hahaha ya still need to pay woman maintenance fee regardless adultery or not. But yea, the best thing is at least shame her in front of her friends and parents. Well at least let relatives know the fault is not in you.
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Another sign is she become sensitive about her phone and bring it along to shower as well.
Don’t mind my asking - Did you ex end up wif the guy? I despise peeps who can’t honor their marriage vows and cheat . Please marry for the correct reasons and not for BTO etc etc
Actually hor, it's really hard to definite shitty. every body expectation is diff... you may have given 100% liao but ur partner want 1000%.... Some ppl just doesn't feel enough.
All the fear mongering messages telling TS to prepare to pay alimony, wife is having affair, etc. is not helping, and it is detrimental to TS' mental wellbeing.
TS, you need to understand that 冰冻三尺绝非一日之寒 and you need to hear the truth.
Frankly, to allow things to escalate to this situation, you've been taking things for granted.
Perhaps this is your way of showing love, care and concern, by being over protective; or it might be because you are not having any fun or social life, so your wife couldn't have it too - because it is not fair to you- you are caring for the kids while she is having fun.
While we judge ourselves by our intention, others judge us by our action - and hence in your situation, your wife thinks that you are being too controlling.
I strongly encourage you to take your wife's words at face value - because you need trust to continue the marriage.
Talk to her.
You can wait for her to return from her OT at work, or from her outings with her friends to talk to her, or funny as it may sound - schedule an appointment to talk to her.
Think about the agendas you want to talk about and try not to be judgmental about her new lifestyle which she attributes to work, because your primary focus here is to win her heart back.
You might want to try and start the conversation by sharing with her that you have thought about your own actions and agree with her that you've been too possessive and have hurt her during the process but emphasize to her that you still love her very dearly and you are willing to change for her.
Offer consensus like - understanding that she is in a new company and will need some time to get accustomed to her new role, new responsibilities, new job scope, new office culture, new team and etc., hence you agree that she can hang out with friends and colleagues. She needs to feel empowered.
Speaking of which - when was the last time your had a meaningful conversation with your spouse?
Use this opportunity to make some changes to your interaction and lifestyle with your wife.
I do not recommend mentioning kids during your conversation as some may view kids as emotional baggage.
Reminisce the younger days you spent with her and I am hope the conversation will flow well.
Take care TS, you can do it.
TS, you need to understand that 冰冻三尺绝非一日之寒 and you need to hear the truth.
Frankly, to allow things to escalate to this situation, you've been taking things for granted.
Perhaps this is your way of showing love, care and concern, by being over protective; or it might be because you are not having any fun or social life, so your wife couldn't have it too - because it is not fair to you- you are caring for the kids while she is having fun.
While we judge ourselves by our intention, others judge us by our action - and hence in your situation, your wife thinks that you are being too controlling.
I strongly encourage you to take your wife's words at face value - because you need trust to continue the marriage.
Talk to her.
You can wait for her to return from her OT at work, or from her outings with her friends to talk to her, or funny as it may sound - schedule an appointment to talk to her.
Think about the agendas you want to talk about and try not to be judgmental about her new lifestyle which she attributes to work, because your primary focus here is to win her heart back.
You might want to try and start the conversation by sharing with her that you have thought about your own actions and agree with her that you've been too possessive and have hurt her during the process but emphasize to her that you still love her very dearly and you are willing to change for her.
Offer consensus like - understanding that she is in a new company and will need some time to get accustomed to her new role, new responsibilities, new job scope, new office culture, new team and etc., hence you agree that she can hang out with friends and colleagues. She needs to feel empowered.
Speaking of which - when was the last time your had a meaningful conversation with your spouse?
Use this opportunity to make some changes to your interaction and lifestyle with your wife.
I do not recommend mentioning kids during your conversation as some may view kids as emotional baggage.
Reminisce the younger days you spent with her and I am hope the conversation will flow well.
Take care TS, you can do it.
is everytime u dont pay u go in squat... it's an court order... not 1 time thingy...
Red Ronin
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no wonder so many murders
Holytyphoon
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Yes.
Ended up with the guy.
I honestly dont even wanna know who the guy is or what he does.
In all positive note, i try to look at it as im glad this happened before i had a kid. The very least i can try to have a fresh start.
When this kind of things happen, it changes you alot, especially towards to darker side. It almost entirely changed my beliefs too.
The journey out of the marriage is rather painful, especially if she is enjoying the fresh ess and excitement of the rs and you are doing all the paperwork, everything bring to her to sign, including surrendering the house and taking a huge penalty on your money.
Medicated Oil
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Give her some space and time to cool down.
Maybe her head is being screwed by her new colleagues.
Just do your part to taking care of the household and the kids.
Tell your wife to call you if she need you to pick her up after her "work".
Dun interfere with her life any more.
Use the spare time to read, exercise and socialize.
If your wife still want to separate after a while, just accept her decision and perform the necessary procedure.
I know it is easy to say than done.
Once the heart of another people is changed, it is very hard to return it back to their original form.
Maybe her head is being screwed by her new colleagues.
Just do your part to taking care of the household and the kids.
Tell your wife to call you if she need you to pick her up after her "work".
Dun interfere with her life any more.
Use the spare time to read, exercise and socialize.
If your wife still want to separate after a while, just accept her decision and perform the necessary procedure.
I know it is easy to say than done.
Once the heart of another people is changed, it is very hard to return it back to their original form.
Dunno why some woman can just call it quit so easily without any penalty. Oh well because this is Singapore and You definitely deserve better!
Holytyphoon
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Quite frankly im on the stern believe that eventually and in the longer term, i would be better off.
Medicated Oil
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Cos you are scared of losing and want to hold on tightly.
When you let go and dun give a damn any more, then you will be king.
There is nothing much you can do now.
(The more you do, the more you will piss her off.
Maybe your wife realized that she dun have any ME time and all the time is consumed by the family and TS.)
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Holytyphoon
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Listen bud. Dont forget your friends.
They will be key to bring you through if it ends up not working in your favour.
But nonetheless, I hope you will be able to salvage yours. Sometimes it really is the excitement talking, especially so for girls.
Mine ended up contact me for small talk months after I moved out. Whatever you do, respect yourself first. Walk and take the hit like a men if you need to.
-Likely lack of intimacy
-Short fused, quick tempered
-Craves for "freedom", likely another excuse to go meet another person
-Reject your advances even for simple things like hugs and kisses
- Notice whether her acts of services have been reduced?
- Secretive when it comes to texting on her phone
I'm not saying your wife has committed adultery, I'm just saying you should watch out and if nothing happens yet, quickly salvage it before its too late.
Of course it takes 2 hands to clap, so if you've done everything you could and yet, there's no reciprocity, I'm sorry.
Medicated Oil
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I guess TS is still at the initial stage.
Hope he dun lose control of his temper and do anything drastic.
white_prince
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TS, keep the relationship for the kids.
Its unhealthy for the kids to grow up in a seperate environment.
Me ish from a broken family, so me knew exactly how sad things work out.
Its best to talk things out now before things got even worsen.
Its unhealthy for the kids to grow up in a seperate environment.
Me ish from a broken family, so me knew exactly how sad things work out.
Its best to talk things out now before things got even worsen.
TS, Nah .. I googled for you the signs of infidelity
Signs of infidelity in women can include changes in communication, increased secrecy, shifts in physical appearance or grooming, changes in intimacy, and mood swings. Other potential signs include becoming defensive, spending more time on their phone, or expressing dissatisfaction with the relationship.
Detailed Signs of Infidelity in Women:
Signs of infidelity in women can include changes in communication, increased secrecy, shifts in physical appearance or grooming, changes in intimacy, and mood swings. Other potential signs include becoming defensive, spending more time on their phone, or expressing dissatisfaction with the relationship.
Detailed Signs of Infidelity in Women:
- Changes in Communication:
A woman might become less communicative, more evasive, or less responsive to questions.
- Increased Secrecy:
This can include hiding her phone, being secretive about her whereabouts, or becoming guarded about her personal space.
- Changes in Physical Appearance:
A woman might suddenly pay more attention to her appearance, start dressing differently, or have unexplained expenses on new clothes or cosmetics.
- Changes in Intimacy:
There might be a noticeable decline in physical intimacy, or a sudden increase in sexual activity with a focus on new or different experiences.
- Mood Swings:
A woman might become more irritable, emotionally detached, or withdrawn.
- Defensiveness:
She might become defensive when you ask questions about her day, whereabouts, or her interactions with others.
- Increased Technology Use:
She might spend more time on her phone, hide her phone from you, or be less willing to let you access her devices.
- Dissatisfaction with the Relationship:
A woman might express dissatisfaction with the relationship, complain about you or your life, or become less interested in the shared experiences.
- Unexplained Expenses:
She might have new purchases that seem out of character or unexplained spending habits.
- Changes in Work Habits:
If she is suddenly staying late at work more often or taking more work trips, it could be a sign that she is spending time with someone else.
- Uncharacteristic Behavior:
She might start acting differently in ways that seem out of character, such as becoming more outgoing, more flirtatious, or more argumentative.
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