Serious Relationship issue

[camholicx]

When should I throw the cloth and give up entirely? Mean while, I give in to let her have the space? Any other signs, i.e. no wear wedding ring or fb photo remove.?

 

[Yuripa]

don't waste money on PI..it's useless at courts.. try settle uncontested amicably for the worst part if its impossible to reconcile

Yes and no.

I have a friend who needed the PI's evidence to proof that his ex-wife was using his money to support that her boyfriend's expenditures - The ex-wife had tried to ask for additional $ from my friend but he managed to show proof that the additional $ she was asking for is to provide for her boyfriend.

I'm not asking TS to get a PI. I'm asking him to plan for both best case scenario and worst case scenario.

 

[evilrion]

Time to hire PI to protect yourself...

 

[prudie]

Been asking her for dinner, but declined by her. She said that she need space and need time for her OT work. As of now, she just want to concentrate on work and nothing else.

Highly Likely a male colleague is involved. The OT is a common excuse. Seen too many cases of this.

 

[GhostZM]

i want many children. my motivation is quite different. i married to have many kids. piaks is a bonus. she had done her duties and i am grateful to her for eternity. and my gf is willing to bear me more kids if i want

Open marriage..jskm


CheerS!!!

 

[Yuripa]

When should I throw the cloth and give up entirely? Mean while, I give in to let her have the space? Any other signs, i.e. no wear wedding ring or fb photo remove.?

1) See a marriage counselor yourself.
2) Ask her to see separately.
3) See together to work things out.

At the end of the day it's about give and take.

If really no choice need to separate + divorce, you better get a good lawyer and defend yourself to the very end. Worst case scenario need to hire PI to protect ur backside.

Some things you can close 1 eye and give her then give her. Some things you should be firm and don't give in otherwise you will suffer for life.

Goodluck and all the best TS!!

You really need to go through a series of counseling session to sort out your own wants and needs 1st.

I srsly think this is the best course of action foryou to take currently from points 1 to 3.

 

[TiedInsurer]

Mean while, I give in to let her have the space?

"Meanwhile, I give in to let her have the space?"
There is no "meanwhile". Licenses and permits, once handed out, cannot be taken back. You have to be honestly ok with it, for life. If not, don't do it, or the resentment will stay for the rest of your time together.

There's no milestone on when you should give up. You give up when your heart breaks so bad that you cannot take it anymore.

 

[Fightfat]

Bro , just take good care of yourself.
Exercise to have a good body and clear all negative thoughts in your mind.
Whatever will happen-it will happen and I believe you knew it yourself.
Always remember- she will not be the last tree that you have pruned .
There is a forest out there .
Be strong and keep going

 

[fandango]

i've been thru all this myself. my wife went out with countless other guys. me too with other women. yet we are still together and sleep on the same bed, sometimes with our adult children next to us as though they are still babies

don't take extramarital affairs so seriously. it's mostly for fun. if you do that, smile and love her selflessly, your marriage will go a long way. be selfless. jealousy is selfishness

What did I just read???

 

[Lemonpeach]

After a short while and still crawling along in my HWZ tier status, I realised Edmw is a bad place to ask for family-related advice. Instead of empathy, some insult you because they have different POV and values system. When drowning, you will be passed a rock to jump into the pool.

I like to help by offering advice, but you will probably have more inspirations and solace with a family coach/mediator.

 

[cheryl81]

Have kid liao still want go pub with friends

Ts jin swey, but then again, wife is own self choose one. Nobody force chu

why have kids liao cannot go pubs with frens? what the logic? cant she have frens?
she can only stay at home and be yellow face woman?

 

[lkong]

When should I throw the cloth and give up entirely? Mean while, I give in to let her have the space? Any other signs, i.e. no wear wedding ring or fb photo remove.?

no such thing. anything that is 'intentional' become awkward and awkward will not last long. it become artificial after sometime, or at least it will feel that way. have a talk and give her some time, if it does not improve, it likely wont. no need to purposely remove ring or photo whatever out of spite. it wont help the situation at all.

i think at the same time, mentally prepare yourself for the worse. how to manage your kids will be one of the biggest headache.

after some years, esepcially after having kids, usually the female focus will shift to family, but if yours did not, the she is also not ready for family life yet. things become complicated and fragile

 

[0nePunchm@n]

Highly Likely a male colleague is involved. The OT is a common excuse. Seen too many cases of this.

mine even better.. said go dinner with boss & colleagues.. the girls really love this sort of excitement feeling.

 

[camholicx]

I am devastated, esp some of the replies here on the cuckold issue. Sigh

 

[oOBubbleOo]

家家有本难念的经。

Take care of yourself and your kids for now.
do what is within your control for now.
most of it are still speculative and unknown.

"some cases are purely because the person just wants to enjoy some freedom after spending a number of years taking care of children. Since the kids have grown up now. "

We dunno wat happened thru these years just by reading a few paragraphs of probably a 10 years relationship since courtship.

keep the channels open. Be mentally strong.

 

[0nePunchm@n]

I am devastated, esp some of the replies here on the cuckold issue. Sigh

ts honest reply here.. ur wifey is good looking slim type? if buibui ahem looks then you will be safer
cos buaya seldom like this kind.. no pun intended here.

 

[cheryl81]

I am devastated, esp some of the replies here on the cuckold issue. Sigh

i think you better take such comment with a pinch of salt.
we all duno how your marriage has been, what has been happening between you and her
she could have bottled up for a long time.

 

[ZETMAN]

why have kids liao cannot go pubs with frens? what the logic? cant she have frens?
she can only stay at home and be yellow face woman?

ya lor. he is very myopic.

• who say have kids liao cannot go pub with frens.
• who say have kids liao cannot have frens
• who say have kids liao can only stay at home and be yellow face woman
• who say have kids liao, cannot have multiple boy friends
• who say have kids liao, cannot drink then after that come back to breastfeed baby then build up baby's alcoholic tolerance from young
• who say have kids liao, need to stay home to care for kids, she is a strong independent woman who dont need man's permission to do what she want, and if she dont need her man's permission, she certainly doesnt need her kid's permission
• who say have kids liao, need to stay home and provide care for family. Family shld be self sufficient and care for themselves. if the kid is a boy, he shld learn to respect his lao bu's right to yo ah yo, if it is a girl, the mother is setting the example what a strong independent woman should be like

 

[fandango]

I am devastated, esp some of the replies here on the cuckold issue. Sigh

You want to hard truth mah

 

[cheryl81]

ya lor. he is very myopic.

• who say have kids liao cannot go pub with frens.
• who say have kids liao cannot have frens
• who say have kids liao can only stay at home and be yellow face woman
• who say have kids liao, cannot have multiple boy friends
• who say have kids liao, cannot drink then after that come back to breastfeed baby then build up baby's alcoholic tolerance from young
• who say have kids liao, need to stay home to care for kids, she is a strong independent woman who dont need man's permission to do what she want, and if she dont need her man's permission, she certainly doesnt need her kid's permission
• who say have kids liao, need to stay home and provide care for family. Family shld be self sufficient and care for themselves. if the kid is a boy, he shld learn to respect his lao bu's right to yo ah yo, if it is a girl, the mother is setting the example what a strong independent woman should be like

nope. be it man or woman, they should have their circles of frens and go out with them as and when.
both parent can take turn to take care the kids if one of them have to go out or what.
while i say both need to have friends doesnt mean they do not have responsibility with their kids or family