A Failed Marraige

[Lukiose]

this is a good read for guys who get pressured into making decisions when u already knew things won't work out

Really reads like a bad fanfiction
playboy 0% brain power 100% kkb power
Make bad decisions one after another and keep digging deeper and deeper hole/grave

idk anything constructive to say other than lol

 

[coyote]

Really need ts to summarize... The paragraphs are damages 99999x.

 

[uni_user]

Strict budgeting and thats why i cant give any extra also.
3200 take home
- 700 maintenance
- 400 utilities, internet, hp, subscription
- 300 smoke
- 500 small one childcare
- 300 small one expenses
- 350 season parking home and office (other car expenses by company)
- 500 food and expenses
- balance saving and others

no insurance ?

 

[fishsan]

dont like that lah, from TS's story, u know that he is very desperate, if not he wont seek help from a forum lah. Im sure there are much more info that TS never say

OK, I will give TS some advice.

Just because the ex-wife submits receipt to you doesn't mean you die die need to pay. She's not a judge and she has no legal power over you. What you legally must pay is recorded in the Maintenance Order.

To get more maintenance, she will need to apply for variation of the maintenance order. Or you can also apply for the variation of maintenance order if you want to reduce the amount of maintenance. The court will decide what is fair given the change in your circumstances/her circumstances/child's circumstances.

Hire a lawyer who will advise you what to do to vary the maintenance order. And this time, listen to your lawyer. Don't just anyhow agree. All your problems started because you anyhow agree to other people. Spending money on the lawyer now can possibly save you more money in the future. Asking on online forums is not really going to help.

 

[krstupid]

And also setup and operate a company

yes.. but we live base on salary. company operation profit is for business continuity purposes as business itself has its uncertainty. we have bonuses and that is for savings also in case business downturn still able to pay salary and rental. so i would say in average our income is still about the average median income only with the bonus.

 

[krstupid]

OK, I will give TS some advice.

Just because the ex-wife submits receipt to you doesn't mean you die die need to pay. She's not a judge and she has no legal power over you. What you legally must pay is recorded in the Maintenance Order.

To get more maintenance, she will need to apply for variation of the maintenance order. Or you can also apply for the variation of maintenance order if you want to reduce the amount of maintenance. The court will decide what is fair given the change in your circumstances/her circumstances/child's circumstances.

Hire a lawyer who will advise you what to do to vary the maintenance order. And this time, listen to your lawyer. Spending money on the lawyer now can possibly save you more money in the future. Asking on online forums is not really going to help.

thank you.. will heed this advice

 

[Coffeelix]

Strict budgeting and thats why i cant give any extra also.
3200 take home
- 700 maintenance
- 400 utilities, internet, hp, subscription
- 300 smoke
- 500 small one childcare
- 300 small one expenses
- 350 season parking home and office (other car expenses by company)
- 500 food and expenses
- balance saving and others

I applaud you for not taking the ez way out by giving up on your son…

but leaving him in such toxic environment is indirectly destroying him…

Quit smoking will be to your advantage as you will need to use your son’s home environment of smoking and gambling which is detrimental to your son’s well being and healthy.

You may want to get professional to certify he is being neglected and the toxic environment is the cause of his “special need”… or the mom neglect has led to his slow progress n development…

Slowly work with professionals to see how to use it to get your son out of there, as he will become the product of his environment … remember your wife was a product of her parents environment…

Evidently:
Gambling den is non conducive for a young child
Smoking : detrimental to his health : possibly of leading to cancer
Mom delegated her role to helper and son suffers with poor developmental growth etc

Show proof that you will be able to provide a conducive and loving environment for him to grow up…

your present wife must shower him with lots of attention n love so he will want opt to go With you… let him feel the love of a family, let him become close to your younger son, so he can feel attach to your family… include your parents to spend time with him…

Hope you can see what I see.

He is literally living in a casino …

Obviously your ex wife wanted your life to be miserable and broke at the expense of your son is my fear…

 

[krstupid]

no insurance ?

cpf deduction and also 1 year pay once type for cash which use bonus to pay not under monthly expenditure. child insurance all wife take care of.

 

[Unic0rn]

I read that you had a kid with your ex wife and than you had an affair and now with another lady?

 

[hpv500]

what little different you done can let me know? im looking for all kind of solution and option while waiting for my lawyer as well.

maybe i just summarized abit on my story, mine is also quite long winded

- my ex-wife and I were married in 2013 as well

- alot of things I gave in to her due to loving her, knowing the red flags but still going ahead with the marriage
- after married, BTO not ready, have to stay with my parents

- she disrespect my parents, raised her voice at them, no manners of any sort

- never do housechores/cooking (as she was pampered by her dad previously, her dad does all the household chores, which resulting her mum does nothing at home too)

- originally thinking that maybe we have a baby together and she would change for the better (being a mum should be mature enough)

- but i was wrong, she became worse, became unreasonable, pulling all sorts of requests, disturbing me during my work time

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was once in a big quarrel with her, until I almost jumped out from my kitchen window.

That night made me think thru everything, she is not worth my effort to maintain the relationship.

At this point of time, the baby is only 2 months old.

I made a decision to leave the house, leaving the country.

I went overseas and decided to leave for good, but COVID had to come, and i was "forced" to come back to this sinkieland, I was away for 2 years before COVID striked

I changed my contact number and everything else so she couldnt find me

I stayed away from contacting her and my baby.

And now she is staying at the BTO we had previously booked, and the monthly repayment is from my CPF.

I dont give a h**t about her at all, knowing her pattern and her mum's, my baby will grow up to be like them.

I decided to gave up my baby's custody as well.

Now I am free, but the world would think that I did wrong cos i 抛妻弃子

 

[krstupid]

I applaud you for not taking the ez way out by giving up on your son…

but leaving him in such toxic environment is indirectly destroying him…

Quit smoking will be to your advantage as you will need to use your son’s home environment of smoking and gambling which is detrimental to your son’s well being and healthy.

You may want to get professional to certify he is being neglected and the toxic environment is the cause of his “special need”… or the mom neglect has led to his slow progress n development…

Slowly work with professionals to see how to use it to get your son out of there, as he will become the product of his environment … remember your wife was a product of her parents environment…

Evidently:
Gambling den is non conducive for a young child
Smoking : detrimental to his health : possibly of leading to cancer
Mom delegated her role to helper and son suffers with poor developmental growth etc

Show proof that you will be able to provide a conducive and loving environment for him to grow up…

your present wife must shower him with lots of attention n love so he will want opt to go With you… let him feel the love of a family, let him become close to your younger son, so he can feel attach to your family… include your parents to spend time with him…

Hope you can see what I see.

He is literally living in a casino …

Obviously your ex wife wanted your life to be miserable and broke at the expense of your son is my fear…

i dont think my son has any special needs.. he is just at the age of playing too much games and only do things that interest him or he jus day dream sometimes. other than that he is still a outgoing boy that enjoy outdoor activities. he goes hiking with me, go museum and ask questions and explore different places with me all without any problem at all. i do love him and dont think he has any problem at all. He is doing fine and quite well in his studies too. Only problem i have with him is that he does not know how to do any housework or anything of such as everything is taken care by the helper rendering him a typical spoilt child.

 

[krstupid]

I read that you had a kid with your ex wife and than you had an affair and now with another lady?

yes.. a complete asshole i know.. i was weak that time.. real weak..

 

[week3nd]

maybe i just summarized abit on my story, mine is also quite long winded

- my ex-wife and I were married in 2013 as well

- alot of things I gave in to her due to loving her, knowing the red flags but still going ahead with the marriage
- after married, BTO not ready, have to stay with my parents

- she disrespect my parents, raised her voice at them, no manners of any sort

- never do housechores/cooking (as she was pampered by her dad previously, her dad does all the household chores, which resulting her mum does nothing at home too)

- originally thinking that maybe we have a baby together and she would change for the better (being a mum should be mature enough)

- but i was wrong, she became worse, became unreasonable, pulling all sorts of requests, disturbing me during my work time

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was once in a big quarrel with her, until I almost jumped out from my kitchen window.

That night made me think thru everything, she is not worth my effort to maintain the relationship.

At this point of time, the baby is only 2 months old.

I made a decision to leave the house, leaving the country.

I went overseas and decided to leave for good, but COVID had to come, and i was "forced" to come back to this sinkieland

I changed my contact number and everything else so she couldnt find me

I stayed away from contacting her and my baby.

And now she is staying at the BTO we had previously booked, and the monthly repayment is from my CPF.

I dont give a h**t about her at all, knowing her pattern and her mum's, my baby will grow up to be like them.

I decided to gave up my baby's custody as well.

Now I am free, but the world would think that I did wrong cos i 抛妻弃子

The moral of all these stories... thinking that having kids will help but it always makes things more complicated

 

[Coffeelix]

i dont think my son has any special needs.. he is just at the age of playing too much games and only do things that interest him or he jus day dream sometimes. other than that he is still a outgoing boy that enjoy outdoor activities. he goes hiking with me, go museum and ask questions and explore different places with me all without any problem at all. i do love him and dont think he has any problem at all. He is doing fine and quite well in his studies too. Only problem i have with him is that he does not know how to do any housework or anything of such as everything is taken care by the helper rendering him a typical spoilt child.

There is a chance that your son will grow up to be like his mom : product of the environment: casino

What if he grows up to like gambling too and you will have more headaches if he goes to you for $

 

[krstupid]

maybe i just summarized abit on my story, mine is also quite long winded

- my ex-wife and I were married in 2013 as well

- alot of things I gave in to her due to loving her, knowing the red flags but still going ahead with the marriage
- after married, BTO not ready, have to stay with my parents

- she disrespect my parents, raised her voice at them, no manners of any sort

- never do housechores/cooking (as she was pampered by her dad previously, her dad does all the household chores, which resulting her mum does nothing at home too)

- originally thinking that maybe we have a baby together and she would change for the better (being a mum should be mature enough)

- but i was wrong, she became worse, became unreasonable, pulling all sorts of requests, disturbing me during my work time

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was once in a big quarrel with her, until I almost jumped out from my kitchen window.

That night made me think thru everything, she is not worth my effort to maintain the relationship.

At this point of time, the baby is only 2 months old.

I made a decision to leave the house, leaving the country.

I went overseas and decided to leave for good, but COVID had to come, and i was "forced" to come back to this sinkieland, I was away for 2 years before COVID striked

I changed my contact number and everything else so she couldnt find me

I stayed away from contacting her and my baby.

And now she is staying at the BTO we had previously booked, and the monthly repayment is from my CPF.

I dont give a h**t about her at all, knowing her pattern and her mum's, my baby will grow up to be like them.

I decided to gave up my baby's custody as well.

Now I am free, but the world would think that I did wrong cos i 抛妻弃子

We learnt 1 way or another.. but it's better to do a clean cut. Though it will sure be a terrible process. U may get sued for all kind of things this way which maybe worse of she get those advice.

 

[hpv500]

nowadays when pple ask me for advice on marriage, i would always tell them, check for red flags first

dont be stupid to think that you can tahan all the ******** for whole life

if there are things that your spouse do, and you are not happy about, there is no point tolerating it and keeping it, thinking that it will not affect u, its the mental health

2 persons being together, must share the same life goals, different routes in life will eventually end up in divorce

 

[Unic0rn]

yes.. a complete asshole i know.. i was weak that time.. real weak..

I completely understand you, you are human after all. Everyone makes mistakes and have their reasons for doing so. I was weak too and my weakness are pretty cute chiobu with nice front and rear but I’ve managed to exercise restraint and control after practicing for 25 years

 

[yokine3a]

Didn't finish reading, too long, so I read 1 line jump 1 line.

My summary is, 一步错, 步步错.

Hope you are now strong and able to pull thru all this, take care.

 

[hpv500]

We learnt 1 way or another.. but it's better to do a clean cut. Though it will sure be a terrible process. U may get sued for all kind of things this way which maybe worse of she get those advice.

1 thing I learnt from this, technically she and I can file for divorce due to separation more than 4 years, which will eventually end up in divorce

but both of us are not willing to pay for the court/lawyer fees etc, thats why I dont even want to care about her now

My thinking is, since you want to make my life difficult, i shall make yours worse, now she is struggling with my baby, now P1 alr. Let her feel the life of a single mum

 

[xiaozhi86]

Hi TS, actually why you need put up with your ex wife? She ask for money just reject. I believe the child maintenance is 50-50 meaning you and your ex-wife so call pay 700 each to support. 1.4k to support a child still not enough? Medicial condition just go polyclinic/gov hospital and i believe it does not cost in region of even high 3 figure.

You can apply for court order to reduce the maintenance fee if not wrong since you already have family. Just go hire lawyer to draft out. Should be 3-4k to settle at mediation stage. Go court will start with mediation session with judge. Can be a pretty mental draining but that the legal way to go about. If you want, can PM me since i also go thru abit like you