At 31, moving out of my family home saved my mental health

[XcoVar]

Why staying with parents will cause mental health issues?

For my case, the lacked of privacy. We lived in a 3 room HDB, I have a elder & younger sis.

 

[FireEmblem]

last time housing prices low are easy u supposed move out even bfore 30

Simi easy? My pay after cpf only 2800 when I moved out, so $700 is like 25% of my bring home pay.

 

[fandango]

For my case, the lacked of privacy. We lived in a 3 room HDB, I have a elder & younger sis.

Who you sharing room with?

 

[Linguist]

Can u think with your brain and not your ass?

Sg how small only? U know what is proper allocation of resources or not?

Plus You have chance to ballot 2 room bto is better than alot alot of other people in other countries liao.

Can u think with ur brain not ur ass too?
SG so small and yet they cannot build flat to cope with the demand?

How many sinkies above 35 or families have been balloting for years yet did not get the chance to buy a BTO flat? U don't have friends or u don't even read or get to know other plights via forums and news?

I thought I wrote my answer very clearly?

Then stay a child, obey parents and be thankful to them for letting one stay?

Er.....which part not clear?

And the main issue is about mental stress... so got away from toxic minded parents like probably urself but then got into financial issue due to paying rental and etc unnecessary instead of paying for a flat that can be called a home and pay for furnishing and furniture etc

That's why some people jumped...? and the parents finds no reason because they always think their children has no issue living with them because they are "obedient" and "thankful"... recently got a article about that particular parent who has no clue why the kid jumped right?

Toxic Parents?

Why staying with parents will cause mental health issues?

Why not?
There are parents who expect the children to pay for everything and they "lay flat" because they have provided the children with education and a "life"...

There are parents who wants to control their children to become what they want the children to grow up as...

There are parents who will run through their children drawers and throw away stuff they think is rubbish but not their own...

There are parents who diss their children because they did not meet their expectations and etc...

 

[crazythen]

At >35 (some probably even >40), the person mental health is not saved because every BTO balloting failed as HDB did not build enough for all the singles demand...

Even more stressed as housing get more and more expensive each year...

Once married with babies, will crawl back to parents.

 

[MoeLanYong]

And the main issue is about mental stress... so got away from toxic minded parents like probably urself but then got into financial issue due to paying rental and etc unnecessary instead of paying for a flat that can be called a home and pay for furnishing and furniture etc

I dunno why I need to repeat so many times. Obey parents. Solved. It's their home. The child has blurred the lines. Can't be the parents shift out.

 

[Sen Sen]

I more worried leaving them alone at home..

 

[Linguist]

I dunno why I need to repeat so many times. Obey parents. Solved. It's their home. The child has blurred the lines. Can't be the parents shift out.

So u rather the kid/person suffer from mental stress and then mental illness...

Wow... kudos to u...

 

[Nuclear Boy]

Why must get bto then can move out?

I moved out to stay on my own at age 36, rented a room outside for $700 a month

Get poorer paying ever-increasing rent rates, less money to save up for a BTO and live with healthy diet? Sounds like a great idea.

 

[Nuclear Boy]

So u rather the kid/person suffer from mental stress and then mental illness...

Wow... kudos to u...

Definitely a toxic parent themselves to have such a sentiment. These kind of ppl should never have kids.

They think they are the Almighty at home and can do no wrong to their children, just because they are the ones providing.

 

[fandango]

Can u think with ur brain not ur ass too?
SG so small and yet they cannot build flat to cope with the demand?

How many sinkies above 35 or families have been balloting for years yet did not get the chance to buy a BTO flat? U don't have friends or u don't even read or get to know other plights via forums and news?

And the main issue is about mental stress... so got away from toxic minded parents like probably urself but then got into financial issue due to paying rental and etc unnecessary instead of paying for a flat that can be called a home and pay for furnishing and furniture etc

That's why some people jumped...? and the parents finds no reason because they always think their children has no issue living with them because they are "obedient" and "thankful"... recently got a article about that particular parent who has no clue why the kid jumped right?


Why not?
There are parents who expect the children to pay for everything and they "lay flat" because they have provided the children with education and a "life"...

There are parents who wants to control their children to become what they want the children to grow up as...

There are parents who will run through their children drawers and throw away stuff they think is rubbish but not their own...

There are parents who diss their children because they did not meet their expectations and etc...

For my chewren, next time if they contribute money ish OK lar.

But limpeh will not tahan if:

1. Don't wash own clothes and underwear, only throw in laundry basket and expect them magically washed, dried, iron.

2. Pangsai toilet stain dont clear

3. Brush teeth make whole sink wet

4. Eat already don't clear and wash up the dishes

5. Body foam shampoo use finish already never bother to buy, expect magically top up.

6. Shoes never put properly and anyhow throw at the door

7. Whole day use the aircon and don't even bother to offer help with electrical bill.

How to tahan as parents?

 

[AeRo84]

Why want to pay others $700 monthly when u could have finance ur home for that $700 monthly IF there was enough flat available for every eligible singaporean?

nobody stopping you to buy your own house, if you no $ to buy that's your own problem isnt it

 

[Linguist]

For my chewren, next time if they contribute money ish OK lar.

But limpeh will not tahan if:

1. Don't wash own clothes and underwear, only throw in laundry basket and expect them magically washed, dried, iron.

2. Pangsai toilet stain dont clear

3. Brush teeth make whole sink wet

4. Eat already don't clear and wash up the dishes

5. Body foam shampoo use finish already never bother to buy, expect magically top up.

6. Shoes never put properly and anyhow throw at the door

7. Whole day use the aircon and don't even bother to offer help with electrical bill.

How to tahan as parents?

1. Will ur wife complaint why need wash separately and incur higher water bill and electricity bill?

2. Did u clear ur own pang sai stain? Would u expect them to buy their own toilet brush and washing agent? How about u use the master bedroom toilet and they use the common toilet then even if it's not washed u will have no problem since u don't use it

3. How can the sink not get wet when brush teeth? U want the kids to swallow the paste/foam or to spit outside the corridor?

4 - 7 agreeable if the children not paying or contributing anything...

nobody stopping you to buy your own house, if you no $ to buy that's your own problem isnt it

https://www.straitstimes.com/singap...sely-exploring-further-support-gan-siow-huang

https://www.channelnewsasia.com/sin...s-below-30-and-seniors-above-60-in-q2-5349646

Do u support the rise of scammers, illegal platform workers, and crimes etc because they just wanted to earn more money to lead a basic life with basic necessities such as housing ?

 

[MoeLanYong]

So u rather the kid/person suffer from mental stress and then mental illness...

Wow... kudos to u...

You're welcome.

If ever my child calls me toxic or accuse me of causing him/her mental stress, I will kick him/her out of my house in 0.835 seconds.

Not because I am angry or want retaliation. But because I would have failed him as a father by not checking him. He will find life miserable in future.

And I have done it before. My 16 y.o boy spent one night in the staircase. From 9pm. Sitting throughout. Didnt lie at all. He was kicked out and refused entry.

24 hours later, cured. Humbled. Very thankful for a bed to sleep and a toilet to shower. I offered to extend treatment for 2 or 3 days. He politely declined.

养不教，父之过
教不严，师之惰

 

[Nuclear Boy]

How to tahan as parents?

Not ready to provide for your kids' "whims", don't have any in the first place.

 

[mummynew]

For my chewren, next time if they contribute money ish OK lar.

But limpeh will not tahan if:

1. Don't wash own clothes and underwear, only throw in laundry basket and expect them magically washed, dried, iron.

2. Pangsai toilet stain dont clear

3. Brush teeth make whole sink wet

4. Eat already don't clear and wash up the dishes

5. Body foam shampoo use finish already never bother to buy, expect magically top up.

6. Shoes never put properly and anyhow throw at the door

7. Whole day use the aircon and don't even bother to offer help with electrical bill.

How to tahan as parents?

Lucky my adult kids zidong type.

I cook but they wash up dishes and mop the floor on weekdays. Weekends they cook and I wash dishes and mop.

Each does own laundry (I will iron for them if I am in the mood else they settle themselves). My son started washing own clothes since enter NS.

Each one cleans own room (we don't go to each other's room unless absolutely necessary). Never jjyy about the other party's room.

They pay for all expenses in the house (that I have a sub card to buy grocery for home).

Whole family very cordial / respectful. I don't bother them at all and vice versa (respecting them a bit like 'tenants' with exchanges happen mainly during meal times together).

*My house limited drying clothes space. So we have a schedule of which day who can wash / dry clothes.

 

[fandango]

1. Will ur wife complaint why need wash separately and incur higher water bill and electricity bill?

2. Did u clear ur own pang sai stain? Would u expect them to buy their own toilet brush and washing agent? How about u use the master bedroom toilet and they use the common toilet then even if it's not washed u will have no problem since u don't use it

3. How can the sink not get wet when brush teeth? U want the kids to swallow the paste/foam or to spit outside the corridor?

4 - 7 agreeable if the children not paying or contributing anything...

https://www.straitstimes.com/singap...sely-exploring-further-support-gan-siow-huang

1. My laundry bag cannot wait for your indefinitely one mah. Just wash on your own, dry own clothes and fold iron them once done lar. Will die meh?

2. Of course I clear them lar. In army also teach you to do area cleaning what. The common bathroom is also considered my house mah. If I have guest coming over and they need to use toilet, they see the common bathroom dirty like hell, can meh?

3. The counter top around the sink area lar. All wet and moldy.

 

[idolcritic]

Gongxi gongxi
Soon pap will allow singles below 40 buy bto

 

[Nuclear Boy]

You're welcome.

If ever my child calls me toxic or accuse me of causing him/her mental stress, I will kick him/her out of my house in 0.835 seconds.

Not because I am angry or want retaliation. But because I would have failed him as a father by not checking him. He will find life miserable in future.

And I have done it before. My 16 y.o boy spent one night in the staircase. From 9pm. Sitting throughout. Didnt lie at all. He was kicked out and refused entry.

24 hours later, cured. Humbled. Very thankful for a bed to sleep and a place to shower. I offered to extend treatment for 2 or 3 days. He politely declined.

养不教，父之过
教不严，师之惰

I'm sure your boy loves you. (*sarcasm*)

I hope you have your retirement funds in check and not have to rely on any of your children. Or you might find out how much they are willing to chip in in the future, given how you've treated them.

 

[Linguist]

You're welcome.

If ever my child calls me toxic or accuse me of causing him/her mental stress, I will kick him/her out of my house in 0.835 seconds.

Not because I am angry or want retaliation. But because I would have failed him as a father by not checking him. He will find life miserable in future.

And I have done it before. My 16 y.o boy spent one night in the staircase. From 9pm. Sitting throughout. Didnt lie at all. He was kicked out and refused entry.

24 hours later, cured. Humbled. Very thankful for a bed to sleep and a toilet to shower. I offered to extend treatment for 2 or 3 days. He politely declined.

养不教，父之过
教不严，师之惰

I'm sure your boy loves you. (*sarcasm*)

I hope you have your retirement funds in check and not have to rely on any of your children. Or you might find out how much they are willing to chip in in the future, given how you've treated them.

Yeah... let's hope in future the reverse won't happen with u crawling to ur kid asking for shelter or help...

Not saying u r wrong but great u taught ur kid a lesson if indeed he was in the wrong to begin with...

Gongxi gongxi
Soon pap will allow singles below 40 buy bto

All the while singles from 35 can ballot for bto... they are considering lowering the age now... probably cuz of the backlash about not enough flats for the demands and the waiting time is so long for the flats to be built by then the single already 45 or perished due to existing conditions...?

Lucky my adult kids zidong type.

I cook but they wash up dishes and mop the floor on weekdays. Weekends they cook and I wash dishes and mop.

Each does own laundry (I will iron for them if I am in the mood else they settle themselves). My son started washing own clothes since enter NS.

Each one cleans own room (we don't go to each other's room unless absolutely necessary). Never jjyy about the other party's room.

They pay for all expenses in the house (that I have a sub card to buy grocery for home).

Whole family very cordial / respectful. I don't bother them at all and vice versa (respecting them a bit like 'tenants' with exchanges happen mainly during meal times together).

*My house limited drying clothes space. So we have a schedule of which day who can wash / dry clothes.

Single parent family?