hiring helper or nursing home?

8zaoyu

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If do too much housework, will neglect yr already stroke / dementia parents leh.
you have define housework, elderly care or child care.
 

Medicated Oil

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If can afford, send your old man to nursing home so that you can focus on your own life and your mum.
Your old man will be well taken care.
If you employed a helper, you need to monitor your old man and the helper.
It is not that straight forward.
 

8zaoyu

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I read the website still no uds. Can ask them cook n mop floor?:(
When you interview ready maids, they will always say yes.
Ours got put in the family clothes into washer, hang them, mop hers with Ahma 's room, wash dishes n kitchen/ toilets . We always do our duties too. Not when the Elderly needs constant supervision sometimes at night too.
If not nice to them, you kanna addition to your food, all yr equipment "ping, pong, piang"
 

born2fly

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My mom suffer a fracture after a fall and was wheelchair bound. We hired a helper which was the best option as we could still engage her and talk to her everyday when we are home and wheel her out from time to time.
Of course we did some alteration with her room like hospital movable recline bed and toilets wheelchair friendly adjustment which are very economical or you can get second hands from neighbourhood assistance
Discuss with all your family members also.
 

Steyr69

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Yeah I was happy when the government announced they going to increase the Home Care Giving Grant to $600 from $400 but end up need to wait until next year while GST increase already hit bad on COL this year... :cry:

Yeah mine case option 1.. I ownself take care of my mum when WFH part-time (adhoc)... :sick:

Same boat here.
To add, I also have dementia dad. My sis is of no help as she just want to push everything to me.
My mum is 60kg, no joke to carry here to n fro commode and wheelchair.
My lower back injured liao
Change diapers, shower, makan....etc.
A lot of ppl will think is easy job....that's because they never experience first hand before.
365 days no rest...and I had been doing for 4 years.
Yes, I lost my temper a few times...I tell my mum I wish she and dad can just die asap.

I don't see any silver lining. I see many in their 50s, already enjoying their years...but me.....
I also want to go travel around the world. To see the world before I die.
Probably the fortunate thing is Im not married and no kids, if not will have another set of problems.
 

Godeau

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Nursing home because your house probably lacks the space or equipment to properly manage a stroke patient(unless he is perm bedridden). You hire a fdw specifically just for looking after a stroke patient which might require lifting said person, don't expect the fdw to do daily housework etc. Confirm run away one.
 

focus1974

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If same house hold more than 1 helper will have additional levy?

i donno. but don't care. additional levy is still cheap for full time 24/7 stay in helper.

just need to ask them do shift rotation. lol. I'll give them night shift allowance

12hour shift daily!
 

BlackWing1977

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Same boat here.
To add, I also have dementia dad. My sis is of no help as she just want to push everything to me.
My mum is 60kg, no joke to carry here to n fro commode and wheelchair.
My lower back injured liao
Change diapers, shower, makan....etc.
A lot of ppl will think is easy job....that's because they never experience first hand before.
365 days no rest...and I had been doing for 4 years.
Yes, I lost my temper a few times...I tell my mum I wish she and dad can just die asap.

I don't see any silver lining. I see many in their 50s, already enjoying their years...but me.....
I also want to go travel around the world. To see the world before I die.
Probably the fortunate thing is Im not married and no kids, if not will have another set of problems.
Dun remind me... I last night middle of night my mum call for me woke me up says she want to pang sai... then bring her to pang sai, clean up after her.. then have to change the dressing on her toe as it got wet... then sleep for 2 hours.. she called me again.. end up this time she lao sai all in the diaper.. then have to repeat the whole process over again... then later sleep another 2 hours wake me up again say she want to go to living room to sit... I almost whole night never properly sleep....

bubu-dudu-sseeyall.gif


My mum is wheelchair bound plus dementia and diabetic with several toes amputated that is why unable to walk and stand up by herself.
 

Lss

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i donno. but don't care. additional levy is still cheap for full time 24/7 stay in helper.

just need to ask them do shift rotation. lol. I'll give them night shift allowance

12hour shift daily!
like that i think you need to hire 3, so each of them can have off day also.
 

focus1974

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like that i think you need to hire 3, so each of them can have off day also.
no need.
1 day .. i can be the one doing it.
at night.. they come back.. one of them will start doing again! .. lol

worse come to worse... additional shift allowance for no off day.
money can solve many things
 

jywy2005

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For those thinking of engaging a second FDW, the helper must stay under the same address as the employer in order to enjoy the subsided rate for maid levy. Otherwise need to pay more than $300. Note that the employer cannot be suffering from dementia.

As a sponsor, need to have annual income of more than $50K. Guess cheaper then sending to nursing home.

I am in the process of getting a second helper to look after my elderly parents (Parkinson & stroke) respectively. I asked my current helper to get her sister to come over to work. Hope this will minimise any conflicts.
 

arsenalfc85

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Dun remind me... I last night middle of night my mum call for me woke me up says she want to pang sai... then bring her to pang sai, clean up after her.. then have to change the dressing on her toe as it got wet... then sleep for 2 hours.. she called me again.. end up this time she lao sai all in the diaper.. then have to repeat the whole process over again... then later sleep another 2 hours wake me up again say she want to go to living room to sit... I almost whole night never properly sleep....

bubu-dudu-sseeyall.gif


My mum is wheelchair bound plus dementia and diabetic with several toes amputated that is why unable to walk and stand up by herself.
Tough on you bro

ur case seems even more challenging than mine

jiayou
 

arsenalfc85

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Same boat here.
To add, I also have dementia dad. My sis is of no help as she just want to push everything to me.
My mum is 60kg, no joke to carry here to n fro commode and wheelchair.
My lower back injured liao
Change diapers, shower, makan....etc.
A lot of ppl will think is easy job....that's because they never experience first hand before.
365 days no rest...and I had been doing for 4 years.
Yes, I lost my temper a few times...I tell my mum I wish she and dad can just die asap.

I don't see any silver lining. I see many in their 50s, already enjoying their years...but me.....
I also want to go travel around the world. To see the world before I die.
Probably the fortunate thing is Im not married and no kids, if not will have another set of problems.
Agree

only people who are also caregivers will understand

other people who are not in the same situation will never understand

caregivers grumble a bit, then other ppl will judge u and say u unfilial la, your parents took care of u when u were a baby, now a bit u grumble

they don’t understand, taking care of elderly is more challenging than baby.

elderly are much bigger in size than babies.
also elderly misbehave , also cannot scold them. While babies become smarter and more independent as time goes by, elderly’s condition will only go downhill and get tougher.

That’s why I believe most caregivers are very lonely. Cuz nobody wants to help them. Nobody wants to be part of or share the load with the caregiver.
 

NextDoorAuntie

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Helper need to make sure they are emotionally well, make sure they no boyfwen, overcome the language barrier, train them, etc… sometimes quite a burden also. But if helper is good, then can be very valuable asset
 

8zaoyu

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For those thinking of engaging a second FDW, the helper must stay under the same address as the employer in order to enjoy the subsided rate for maid levy. Otherwise need to pay more than $300. Note that the employer cannot be suffering from dementia.

As a sponsor, need to have annual income of more than $50K. Guess cheaper then sending to nursing home.

I am in the process of getting a second helper to look after my elderly parents (Parkinson & stroke) respectively. I asked my current helper to get her sister to come over to work. Hope this will minimise any conflicts.
Most of these type of maids caring for elderlies do take home leaves or some just finish their two year contracts only. During between maids, MOM allowed us to have two maids together - our household incomes assessed and sufficient house space. So many FDWs in SG, so efficient the MOM applications or repatriation back home if too lousy for transfer to others. Role is also treat and care each other well during the contracted period.We employers also worked hard for our salaries to pay her as well for the well-being of our aging parents! Must interview and see how long she worked for ex-employers. Last time we did video interview so that we employers and her can view each other before she fly to SG.
 
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