A Failed Marraige

[articland05]

maybe i just summarized abit on my story, mine is also quite long winded

- my ex-wife and I were married in 2013 as well

- alot of things I gave in to her due to loving her, knowing the red flags but still going ahead with the marriage
- after married, BTO not ready, have to stay with my parents

- she disrespect my parents, raised her voice at them, no manners of any sort

- never do housechores/cooking (as she was pampered by her dad previously, her dad does all the household chores, which resulting her mum does nothing at home too)

- originally thinking that maybe we have a baby together and she would change for the better (being a mum should be mature enough)

- but i was wrong, she became worse, became unreasonable, pulling all sorts of requests, disturbing me during my work time

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I was once in a big quarrel with her, until I almost jumped out from my kitchen window.

That night made me think thru everything, she is not worth my effort to maintain the relationship.

At this point of time, the baby is only 2 months old.

I made a decision to leave the house, leaving the country.

I went overseas and decided to leave for good, but COVID had to come, and i was "forced" to come back to this sinkieland, I was away for 2 years before COVID striked

I changed my contact number and everything else so she couldnt find me

I stayed away from contacting her and my baby.

And now she is staying at the BTO we had previously booked, and the monthly repayment is from my CPF.

I dont give a h**t about her at all, knowing her pattern and her mum's, my baby will grow up to be like them.

I decided to gave up my baby's custody as well.

Now I am free, but the world would think that I did wrong cos i 抛妻弃子

but even give up custody u still need to pay alimony for the child until 21yo right?

 

[mcylo]

ts notch faithful... ex-waifu gambler...

This is a good summary

 

[hpv500]

but even give up custody u still need to pay alimony for the child until 21yo right?

thats why i never did the divorce procedure

she got no ways to find me

technically we are still legally married

i only paid the BTO instalment via CPF, which in a way cheaper than whatever alimony sh*t

she cant sell the BTO flat without me as well....I shall see who can outlast longer

 

[MoeLanYong]

Yes.. it is my fault for still end up going ahead. useless and stupid..
until i met my current wife and understand how a relationship should and family life is suppose to be.. she also dont understand what i kind of person i am in the past to go tru all these as she comes from a very normal family.

Yes I have a friend who pak tor for 9 years. In the end, she chose out. Because cannot. She eventually found another guy and got married. Is happier now.

I also have friends who after dating >7 years, feel cannot but decided to just go ahead. Got married. In the end, unhappy. Divorced.

Marriage has to be a correct match. It is not about speed, who get BTO first. Do it wrong, it is very painful to unwind. Set yourself back 10 years

 

[Ambergris]

Get video evidence of your wife and the in-law's family gambling obsessions, then claim custodian of your child as that home environment of gambling and smoking is unhealthy for the child, also the family's obsession of visiting Casinos.

 

[Coffeelix]

i dont think my son has any special needs.. he is just at the age of playing too much games and only do things that interest him or he jus day dream sometimes. other than that he is still a outgoing boy that enjoy outdoor activities. he goes hiking with me, go museum and ask questions and explore different places with me all without any problem at all. i do love him and dont think he has any problem at all. He is doing fine and quite well in his studies too. Only problem i have with him is that he does not know how to do any housework or anything of such as everything is taken care by the helper rendering him a typical spoilt child.

All the more you need to send your son for professional certification that he isn’t what your ex wife claimed…

If can prove it, it shows she is doing more harm to him than good for labeling him and affecting his self esteem : self confidence with all the unnecessary classes, tuitions etc

 

[Capitalist]

a bit hard. basically ex wife asking for more money for child maintenance to a point affect my current marraige and live. can ready in details will be much better as summarize may not be fair to the story.

Just finished reading all your posts.

Whilst I am not able to fully comprehend your plight, I do feel for you.

Hope things will get better.

Jiayou!

 

[articland05]

thats why i never did the divorce procedure

waaa...like that u r at a disadvantage

since u r away from hm if ur wife wanted to can initiate a one sided divorce. after X number of yrs the divorce will take effect....cant recall the details

 

[Unic0rn]

Being males is very difficult with the open society and females wearing more and more openly. Can they make females wear long sleeves business shirt with tie and long business pants with socks and leather shoes?

 

[hpv500]

waaa...like that u r at a disadvantage

since u r away from hm if ur wife wanted to can initiate a one sided divorce. after X number of yrs the divorce will take effect....cant recall the details

nah, i am not at any disadvantage other than I cant get married again (which I dont want to anyway)

she cant do sh*t without my existence

now she has to raise my baby singlehandedly, she doesnt have the means to file for any divorce, and she dont even know how to

 

[Lolile]

1 thing I learnt from this, technically she and I can file for divorce due to separation more than 4 years, which will eventually end up in divorce

but both of us are not willing to pay for the court/lawyer fees etc, thats why I dont even want to care about her now

My thinking is, since you want to make my life difficult, i shall make yours worse, now she is struggling with my baby, now P1 alr. Let her feel the life of a single mum

From love to hatred
No choice since she’s toxic but feel sorry for your baby .

Has this experience make you avoid relationships?

 

[articland05]

nah, i am not at any disadvantage other than I cant get married again (which I dont want to anyway)

she cant do sh*t without my existence

cos chiu lucky she didnt take any further actions so everything still peaceful...

 

[NeonX]

so many red flags yet you went ahead. Know when to be hard hearted, if she told me i can never see my son again, i would be so happy i will host a party. All maintenance etc i would've fought with her, not happy go court argue

 

[hpv500]

cos chiu lucky she didnt take any further actions so everything still peaceful...

actually i wish she did something, until now nothing

 

[articland05]

this thread is failed marriage while another thread is discussing abt getting marriage...

such a contrast

 

[hpv500]

From love to hatred
No choice since she’s toxic but feel sorry for your baby .

Has this experience make you avoid relationships?

nope, i have been with a few others after, pretty good actually, but i dont have intention to settle down anymore

 

[wooooot]

that's why strictly no marriage, don't get pwn by wc

 

[gnowyx]

from what i read, seems like you are a wishy washy undecisive kind of guy

unfortunately if you are not firm, or hold your ground on what you believe is correct, you will only get taken advantage of

i think it is time to be a man instead of wallowing in your troubles

 

[footi3]

the red flag was at the start liao..
when you said she had a lot of points for MBS stay

 

[li9ht5peed]

i would have huat to the moon if i were you TS. she is a great woman but you are not the right guy. anybody with your ex-wive's personality will never be poor