First date - with a stranger

[IAmChiobu12M]

Text a bit to chat and know some basic info the person is fine. But don't need text like forever and just stay keyboard warrior. I find it lame af. A chat more than 1 wk that don't convert to meetup or some tangible plans is waste of time. To me.

Dating/meeting new people is similar to sales, number games. The more you social the better you get and you also know how to filter better. No harm meeting more people. Some people might end up friends, some might end up be an useful session/experience to know things you won't have chance to be exposed within your circles. Dk why bbfa always so fearful meeting people. There is no loss in learning new things.

 

[Decorum]

1 hour, mean only coffee kinda hangout. low commitment on both ends. but i feel to travel all the way out and back, dress up and all for a 1 hr coffee. May be it should be more formal event isnt it?

guys dont dress up. its literally low commitment.

should go for full meal bah. I find that coffee is too informal & rushed for enjoyment.

Have u met chatty people?

yeah i did. I will try to make it a buffet on the first meetup

 

[Decorum]

can you share the script with me? i literally have no idea what to talk about with unknown people

The manual will cover everything from current affairs to weather in case of awkwardness

 

[Decorum]

Bro, power.. thats too much effort liao.

ya i once told the gal brb

i need refer my manual then she laughed so i guess thats a plus

 

[BennyQ]

I think everything about relationships is confusing cos there are too many white lies about and around relationships. Maybe we need to try to look at it more truthfully instead of more beautifully. We need to be more cynical to see the truth and find our way again.

 

[Chisaigyu]

A text conversation is definitely not on the same level with a f2f conversation given that it is very common to see a disparity between an online persona and an in real life personality.

U might end up liking a non-existent person (his online persona)

By engaging that prospective candidate early f2f, u are saving ur own time.

That said, this does not mean u should take the initiative to ask the guy out but instead should wait to see how long it takes for him to muster the courage to ask u out.

Why girl cannot ask guy out? If girl is curious about the guy why she cannot initiate? Where is the equality in this?

 

[Encouragesome1]

Randomly watch singles inferno dating show and they are actively making themselves known/seen by the opposite sex, going to paradise with people they are curious about.

Last time, I always want to have longer get-to-know each other periods and goody feely before i meet up in person.

To prevent wasting time, do you chat up and build foundational friendship first or just meet in person and figure?
Without good feeling in chat, the first meet will be like a making friend session or first date?

Don t really uds question, lkk take is try to meet more ppl , someone is intrigued by u or u find someone interesting..
Just try to know them more, their hobbies, interests , attitudes abt life , r they available?
or do they hv someone available to share u ?

I would think a friend's recommendation is a higher likelihood of a better match than another human on the street .. and I also believe 90% of all humans can be someone we can talk to regardless of their backgrounds

 

[Encouragesome1]

Why girl cannot ask guy out? If girl is curious about the guy why she cannot initiate? Where is the equality in this?

Agreed it is inequal here but irl if boy is not interested she ask him out he still not interested de

 

[BennyQ]

Agreed it is inequal here but irl if boy is not interested she ask him out he still not interested de

I think same for women leh.

Traditionally women used to get very obvious attention from men, like love letters and flowers. And then women would reject or reciprocate.

Now cos the rejection rate is so high, many men have subconsciously decided that women should make the first move so men won't get rejected or arrested.

If I was younger and woman makes first move I will definitely jiak. Now older liao I more careful of what I jiak. Heheh.

I predict overall success rate would improve if women initiated. That's just for seks of cos. Long term love and marriage is another thing. But no seks means no hope.

 

[coyote]

Randomly watch singles inferno dating show and they are actively making themselves known/seen by the opposite sex, going to paradise with people they are curious about.

Last time, I always want to have longer get-to-know each other periods and goody feely before i meet up in person.

To prevent wasting time, do you chat up and build foundational friendship first or just meet in person and figure?
Without good feeling in chat, the first meet will be like a making friend session or first date?

Just meet up.

Many years ago, I watch Japanese drama and didn't understand then the translation of the dialogue saying, "我是以结婚的大前提和你见面。。。".

Only till I go match making, then I understand it is important to say it directly that you are looking to find the right one to get married. Not just to meet and pass time. Think is important for both parties not to waste each other's time.

 

[Spike]

Why girl cannot ask guy out? If girl is curious about the guy why she cannot initiate? Where is the equality in this?

Kindly refer to this post.

Lastly, gender equality never existed.

Post in thread 'How to tell whether e lady is sincere when l chase her ?' https://forums.hardwarezone.com.sg/...ncere-when-l-chase-her.7032895/post-152540829

 

[Spike]

ya i once told the gal brb

i need refer my manual then she laughed so i guess thats a plus

Some amount of planning is necessary.. but I suggest u go with the flow..

 

[Encouragesome1]

The manual will cover everything from current affairs to weather in case of awkwardness

🫡🫡

 

[deathan9el]

It all depends on your personality.

I am those who cannot date friends as I value my friendships, so I wouldn't be looking to build any foundational friendship. Once the friendship line is established, I will always stay in that zone.

First date is always about getting to know each other to establish whether if a further relationship is likely, or not.

sums it all up here
no need for me to add anything more

 

[BennyQ]

Cost benefit analysis says cost has increased while benefit has decreased for both men and women. Last time women like slaves and men like kings. Highest benefit to cost ratio.

Last time women slave to a man master is better than no job fear for own survival. Now men no longer provide much benefit to working women. That's why need to invent lies like love and whatnot. That's why I say OBSOLETE.

 

[EXIDBeast]

Without good feeling in chat is strictly no go

I did something like first chat tonight, met tomorrow. Turned out she was the best date The rest were... mai gong liao geh xin

Please elaborate. You think you can come here with so many bbfa and hang our 胃口 and leave?

 

[BennyQ]

sums it all up here
no need for me to add anything more

But... but...
His post reveals a problem.
So is friendship or love more virtuous and beneficial? If friendship is better, then what is wrong with love? Is it more exploitative and destructive? Is love and seks more predatory or unsustainable?

 

[deathan9el]

But... but...
This post reveals a problem.
So is friendship or love more virtuous and beneficial? If friendship is better, then what is wrong with love? Is it more exploitative and destructive? Is love and seks more predatory?

me ain't a love guru myself but it all starts w/ friendship

anything else, if it comes, it comes
if it's meant to be, it'll meant to be

if it doesn't, no harm remaining as friends

 

[wlalala]

surely you've got to know the person at least on some level before you can call it a date

 

[BennyQ]

me ain't a love guru myself but it all starts w/ friendship

anything else, if it comes, it comes
if it's meant to be, it'll meant to be

if it doesn't, no harm remaining as friends

Me also not pro but I can try to distil your ideas abit and hope we come up with something useful or actionable.

Inspired by your words, can i say...
Love is an adaptation or extension of friendship that comes about when two friends agree to indulge their potentially destructive animal physical attraction and lust because of the trust they have in each other.

So it's possible all relationship challenges or problems lie in our individual definition or expectations of trust.