Childless Marriage

[AS Roma]

Good discussion thread, this..

Personally, on the broadest level, I don't really see it as a "Pros and Cons of having a childless marriage" but rather more of a "Pros of a childless marriage vs Pros of a marriage with children".

I have 2 children and my sister is in a childless marriage. So I can see very clearly what both sides entail.

Being parents to a set of young children is a tiring, frustrating, sometimes even hopeless experience. But the joys are mostly indescribable. It's just like scoring a goal in football - you can describe your joy until the cows come home, but until you experience it for yourself, you wouldn't know how best to describe it for someone who has never scored a goal in his life.

It's just the experience that makes it a growth process, for your children, your spouse as much as for yourself. As your children grow, your parenting style grows, you as a human being grows, and you see how your family grows. It's difficult to describe in detail.. if pressed for a very simple description, I will just say this - having children puts you into another phase of life that just seems so natural to your very existence. Yes, you can be childless and enjoy all the finer things in life - go for the longest holidays, spend like a king, have all the freedom you want as and when you feel like it - but at the end of the day, you and your marriage or your relationship with your spouse might grow, but it will never be able to grow at a level or as naturally as you grow as a human being while watching or guiding your children to grow up. Yes, I have used the word "grow" so many times, but I guess the keyword is still that - growth. You grow, your spouse grows, your children grows, and beautifully, your family grows together and grows into each other. This I guess is something that a childless marriage can never experience.

But the grass is always greener on the other side la.. every night when my 3 year old son beckons me into his room again in the middle of the night to ask me to switch on his Disney car night light so that he won't have to be scared of monsters, grumpy me will moan and groan.. my childless marriage friends jio me go out on Friday night for guy time and drinks, I always have to say no..

 

[Leave No Men Behind]

AS Roma. All these are growing stages in life. If just 2 persons, I think abit is bo yi si. Imho. Which many ppl can experience, but not growing family. My take is parents birth us. We continue possible. Like wise, ,you will love ur children to do so.this is confirmed. Wat is 10 yrs? By then ur children already 13+? Cheers. If they provide for us future, is bonus. Otherwise is fine. Cos is not like last time.cheers again! Children is not want means have. God gift, I believe

 

[AS Roma]

Tiagong those who genuinely don't want kids are those with extreme bad childhood

While those boh chewren one but give excuse say Sinkieland cost of living high n stressful so don't want kids, are those got fertility issues

Issit true?

Many parents said before that couples who don't want kids give many reasons (don't want to bring them up in this stressful environment / don't like kids / no money / want to spend more time with themselves / quality of life / etc etc).. but these are all excuses. There is only one reason why perfectly capable couples choose not to have children - they lack the courage to do so. The thought of stress, only giving them the best if not don't give, don't know where to start becoming like parents, having to become "parents" instead of pigging their lives away.. all these are signs of a lack of courage. Scared of responsibility. Scared of change. Scared of bringing a child up into this frankly fearful world. Scared of transcending into REAL adulthood, parenting problems and all. One word - scared.

That's what they all say la. Personally, I think it's a lifestyle choice. I also scared when my wife got pregnant for the first time. Like what they say, there is a part of every man that the boy inside never dies or never wants to die. That's why being a father is so daunting. But once a newborn is delivered into this world, your whole perception of live changes. You become brave. You become hungry and motivated. You become more YOU.

 

[fortunecat]

The bundle of joy keep u all going forward. It will overcome materials etc.
Anywayz earn a lot also unless, end of the day, will happy? Wprk hard for???? Go liao also cannot bring go

Why won't happy? It's how you live your life. You die can bring your children with you? It's the same.

Sent from Mars using GAGT

 

[Leave No Men Behind]

Why won't happy? It's how you live your life. You die can bring your children with you? It's the same.

Sent from Mars using GAGT

Hi ok. One man meat is another man de poison. Cheers. Happy can liao

 

[fortunecat]

Hi ok. One man meat is another man de poison. Cheers. Happy can liao

Ya. I dun deny children can bring happiness to many, but it's not confirmed. Many people also hope they never give birth to their basta*d children at all.

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[Leave No Men Behind]

Ya. I dun deny children can bring happiness to many, but it's not confirmed. Many people also hope they never give birth to their basta*d children at all.

Sent from Mars using GAGT

Life a gamble. Do best can liao. Me chao peasant

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[chrisss]

i agree having kids is a joyous process
and im sure many here are proud parents of their kids





but please make sure your kids behave in public instead of a farktard

 

[AS Roma]

but please make sure your kids behave in public instead of a farktard

Which parent want their children to behave like a farktard in public?

Respectfully, talk is easier said than done.. talk is free. Some children behave like idiots in public, parents really don't seem to be doing anything, then gossip will start.. "Why these parents so bo chup.. why they don't discipline.."

Talk is cheap. Hasn't it occured to some non-parents that they are probably way past the discipline stage and are into the "I'm too tired to care" phase.. they KNOW it's a nuisance.. but CAN they do anything about it, DO THEY HAVE THE ENERGY to do anything about it, and whether they know EVEN IF THEY DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT WILL THE KID LISTEN is an entirely different matter..

Fun and joy of being a parent summarised in this Louis CK standup..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4u2ZsoYWwJA

 

[buffybuffy]

Which parent want their children to behave like a farktard in public?

Respectfully, talk is easier said than done.. talk is free. Some children behave like idiots in public, parents really don't seem to be doing anything, then gossip will start.. "Why these parents so bo chup.. why they don't discipline.."

Talk is cheap. Hasn't it occured to some non-parents that they are probably way past the discipline stage and are into the "I'm too tired to care" phase.. they KNOW it's a nuisance.. but CAN they do anything about it, DO THEY HAVE THE ENERGY to do anything about it, and whether they know EVEN IF THEY DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT WILL THE KID LISTEN is an entirely different matter..

Fun and joy of being a parent summarised in this Louis CK standup..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4u2ZsoYWwJA

Some parents don't teach their kid not to touch other people.

Some parents when their kid get into trouble, they claim themselves to have headache cannot go out so cannot resolve the issue.

Some parent allow their kid to take parang go into school and slash people and still say their kid is correct.

 

[AS Roma]

Some parents don't teach their kid not to touch other people.

Some parents when their kid get into trouble, they claim themselves to have headache cannot go out so cannot resolve the issue.

Some parent allow their kid to take parang go into school and slash people and still say their kid is correct.

Ahh.. those don't say la.. it's irresponsible parenting..

 

[Leave No Men Behind]

life is short, no time go and think can or nt. 10 yrs cycle very fast. dare to chiong whatever u wan. just go

 

[fortunecat]

Which parent want their children to behave like a farktard in public?

Respectfully, talk is easier said than done.. talk is free. Some children behave like idiots in public, parents really don't seem to be doing anything, then gossip will start.. "Why these parents so bo chup.. why they don't discipline.."

Talk is cheap. Hasn't it occured to some non-parents that they are probably way past the discipline stage and are into the "I'm too tired to care" phase.. they KNOW it's a nuisance.. but CAN they do anything about it, DO THEY HAVE THE ENERGY to do anything about it, and whether they know EVEN IF THEY DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT WILL THE KID LISTEN is an entirely different matter..

Fun and joy of being a parent summarised in this Louis CK standup..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4u2ZsoYWwJA

What we want is to see the parents at least show some effort to restrain their kids and not just stand there letting them be a nuisance. The kid listen or not is another matter.

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[sunsetbay]

No kids like v boring leh~ everyday see your spouse, every week do the same thing also sian~ eventually will run out of topics or you do your own thing, she do her own shopping~

Got kids more challenge, can channel the attention to the kids~ of cse, there are many cons if u are not ready to give up your personal space~

 

[fortunecat]

No kids like v boring leh~ everyday see your spouse, every week do the same thing also sian~ eventually will run out of topics or you do your own thing, she do her own shopping~

Got kids more challenge, can channel the attention to the kids~ of cse, there are many cons if u are not ready to give up your personal space~

Yes but must make sure you really can persist on. This is a "challenge" you cannot give up halfway even if you really dun like it.

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[Leave No Men Behind]

sunset u do housework on own too right???

No kids like v boring leh~ everyday see your spouse, every week do the same thing also sian~ eventually will run out of topics or you do your own thing, she do her own shopping~

Got kids more challenge, can channel the attention to the kids~ of cse, there are many cons if u are not ready to give up your personal space~

 

[Tsoukalos]

No kids like v boring leh~ everyday see your spouse, every week do the same thing also sian~ eventually will run out of topics or you do your own thing, she do her own shopping~

Got kids more challenge, can channel the attention to the kids~ of cse, there are many cons if u are not ready to give up your personal space~

Then y dating no sian? Cause absence make heart grow fonder? So c spouse everyday will
Sian then c kids everyday no sian?

Attn all to kids? Think ish tonight 狮城有约news segment after part 1 they talk about how couples nearly divorce after having k8ds cause all attn on them.

Some1 post & sic cause some of us like mi not home to watch

 

[koja6049]

Which parent want their children to behave like a farktard in public?

Respectfully, talk is easier said than done.. talk is free. Some children behave like idiots in public, parents really don't seem to be doing anything, then gossip will start.. "Why these parents so bo chup.. why they don't discipline.."

Talk is cheap. Hasn't it occured to some non-parents that they are probably way past the discipline stage and are into the "I'm too tired to care" phase.. they KNOW it's a nuisance.. but CAN they do anything about it, DO THEY HAVE THE ENERGY to do anything about it, and whether they know EVEN IF THEY DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT WILL THE KID LISTEN is an entirely different matter..

Fun and joy of being a parent summarised in this Louis CK standup..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4u2ZsoYWwJA

then don't have kids in the first place. Should cut off their kkj as punishment and deterrent

 

[chickenpiez007]

Something not right with pro 5.......how many childless friends can one have? When u get to the age around 40+, u think u can still mix around with youngsters around 20++? U think most of your peers around 40s will not get married or will not have child?

always go for at least 1 child. no matter whether the couple wants or don't want a child.

Pro is
1) Friday night and weekend is all yours to plan for fun
2) can sleep late late, no need to bother about child bedtime
3) can eat all the junk food, anytime, any place without worrying about setting bad example for the child
4) all your money is spent on yourself
5) got more time to hang out with your childless friends

Con is
1) people will ask u about it during CNY
2) people will say you two got problem behind your back
3) no sucker to take care of you, provided you know how to raise a child well
4) will be quite sad when people seem to have 'progressed' in life with raising their own family.
5) the other spouse will be absolutely lonely when your other half has passed on.
6) will not know the joy of your own child hugging you in your sleep

 

[ferr4ri]

Something not right with pro 5.......how many childless friends can one have? When u get to the age around 40+, u think u can still mix around with youngsters around 20++? U think most of your peers around 40s will not get married or will not have child?

with our very low birth rates.. seem to be quite true will have many childless friends..