30s-50s chitchat club

Milo-Dino

Milo-Dino

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firsttimebuyer said:
Hi all, I’d like to get some perspectives from forum members regarding my current relationship situation.

I’ve been seeing someone, but there are a few things that are starting to worry me, and I’m not sure how concerned I should be:

My partner seems to have no friends of her own, at least from what I can tell. She gave me the impression she had absolutely no friends.

She refuses to meet any of my friends. Whenever I bring this up, the conversation doesn’t go anywhere and she avoids the topic. I find it difficult because in a relationship, I feel at least some introduction with each other’s circle is natural. At first, she said she was okay with me meeting my friends but she later kicked up a big fuss.

She tends to give evasive or non-committal replies on many matters, sometimes showing almost no opinion on issues I raise. When I try to talk face to face about important or personal issues, she either avoids the discussion or ends up crying. She opens up more through text messages instead.

Timing has also been tricky — recently when I wanted to spend more time together doing new activities(e.g., attending a talk), she said she had cramps, then later fell sick. Around the same period I also got sick, and it feels like there’s always some obstacle preventing meaningful interaction.

I’m beginning to wonder:

How concerned should I be about someone with no friends and an avoidance of integrating into my social circle?

Is it a red flag if my partner consistently avoids giving opinions or direct answers, especially in face-to-face conversations?

Could there be deeper issues (e.g., social anxiety or past trauma), or should I be looking at this as incompatibility?

Appreciate honest perspectives from those with similar experiences, or anyone who can share what’s “normal” vs potential red flags in this kind of situation.

Thanks in advance.
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LWZ said:
My wife also has no friends, but she was neither born nor raised here. Then again, I have lived my whole life here and have very few friends, whom I only meet once or twice a year at best. My Whatsapp can go a whole month without any messages from friends or even my parents.

She also doesn't meet my friends, but I am not bothered la. Kicking up a big fuss about it after agreeing is a red flag though...


How did you meet her ? What's her personality like around you ?
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firsttimebuyer said:
My GF is also a foreigner. She lives with her sister. I think personality wise, I like to meet friends while she is very homely.

I met her through Tinder. I sensed that she is super-introvert. On the last fight, she asked if I was going to continue to meet friends if we have kids (just to clarify, we are both dating to marry).
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My wife also got no friends here despite being in Singapore for 15 years... Also foreign born but become sg citizen. She occasionally will have meals with her sister that's all.

But she doesn't really stop me from going out occasionally to meet friends
 
Dusky01

Dusky01

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Milo-Dino said:
My wife also got no friends here despite being in Singapore for 15 years... Also foreign born but become sg citizen. She occasionally will have meals with her sister that's all.

But she doesn't really stop me from going out occasionally to meet friends
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strictly speaking I also no Ching gu . After work I go home or gym or hang around here haha

I also don’t stop my man to meet his Ching gu

I have close colleague whom I can complain or talk .. she is as close as a Ching gu as can be Liao
 
aceminer

aceminer

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Dusky01 said:
strictly speaking I also no Ching gu . After work I go home or gym or hang around here haha

I also don’t stop my man to meet his Ching gu

I have close colleague whom I can complain or talk .. she is as close as a Ching gu as can be Liao
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whats ching gu??
 
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