Actually what's the benchmark? And what's the point?

[jinsadndepress]

cause if you wanna live together for a long time, its better to maintain an illusion so both parties will feel better

Notch true ...

If both see through illusion also can ...

Problem ish when 1 living in illusion 1 not

 

[IAmChiobu12M]

Notch true ...

If both see through illusion also can ...

Problem ish when 1 living in illusion 1 not

Chiu are indeed see through. Crude replies but is real. Most girls cannot accept reality. Very 恋爱脑。

 

[freshvibes]

Wah then I must be a guy. Caz I'll run and make sure it don't hit me too. I never once try to run and catch for it. I always stand the most behind and let all the girls go snatch.

Marriage is unlike the past. However you are a girl.

Girls have an easy life in this country.

It is a very big advantage.

 

[jinsadndepress]

Chiu are indeed see through. Crude replies but is real. Most girls cannot accept reality. Very 恋爱脑。

Escape reality ish human in built cope mechanic ...

I also wont say i see through all ...

I sure still live in denial on many thing

 

[Ethan_]

There is a reason the saying 谈钱伤感情, 谈感情伤钱. Don't go the extreme. Meet somewhere halfway.

 

[IAmChiobu12M]

Marriage is unlike the past. However you are a girl.

Girls have an easy life in this country.

It is a very big advantage.

I haven't feel that life has been easy for me. So maybe idk how to make use of my advantage.

 

[Encouragesome1]

I haven't feel that life has been easy for me. So maybe idk how to make use of my advantage.

It’s ok meimei I neh feel life was easier for my mom , my ah mah either. For me cos I don’t hv everything don’t know how to do husband who is daye
or
husband who mia during work during war and back during post war and run out of gambling $ to steal fr wife n family coffers.

I consider myself most fortunate alr lor. I get to study I go work at a work I chose to. My bros help cover country protection for 2-2y ish. My parents neh force me marry anyone they like but I don’t like. They neh ask me don’t eat sthg I want to eat don’t wear sthg I want to wear . We r v bless lor

 

[Encouragesome1]

meimei and didi s ah mah saw this at fb (first few min until croissant appear can alr .. behind can skip )just now . I thought it pretty cute and I think it summarised what the best parts about rs & marriage stands for.
To endure tgt a hurt for one human and half the pain
To laugh a same joke known to one human and make it a world funniest joke. If u don’t hv an sig other / spouse , just have besties / good friends can already. I can laugh the same laughs sometimes with my bro also
but mostly with my bestie

 

[Encouragesome1]

another war time love story … seems similar to my a kong a mah’s time kinda stories but real life not so drama

TLDR when we have peace we take everyth for granted
For those in war times .. people hv nothing so having a rs gave us as humans a glimmer of hope.

Having other humans around to run into woods / forests tgt as a mini kampung provides a little comfort & safety in numbers against wild animals and minor cushion / mental against life’s tribulations n pains

 

[IAmChiobu12M]

53 我的老板是张琦发布了一篇小红书笔记，快来看吧！ z0cBKqKlIEnWOPk http://xhslink.com/a/VPXjMGd3ZeIcb，复制本条信息，打开【小红书】App查看精彩内容！

I guess this is a good summary of how relationship should work. At least it aligns to my values.

 

[Ethan_]

another war time love story … seems similar to my a kong a mah’s time kinda stories but real life not so drama

TLDR when we have peace we take everyth for granted
For those in war times .. people hv nothing so having a rs gave us as humans a glimmer of hope.

Having other humans around to run into woods / forests tgt as a mini kampung provides a little comfort & safety in numbers against wild animals and minor cushion / mental against life’s tribulations n pains

Think story was nice. Its meaningful. Love and life of ordinary people. How to find happiness in an ordinary life.

 

[Encouragesome1]

Think story was nice. Its meaningful. Love and life of ordinary people. How to find happiness in an ordinary life.

Actually simple life is bliss

 

[Ethan_]

Actually simple life is bliss

Think nowadays most people have too much unrealistic expectations. Want too much beyond own ability. Worse is own self not capable but expect others to provide alot. End up become a toxic leech. Then jjww why the other party cannot provide. Never look self in the mirror what have self become.

Generally think for a couple, if own self not even capable of having. Should not expect the other party to provide too much. The other party capable want to do, its their generosity and love. Don't want to do its their right. When one demand, then one is the leech.

If just an ordinary person. Should know own position in life. Live simple. Know one limit, what can have, and what cannot have. Don't always hope to find someone and expect the other party provide. When both come together, both bring together their resources to live better. Not one leech on the other in order for one to live better.

Each contribute their own. To make their life better. A good gauge if the relationship is true is when both feel they want to improve themselves for the other party. Love is two way. Not one sided. If there is a leech in the relationship. Think the relationship won't be happy much one, may not even last long. Something have to give, and the leech will not be satisfied one, will move on when cannot get what want.

 

[Encouragesome1]

Think nowadays most people have too much unrealistic expectations. Want too much beyond own ability. Worse is own self not capable but expect others to provide alot. End up become a toxic leech. Then jjww why the other party cannot provide. Never look self in the mirror what have self become.

Generally think for a couple, if own self not even capable of having. Should not expect the other party to provide too much. The other party capable want to do, its their generosity and love. Don't want to do its their right.

Mostly agreed on most of yr points. A mah has a point to jjww abt rights here. I feel when both r in a marriage they give up their rights as me , my, for ownself …
and they each now must strive for rights of both as if One. As much as a person want for his own freedom, her rights and free will.. they must give up “me first” and think “we”first. That’s the meaning of a husband -wife.

When one demand, then one is the leech.

If just an ordinary person. Should know own position in life. Live simple. Know one limit, what can have, and what cannot have. Don't always hope to find someone and expect the other party provide. When both come together, both bring together their resources to live better. Not one leech on the other in order for one to live better.

Each contribute their own. To make their life better. A good gauge if the relationship is true is when both feel they want to improve themselves for the other party. Love is two way. Not one sided. If there is a leech in the relationship. Think the relationship won't be happy much one, may not even last long. Something have to give, and the leech will not be satisfied one, will move on when cannot get what want.

 

[Encouragesome1]

53 我的老板是张琦发布了一篇小红书笔记，快来看吧！ z0cBKqKlIEnWOPk http://xhslink.com/a/VPXjMGd3ZeIcb，复制本条信息，打开【小红书】App查看精彩内容！

I guess this is a good summary of how relationship should work. At least it aligns to my values.

I think the sharing reflects the economic realities of marriages today so that’s why many high income ladies don’t want to be bound to marriages , many Tiong guys can’t find the one they want to marry

 

[IAmChiobu12M]

Think nowadays most people have too much unrealistic expectations. Want too much beyond own ability. Worse is own self not capable but expect others to provide alot. End up become a toxic leech. Then jjww why the other party cannot provide. Never look self in the mirror what have self become.

Generally think for a couple, if own self not even capable of having. Should not expect the other party to provide too much. The other party capable want to do, its their generosity and love. Don't want to do its their right. When one demand, then one is the leech.

If just an ordinary person. Should know own position in life. Live simple. Know one limit, what can have, and what cannot have. Don't always hope to find someone and expect the other party provide. When both come together, both bring together their resources to live better. Not one leech on the other in order for one to live better.

Each contribute their own. To make their life better. A good gauge if the relationship is true is when both feel they want to improve themselves for the other party. Love is two way. Not one sided. If there is a leech in the relationship. Think the relationship won't be happy much one, may not even last long. Something have to give, and the leech will not be satisfied one, will move on when cannot get what want.

How do you define leech?

If one give emotional one give money, can you say the one take money is leech? Both just exchange something. Just an example. Like those sugar baby vs sugar daddy.

 

[dambio]

How do you define leech?

If one give emotional one give money, can you say the one take money is leech? Both just exchange something. Just an example. Like those sugar baby vs sugar daddy.

Tis type of rs is transactional n fair exchange. As long as both did their part of d bargain.

 

[Ethan_]

How do you define leech?

If one give emotional one give money, can you say the one take money is leech? Both just exchange something. Just an example. Like those sugar baby vs sugar daddy.

Erm, sugar baby and daddy is it really a relationship, or more like a transaction? Think true relationship, loving relationship that is, is when both grow together. Not simply one taking from the other.

 

[XiaoChilli]

Erm, sugar baby and daddy is it really a relationship, or more like a transaction? Think true relationship, loving relationship that is, is when both grow together. Not simply one taking from the other.

Both will sacrifice bah..
Imagine the woman give the guy kids, but the guy still thinking everythg die die must go on dutch.
Got who measure the discomfort of 39 weeks of pregnancy and the intangible costs of pregnancy which includes the woman losing shape.
Want to calculate everythg is hard to sustain a relationship.

 

[FTM-FTF-FTP!]

Been seeing a lot thread about relationships or girls wanting too much etc.
So I'm curious what's the benchmark? And what's the point of having a relationship or even marriage or even family.
Girls keep saying girl power and we deserve better, hence we should have high standards and daringly demand but if men are not buying it is pointless. It takes 2 person to agree to come together.
Similarly, a lot single bbfa always say they wish to have a girl even hiew them. Yet there are another camp keep say rs is burden, single is best.
And honestly at this stage and even as a female, I also think rs are quite pointless. Even if the best piak, strongest passion, thickest love will also eventually withers.
And having said that, I'm sure many, (at least in sg context), people are not even happy in a rs but why they stay on? Caz bto lor. We are in an environment where housing keep pricing us out so to catch up, many decided to play the bto game by getting someone, if not single need wait 35yo.
And doesn't mean ballot will get too. While resale is so expensive. Let alone private properties.
But even those who successfully attached or married end up also have other problems. Guys scared wear green hats or WC, girls scared end up nothing and become single mother suffer.
Lai edmwers, give your wisdom on this endless loop.

Meimei want BTO with moi ma?