I am very depressed now

[Kitaro9202]

Doc told he might have risk of stroke

That y i need him to go out walk to stay healthy

 

[Lchlch]

Long story short

My father went to cataract surgery 1 month ago

Operation went smooth.

But here the thing doc say after few days etc can go out etc.

But my dad keep insist staying at home for over 1 month complain body hot etc.

The doc told him need to go walking like 30min daily

Den my dad keep giving excuses that giddy hot weather etc.

Tbh i kinda of give up on him and he is making my mental state very bad until I don't feel like going back home.

How old is your father?
He might suffer from some health issue?

 

[Lchlch]

Doc told he might have risk of stroke

That y i need him to go out walk to stay healthy

Maybe ask your mum to talk him over?.
Or your siblings?

 

[AUTUMN&WINTER]

Long story short

My father went to cataract surgery 1 month ago

Operation went smooth.

But here the thing doc say after few days etc can go out etc.

But my dad keep insist staying at home for over 1 month complain body hot etc.

The doc told him need to go walking like 30min daily

Den my dad keep giving excuses that giddy hot weather etc.

Tbh i kinda of give up on him and he is making my mental state very bad until I don't feel like going back home.

I encountered the same problem as you. My dad said too tired to go out. He said I would know how he felt when I am his age. What he said struck me. Might be I didn't really know he felt. After that, I let him be.

 

[qhong61]

I have tried but I also need to work. But he at home also wear shade.

Now go out without shade like cant.

I suspect his eye already season the darkness

Why not being him back to eye doctor for another opinion.
Or just leave him alone if he prefers.

 

[arsenalfc85]

I see my pa I sighLoudSigh whenever something crop up for such old ppl

Same la

my dad everytime go out touch the things outside, then come home don’t want to wash hands. After that he will eat. Then he will use his hands to dig his mouth, take out the dentures, dig the dentures, later put back inside the mouth. How much dirt, bacteria or virus he’s ingesting I also don’t know. Tell him then he get angry.

he no friend no hobby but don’t want to go daycare do activities n do physio exercises . I persuade him then Kena scolding. Now his cognitive and brain ability declining, walking also not as stable.

we as children mean well, but they stubborn what to do. Just let them be. But end up anything happen to them, we as children take care. Haiz. 很难当孝子孝女

Sometimes I wish I could be like my sibling. Everything heck care bo chup about my dad. But if I’m also like my sibling, my dad gg liao lo

 

[Atrina_Boy]

reading this thread starts to make me stress too..

 

[arsenalfc85]

I also stuck with my dad who doesn’t wanna take care of himself, and a sibling who bo chup everything.

End up the one 难做的就是我.

 

[arsenalfc85]

All I can say is..

please don’t make life difficult for your family members. Each member Give n take a bit ok?

 

[Kitaro9202]

Maybe ask your mum to talk him over?.
Or your siblings?

Mother pass on when I was a kid

My sis due to tis mental breakdown

 

[Lchlch]

Mother pass on when I was a kid

My sis due to tis mental breakdown

Oh sorry to hear that.
Please take care bro.

 

[Song Bro]

Actually TS can encourage dad to pick up the habit of window shopping.
Firstly, air-conditioned - hot weather no issue.
Second, safety, if touch wood anything happen, there are passerby there to help.
Taka going to have a food fest, can ask him go there mum mum.
Thirdly, while TS is not accompany him, there are people around there.
At least not feel so lonely.
Btw can go at brunch time, walk walk, till afternoon after drink kopi go back,
weather not so hot liao.
Once or twice he might grow to like this.
Staying at home stare at four walls - bad for mental health de...

 

[dambio]

Long story short

My father went to cataract surgery 1 month ago

Operation went smooth.

But here the thing doc say after few days etc can go out etc.

But my dad keep insist staying at home for over 1 month complain body hot etc.

The doc told him need to go walking like 30min daily

Den my dad keep giving excuses that giddy hot weather etc.

Tbh i kinda of give up on him and he is making my mental state very bad until I don't feel like going back home.

Either dad still can't see well to go walk. Hence finding excuses not to. Or he just dun wanna.

U just let him be lor. U got good intentions but it's his body.

U just go do Ur thing la.

 

[cyke69sg]

Long story short

My father went to cataract surgery 1 month ago

Operation went smooth.

But here the thing doc say after few days etc can go out etc.

But my dad keep insist staying at home for over 1 month complain body hot etc.

The doc told him need to go walking like 30min daily

Den my dad keep giving excuses that giddy hot weather etc.

Tbh i kinda of give up on him and he is making my mental state very bad until I don't feel like going back home.

You can talk to @arsenalfc85 you two seem to have similar issues.

 

[cyke69sg]

why ts sound like me ?

ts, at least ur dad no dementia, still can function normally.

usually we are torn between whether to let our parents be or to get them to be more active

sometimes feel that they are old liao, just let them do what they want. but what they want may not be the best thing. so we try to get them to do the "right" thing. It can be frustrating.

Ts reminded me of you
You ok bro?

Feeling better?

Remember to tell yourself is maybe just a bad day today. Not a bad life.

Some days good some days bad. That's life.

Don make big decisions in days that are bad. @Kitaro9202

 

[randyap]

Long story short

My father went to cataract surgery 1 month ago

Operation went smooth.

But here the thing doc say after few days etc can go out etc.

But my dad keep insist staying at home for over 1 month complain body hot etc.

The doc told him need to go walking like 30min daily

Den my dad keep giving excuses that giddy hot weather etc.

Tbh i kinda of give up on him and he is making my mental state very bad until I don't feel like going back home.

I feel you, and had it worse than u.

 

[Kitaro9202]

Ts reminded me of you
You ok bro?

Feeling better?

Remember to tell yourself is maybe just a bad day today. Not a bad life.

Some days good some days bad. That's life.

Don make big decisions in days that are bad. @Kitaro9202

Abit better but tbh mental breakdown is real.

 

[cyke69sg]

Abit better but tbh mental breakdown is real.

it is. I know what it is like.
It doesn't happen overnight
It is accumulation of years of abuse and frustration

Then there is a tipping point.

And when you get there you cannot make normal decisions. Everything is clouded.

Need to take a step back from what is troubling and burdening. Take away the abuse.

Rest the mind.

But is very hard because so used to it. It is considered "normal" when it is not.

 

[roburn]

TS, I understand, when I lived with my parents (in my early 40s), every weekend was hell, my dad will blast youtube, radio and his games from morning until 1am when he sleeps.

My mom will play her drama on the TV.

As the house is small, I cannot escape the noise.

Eventually I moved out and everything is good.

Please try to move out and care less.

 

[Kitaro9202]

it is. I know what it is like.
It doesn't happen overnight
It is accumulation of years of abuse and frustration

Then there is a tipping point.

And when you get there you cannot make normal decisions. Everything is clouded.

Need to take a step back from what is troubling and burdening. Take away the abuse.

Rest the mind.

But is very hard because so used to it. It is considered "normal" when it is not.

For me sometime i tend to stay out late or went out wee hour to 1 to 2 hour walk to clear up my mind.

Like a way to distress.

Some factor play a part as i do not have a full time job and working as a dispatcher for now

Got my monthly bills to pay.

And need to entertain is legi mentally draining.

I do not have much friend and i currently single dog for donkey year also