what she thinks

Just tell your dating person your condition

 

[thetortiserunner]

Hey congrats on beating cancer. Imo just put in your bio, sth short like "cancer survivor".

My opinion is if people can't accept you for who you are then they're not worth your time. Don't be caught up on those who cancel or avoid you. It's perfectly normal and happens to everyone including people who haven't had to battle cancer before.

Dating and relationships are about accepting the flaws of your partner. Don't worry, you'll find your match

I did used to put that before I was told to remove it as it's self pwn

 

[OrLengJuz]

BruhH

sorry, can't help.
since normal girls u already kinda face rejection.
did you try foreign or just target sinkie women?
trying to check~ maybe its not your condition~ it's the same problem face by every sinkie males

 

[5adisticD3vil]

I do exercise a lot so I am the opposite, a TTFA

it's like damned if you do damned if you don't situation. Reveal first scare them away, Reveal later and get accused of hiding and questioned what more am I hiding ?

no one reveal everything on first date de lah
esp something this personal
when you two go on more date and is pretty comfortable with each other, then open up to her.
she will prolly think wtf is wrong with you telling her that on the first date, must be xiao lang, better siam far far
if she is the one, this wun bother her
if not then too bad, better luck next time
............. or join us, we have cai png

 

[dambio]

Hi everyone,this is a question that has been bugging and unsettling me for quite some time now.

I am 27, male, straight and a former recent cancer survivor. is it morally wrong/ " chek arkh" / "hei1 xin1 as a cancer survivor to entertain the thought of dating let alone dating itself?

My perception is that dating is and should be a blissful union of 2 members , to enjoy each others company, or in other words , cliche and Tumblr-like as it may sound , to live, laugh and love together (as one)

However from my POV ; (in the context of online dating) it has been pretty bad. I am average looking at best on a good day.

I do get occasional matches from time to time and have had rare success (read not being ignored ) of sliding into DMs of girls who put their Instagram tag on their tinder.

My principal is that with something like my cancer, I can hide it initially for a while since it's not immediately physically evident ; but sooner or later down the road , especially if things progress to a more serious stage in a relationship, it will reveal itself - hence Ive decided to reveal or talk about it as soon as possible, rather sooner now than later, otherwise I wouldn't be able to live with myself and losing sleep hiding a secret like that.

Owing to that , I've tried different approaches, mentioning it on my bio, telling them when we match and after messaging for a while.

However none of them have had any positive outcomes so far. Each and everyone of them has unmatched or rejected me in some form or another when learning about my condition.

Even the few and far between angmoh girls (almost even went out with 1,but got cancelled on last minute when I mentioned my cancer) whom I thought ,coming from a more open and liberal culture , would be accepting, have done so too.

So back to the main question - is it wrong to (even think about dating) or date if I have had cancer

++PS those of you who are in a relationship , especially in a long term on or even better yet, married, I would be highly thankful and appreciate it if you can show your girlfriends or wifes this post and ask what she thinks

If you're cleared of cancer alr think it's ok. N they're alot of weird ppl out there now.

Maybe some will purposely find ppl who got illnesses. So can faster get their assets.

 

[BigSword]

What do you mean attracting the wrong kind of person. I am a already considered bottom of the barrel scum in the dating pool,how more wrong can I be?

try to get rid of such thoughts maybe

 

[gravity_infinity]

Hi everyone,this is a question that has been bugging and unsettling me for quite some time now.

I am 27, male, straight and a former recent cancer survivor. is it morally wrong/ " chek arkh" / "hei1 xin1 as a cancer survivor to entertain the thought of dating let alone dating itself?

My perception is that dating is and should be a blissful union of 2 members , to enjoy each others company, or in other words , cliche and Tumblr-like as it may sound , to live, laugh and love together (as one)

However from my POV ; (in the context of online dating) it has been pretty bad. I am average looking at best on a good day.

I do get occasional matches from time to time and have had rare success (read not being ignored ) of sliding into DMs of girls who put their Instagram tag on their tinder.

My principal is that with something like my cancer, I can hide it initially for a while since it's not immediately physically evident ; but sooner or later down the road , especially if things progress to a more serious stage in a relationship, it will reveal itself - hence Ive decided to reveal or talk about it as soon as possible, rather sooner now than later, otherwise I wouldn't be able to live with myself and losing sleep hiding a secret like that.

Owing to that , I've tried different approaches, mentioning it on my bio, telling them when we match and after messaging for a while.

However none of them have had any positive outcomes so far. Each and everyone of them has unmatched or rejected me in some form or another when learning about my condition.

Even the few and far between angmoh girls (almost even went out with 1,but got cancelled on last minute when I mentioned my cancer) whom I thought ,coming from a more open and liberal culture , would be accepting, have done so too.

So back to the main question - is it wrong to (even think about dating) or date if I have had cancer

++PS those of you who are in a relationship , especially in a long term on or even better yet, married, I would be highly thankful and appreciate it if you can show your girlfriends or wifes this post and ask what she thinks

dont think too much . just be upfront when you notice the girl whom u like also likes u

 

[thetortiserunner]

Hey TS.. i am also a cancer survivor.. U have every right to live the full life you want. My BIL is also a cancer survivor. My nephew was conceived and born after the cancer and is noisy but a healthy boy. You are only 27, no reason why you cannot lead a full life.

My suggestion is you do not need to wear it like a badge upfront because not everyone understand how cancer works due in part to media portrayals. There could be lingering biases due to lack of understanding. You do not need to feed that by telling everyone upfront.

Just make frens first instead of thinking so far. Go on dates just to make frens. This applies even for non cancer survivors. Focus on improving your health, stamina etc. Go Gym/exercise build up strength. Pick up positive hobbies. Take care of complexion and hygiene.

You have an unfair advantage compared to others. You have seen thru life at an early age.

It's a catch 22, say or don't say also lose
Am into Tri/duathalon recently

 

[gravity_infinity]

What do you mean attracting the wrong kind of person. I am a already considered bottom of the barrel scum in the dating pool,how more wrong can I be?

i think he meant people who are after your assets and waiting for u to up lorry