Serious Relationship issue

li9ht5peed

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Have some respect for ts bah. I guess he's having a hard time right now. Although it's good to state the facts to him but don't pour unnecessary fuel into it.
i've been thru all this myself. my wife went out with countless other guys. me too with other women. yet we are still together and sleep on the same bed, sometimes with our adult children next to us as though they are still babies

don't take extramarital affairs so seriously. it's mostly for fun. if you do that, smile and love her selflessly, your marriage will go a long way. be selfless. jealousy is selfishness
 

eflash

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I am inclined to say that she is straying. There is likely another man in between both of you who is making her feel like a "princess", fluffing her up with words of affirmation. Be careful... and your wife should know better that she is a married woman and a mother with kids, what kind of life is she craving for? A singleton?

Too many people are getting married nowadays, and worse becoming parents without seriously considering what's the commitment level required.

Cannot commit, dont get married and ruin the lives of your partner and children. Ridiculous.

Sad to say... But also leaning towards this conclusion...

Since not many mothers will want to or still have energy to go pub...

Going out with friends for gathering or dinner also rare... And sometimes will bring the kids along as well... Husband also never say no if it's these kinds...
 

Vinda99

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I have been married to my wife for six years, and we have kids. Recently, we had a quarrel, and she suggested a separation. Her stance on this seems very firm. According to her, the argument stemmed from what she sees as me being overly controlling—for example, not allowing her to go out with friends to pubs late at night. She finds my behaviour unreasonable and controlling.

This isn’t the first time we’ve had a quarrel, and usually, we manage to resolve our differences by the next day. However, this time, she has been ignoring me for about two weeks and has been sleeping in another room. She also goes out until late at night, saying she has work. All of this started after she joined a new company.

I do not wish to divorce her, as I still love her. However, I don’t know how to resolve the issue now. Should I try to convince her to come back to me, or should I give her the space to live the lifestyle she wants?
Sorry you are in this situation TS.

Since you say you still love her, try your best to de-escalate and salvage.

However, I just want to note, your marriage of 6 years is not long. It is common for couples to quarrel, but not to bring up separation / divorce, unless something extreme has happened, e.g domestic violence, emotional abuse.

If you already have kids and she still suggested separation before any kind of effort at mediation, the signs are not good. I don't think married men or women with children should be out with friends to pubs late at night, but that's just me. If this is something you already knew she likes doing before marriage, you have to accept it, but try to reason with her to reduce it for the sake of the kids.

There is no easy way out of this, but as long as both are willing to salvage the marriage, there is hope. If she has already made up her mind, do your best to protect yourself and your children from the eventual split.

I hope things work out for you. All the best.
 

SpicyBird

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i've been thru all this myself. my wife went out with countless other guys. me too with other women. yet we are still together and sleep on the same bed, sometimes with our adult children next to us as though they are still babies

don't take extramarital affairs so seriously. it's mostly for fun. if you do that, smile and love her selflessly, your marriage will go a long way. be selfless. jealousy is selfishness
I admire you and your wife to have such an open concept on relationship. But not everyone can accept it this way bah.
 

ribena.bing

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Been asking her for dinner, but declined by her. She said that she need space and need time for her OT work. As of now, she just want to concentrate on work and nothing else.

but has time to pub?

how to concentrate on work by drinking? so she can focus on other guy's sausage in the office?

hire a PI. get needed evidence to defend yourself. screenshot and save your conversations

its not to accuse her. but to protect yourself. its not easy. but please, while you are being considerate for her, protect yourself and your kids. this kind of women wont be good mothers for your children. if theres a stepfather that abuses them, its your fault for letting them go.

all the best brother
 

Yuripa

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I have been married to my wife for six years, and we have kids. Recently, we had a quarrel, and she suggested a separation. Her stance on this seems very firm. According to her, the argument stemmed from what she sees as me being overly controlling—for example, not allowing her to go out with friends to pubs late at night. She finds my behaviour unreasonable and controlling.

This isn’t the first time we’ve had a quarrel, and usually, we manage to resolve our differences by the next day. However, this time, she has been ignoring me for about two weeks and has been sleeping in another room. She also goes out until late at night, saying she has work. All of this started after she joined a new company.

I do not wish to divorce her, as I still love her. However, I don’t know how to resolve the issue now. Should I try to convince her to come back to me, or should I give her the space to live the lifestyle she wants?
1) See a marriage counselor yourself.
2) Ask her to see separately.
3) See together to work things out.

At the end of the day it's about give and take.

If really no choice need to separate + divorce, you better get a good lawyer and defend yourself to the very end. Worst case scenario need to hire PI to protect ur backside.

Some things you can close 1 eye and give her then give her. Some things you should be firm and don't give in otherwise you will suffer for life.

Goodluck and all the best TS!!
 
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not allowing her to go out with friends to pubs late at night. She finds my behaviour unreasonable and controlling.


Gone case ...
 

charlieangel123

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ob
I have been married to my wife for six years, and we have kids. Recently, we had a quarrel, and she suggested a separation. Her stance on this seems very firm. According to her, the argument stemmed from what she sees as me being overly controlling—for example, not allowing her to go out with friends to pubs late at night. She finds my behaviour unreasonable and controlling.

This isn’t the first time we’ve had a quarrel, and usually, we manage to resolve our differences by the next day. However, this time, she has been ignoring me for about two weeks and has been sleeping in another room. She also goes out until late at night, saying she has work. All of this started after she joined a new company.

I do not wish to divorce her, as I still love her. However, I don’t know how to resolve the issue now. Should I try to convince her to come back to me, or should I give her the space to live the lifestyle she wants?
obviouslly she is seering someone at new office place and giving you green hat

woman body is very honest de. if no active touch and body contact with you, means they dont love you liao
 

0nePunchm@n

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Been asking her for dinner, but declined by her. She said that she need space and need time for her OT work. As of now, she just want to concentrate on work and nothing else.
don't waste money on PI..it's useless at courts.. try settle uncontested amicably for the worst part if its impossible to reconcile
 

Jerroldscv

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i've been thru all this myself. my wife went out with countless other guys. me too with other women. yet we are still together and sleep on the same bed, sometimes with our adult children next to us as though they are still babies

don't take extramarital affairs so seriously. it's mostly for fun. if you do that, smile and love her selflessly, your marriage will go a long way. be selfless. jealousy is selfishness

I been thru it too
And i divorce her
 

rider83

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Get PI to know the true story first.... then come back and we can advise
 

li9ht5peed

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I been thru it too
And i divorce her
i want many children. my motivation is quite different. i married to have many kids. piaks is a bonus. she had done her duties and i am grateful to her for eternity. and my gf is willing to bear me more kids if i want
 

Encouragesome1

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I have been married to my wife for six years, and we have kids. Recently, we had a quarrel, and she suggested a separation. Her stance on this seems very firm. According to her, the argument stemmed from what she sees as me being overly controlling—for example, not allowing her to go out with friends to pubs late at night. She finds my behaviour unreasonable and controlling.
Hmm why don’t u discuss with her , see what she perceive as reasonable or not?

Each family and couple is different.

Eg my family we’d almost neh go out after 11. Unless travelling overseas or those cross year count downs or wedding / wakes or special reasons or special projects.

Even then it’s like once in a blue moon and all arrangements for whatever needs to be ✅ has to be pre organised.

if you ask me as a old auntie/ ah mah, I feel going out once or twice with bffs have some friendship hangout time is perfectly ok provided someone is ok and taking care of rest of ppl and arrangements at home. And ! Logistics of how she goes n comes home is also mapped out n taken care of & you and family are assured not scared for her wellbeing given what she tells u on her plans.

Eg if she lets you book grab for her by 12 or 12 ish am , how can she manage her sleep and attention the next day if she has work or
Work plus care taking of children n rest of family tasks etc ?

This isn’t the first time we’ve had a quarrel, and usually, we manage to resolve our differences by the next day. However, this time, she has been ignoring me for about two weeks
Must try to find out why from her. Tell her don’t childish if you don’t tell me how I know what’s wrong n what we can resolve or can’t ?
and has been sleeping in another room. She also goes out until late at night, saying she has work. All of this started after she joined a new company.

I do not wish to divorce her, as I still love her. However, I don’t know how to resolve the issue now. Should I try to convince her to come back to me, or should I give her the space to live the lifestyle she wants?
If she don’t listen to you cos of your communication history a mah suggewt u rope in her family member eg her pa or her bro or her mom or sis or yr sis or yr sil- whoever family / wise family member or counsellor whom she trusts and let them mediate between u both?
 

qhong61

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I have been married to my wife for six years, and we have kids. Recently, we had a quarrel, and she suggested a separation. Her stance on this seems very firm. According to her, the argument stemmed from what she sees as me being overly controlling—for example, not allowing her to go out with friends to pubs late at night. She finds my behaviour unreasonable and controlling.

This isn’t the first time we’ve had a quarrel, and usually, we manage to resolve our differences by the next day. However, this time, she has been ignoring me for about two weeks and has been sleeping in another room. She also goes out until late at night, saying she has work. All of this started after she joined a new company.

I do not wish to divorce her, as I still love her. However, I don’t know how to resolve the issue now. Should I try to convince her to come back to me, or should I give her the space to live the lifestyle she wants?
Maybe she got a new bf
 

benzene

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don't waste money on PI..it's useless at courts.. try settle uncontested amicably for the worst part if its impossible to reconcile
yap... dont waste that money on PI, no use one.

if wife doesnt want to talk face to face just send her a text to check if she want custody of the children. I think sometimes although is very difficult, we must accept the fact that not all marriage will last forever or blissful forever. Give her some time and space, eventually she will talk to you

If really cannot carry on as mentioned just find the cheapest lawyer that provide uncontested divorce.
All the best to you....
 
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