A Failed Marraige

[Ruizenbarn]

Read 3 sentence I know this couple cock already.

1. Not faithful
2. Hire helper -> both strawberries who dunno how do housework

 

[StoicGuy]

Chiu picha his story later he (and maybe others) will say you are bullying him. Very typical here.

His son is special need kid and he buay song to split $300 monthly bill for treatment.

Thanks. I thought I am the only person who think there is very wrong in this story...

 

[Autumn.]

yes.. but we live base on salary. company operation profit is for business continuity purposes as business itself has its uncertainty. we have bonuses and that is for savings also in case business downturn still able to pay salary and rental. so i would say in average our income is still about the average median income only with the bonus.

consider another way on lower tax and prevent ex to ask money on this business. make a trust or even hired by ur wife.

All the more you need to send your son for professional certification that he isn’t what your ex wife claimed…

If can prove it, it shows she is doing more harm to him than good for labeling him and affecting his self esteem : self confidence with all the unnecessary classes, tuitions etc

TS should find a way to record all the gamblings.
u should be able to get custody. actually u shd get his custody. the burden to prove is on her not u. u need to take advice of any of your shrewed friends or lawyer. cant play normal way with rotten people.

please find someone shrewed. but pls dun go to clifford law. u need a CBK lawyer

 

[Autumn.]

If son go for tertiary or higher education still need give. If son go NS also still need keep giving.. NS allowance seems like acknowlege by law that it is not enough to survive. This is singapore and their woman charter. Local man really have to suck thumb if divorce. Not sure how the court can protect man. Maybe that's why our birth rate so low.. I've done my part to produce 2 sons already for the nation

No, not true. Woman's charter is strong but so long u are able to prove, the judge will reason with your side. They are no longer binded to gender woman.

Wah, may you be blessed with good things soon.
I try to put myself in your shoes and think of my options.

1. Take custody of your child. I think if you can produce proof of gamblings and irregular incomes from ex, while you have steady income and stable household, easier. This way, you cut yr ex off entirely.

2. Migrate lah if you can. Plus with your child ADHD, you have strong point - AU offer better environment for kids neurodevelopmental disorders. I met many parents with such kids, cannot cope in SG but is now happy downunder (Melbourne in this case). You doing him justice also by removing him from that toxic environment. He'll thank you later. Cost also cheaper. I have one child with dyslexia, cheaper therapy in Melb compared to SG. Therapist quality also way way above SG standard.

If the above not possible - wah last option is wait for him to turn 21 and then yr wife no excuse to claim expenses.

Do you even know that recent years australia is no longer keen to give green card if anyone is proven to have autism or ADHA or even with small spectrum?

please dun say until it is so easy to migrate. things has changed alot last 2 years and they are changing the system soon.

Currently i have friends prepared to keep their child condition under wrap for 4 years until they can get PR. it is already well known that if you are not a talent skill OZland needed, they wun give u PR if they know ur child is under spectrum. so what if the parents have green card? dun mean the Govt wll give the green card to a child that has a certain spectrum even mild ADHD

 

[kittyklysm]

Funny that O is always aware of what TS is doing including his affairs. And whether he is going on holiday etc. Anyway, O did not hide her character from TS. TS knows how she behaves before marriage, but still married her is beyond comprehension.

I also find it funny that we don't know what TS ex-wife's income is from since she no longer uses the matrimonial home as a gambling den and how she pay for all the vacation, noting that she only ask TS to split bill. Besides, I don't understand how can she sell the house and give the proceeds to her parents if the house ownership is transferred to their son. So the custody of the first son is shared or TS only has visitation rights? If TS was 100% paying for everything prior, I don't understand how did TS lose custody of his son.

smells fishy, and I hope this is just CSB.

 

[Autumn.]

cant be CSB. but i like to think there are alot people as such in singapore tho. We are generally very meek ppl when comes to dealing with sleazy people.

those smart alec people... usually are those really jiak alot of nonsense liao. Force to upgrade to be mean and scarwee.
As for HPV500, not divorce is not a good choice if sthg happens along the way. BUT more than likely it is easiest way out if the wife is as nonsense as i suspected. some people cannot talk any sense. only can wait one day she wakes up her idea and willing to talk sense

 

[hpv500]

cant be CSB. but i like to think there are alot people as such in singapore tho. We are generally very meek ppl when comes to dealing with sleazy people.

those smart alec people... usually are those really jiak alot of nonsense liao. Force to upgrade to be mean and scarwee.
As for HPV500, not divorce is not a good choice if sthg happens along the way. BUT more than likely it is easiest way out if the wife is as nonsense as i suspected. some people cannot talk any sense. only can wait one day she wakes up her idea and willing to talk sense

right on point, she is beyond reasoning....self centered, everything she has to win

 

[tokong]

Wow, looks like a sheety life.

You have married the wrong woman. Since you can't change her, divorcing her is the correct thing to do.

Marriage is both ways. It is sad that she does not have the right values, so it is very hard to make it work. Leaving her is the best route.

 

[Autumn.]

right on point, she is beyond reasoning....self centered, everything she has to win

people as such also wun have any friends in real life. I bet cfm have people told her to relent but those people also banned by her becos they dun side with her. (i have seen such people before)

also a torture to own child. BUT i always believe in 1 item control another item. so when the time comes, or not - you probably may or not have explanation to ur abandoned child. I know someone who never understood why his dad was gone one day. he is doing everything for his own child as compensation to his own childhood i feel

 

[Autumn.]

Wow, looks like a sheety life.

You have married the wrong woman. Since you can't change her, divorcing her is the correct thing to do.

Marriage is both ways. It is sad that she does not have the right values, so it is very hard to make it work. Leaving her is the best route.

likewise, woman who leave the guy before anything furthers. doesnt have to be about money

 

[krstupid]

Wow, looks like a sheety life.

You have married the wrong woman. Since you can't change her, divorcing her is the correct thing to do.

Marriage is both ways. It is sad that she does not have the right values, so it is very hard to make it work. Leaving her is the best route.

i have come to realise that even after divorce you never really leave once you have a child.
The past always haunt you.
I will say i am a good husband now and live a healthy and normal live. i cook, do almost all housework, take care of the child and earn money as well. Im doing everything because i have a great wife and family.
But it is when the past come back to haunt me im like a changed person which my wife can sense it know my ex is asking for more money again. She hates it so much that im always affected by this and became abnormal. Im still suffering depression and require medication whenever im contacted by her. Its a really terrible live to think of.
My wife and i had work damn hard for our business sleeping only 4 hours at times under immense stress and pressure when start up due to no income and now on sustaining it to a point we had 2 miscarriage due to over stress and no rest.
My ex when contact me it affects my work, my lives, my family, my child and everything. I am damn weak and finally decide to fight back this time no matter what. Im not willing to give up what my wife and i had suffer to gain and let her and my younger son suffer.

 

[qhong61]

Not scolding you lah! Just feel sorry for you, you need to take back your life! We only live once, so live it well from today onwards! Take back whats yours and dont back down!

The eldest son also his

 

[Skywalker19777]

Yr whole life will be hold ranson. My advice is break contact with yr child and give whatever family court decide.

 

[Skywalker19777]

Wah, may you be blessed with good things soon.
I try to put myself in your shoes and think of my options.

1. Take custody of your child. I think if you can produce proof of gamblings and irregular incomes from ex, while you have steady income and stable household, easier. This way, you cut yr ex off entirely.

2. Migrate lah if you can. Plus with your child ADHD, you have strong point - AU offer better environment for kids neurodevelopmental disorders. I met many parents with such kids, cannot cope in SG but is now happy downunder (Melbourne in this case). You doing him justice also by removing him from that toxic environment. He'll thank you later. Cost also cheaper. I have one child with dyslexia, cheaper therapy in Melb compared to SG. Therapist quality also way way above SG standard.

If the above not possible - wah last option is wait for him to turn 21 and then yr wife no excuse to claim expenses.

My child is 25 this year and still claiming maintenance

 

[Dividends]

So many red flags before marriage and you still chose to marry her.

 

[XcoVar]

My child is 25 this year and still claiming maintenance

Can I say you're paying maintenance becos your kid still wishes to continue his/her study?

 

[krstupid]

My child is 25 this year and still claiming maintenance

Claim by your kid since after 21 already ah. child claim from parents even not divorce the kid also can claim from both parents in court if he want to further study or in NS right?
This is a really mess up law to allow kids that dont wan to work and just keep studying leeching off parents.
i guess mine will be taught to be this way also in future.

 

[pushtopen]

Not to mention that i still able to have an affair.. but that was when i was earning little more.
when paying renovation loan no need pay child maintenance. Im able to save quite a bit as its a habit and never borrow to spend as well, complete opposite with my ex.
was threaten that if mentioned house use as gambling den then my baby will not have a house to stay anymore and he will suffer. divorce proceeding was crafted according to what she allow me to write or she will just drag on as long as possible to burn more money on my end as i need to pay for both side of the lawyer fee.
i have a business now run together with my wife. We somehow make ends meet. she was with me when i do not have anything and we build everything together and support each other.
It is important to find the right woman for marriage. I was stupid to continue a toxic marriage. Before marriage everything was promised to be better and not like how it supposed to be. All i ever wanted was a simple family live thats all which is what i have now. Rich or poor doesnt matter and live within means.
Thank you everyone for chipping in. I will be meeting my lawyer for advice and next step as well.

just watch the world burn

bring up the gambling den stuff, pretty sure you got good chance of getting custody

all I can say is you not very smart to contest the proceedings and in a way you get what you deserve

I find that it's a miracle you can afford to drive on a 4k salary. jskm. either legit baller or nice compo, no in-between


Read HWZ Forum Rules!

 

[dilphinus]

His son is special need kid and he buay song to split $300 monthly bill for treatment.

Thanks. I thought I am the only person who think there is very wrong in this story...

Just to clarify, I couldn't be bother with his story so I'm not the other person who thinks the same as you that there's something wrong with his story.

His story got anything wrong or not, I can't be bothered.

 

[Capitalist]

My child is 25 this year and still claiming maintenance

Huh?

He/she study so long ah?

"In Singapore, children are entitled to financial support from their biological parents until the age of 21. However, maintenance orders may be extended for children above the age of 21 under certain circumstances- such as if they are pursuing their tertiary education or undergoing national service."

https://www.singaporedivorcelawyer.com.sg/child-maintenance/