Serious Relationship issue

[Icychemist]

sounds like she got pretty low self esteem by being overly controlling, a surefire way to make the guy lose interest quickly. after that she can validate herself & say "i knew it. all men lose interest in the end." shes just self sabotaging

what has this got to do with self-esteem leh?

i feel it's more of that she probably invested everything, hence, she wants a huge return as well.

 

[Kanko San]

Hire a PI to tail her for 1 to 2 mths. If there's no hanky panky, just social gathering. Then it's fine.

U also ask remind her of her responsibilities as a mother to the family and kids.

If there is hanky panky, then u have the evidence.

PI...one month cost $10k

 

[Acetone]

Hope TS find peace…. Looks like the relationship is done

 

[jerichoo]

Be careful what you wished for. My personal experience:
Part 1:
When wake up, must text her to let her know you wake up.
If anything about your day deviates from the usual routine, must text her and let her know too.
When get off work, must text her and let her know.
Then when reach home, also must text her to let her know you reach home.
If you fail to do any of the above, it means you are trying to do things behind her back.
Part 2:
If she never responds to any of your text within 5mins, you MUST panic and start trying to contact her by first calling her, then calling mutual acquaintances, then calling the police etc. Keep escalting until you get a hold of her. If you never panic it means you don't care about her. This applies even though the reason she never respond the last few dozen times, was because she was busy and missed the text.
When she is about to off work, you must text her and ask her if she is off work, and if not, ask her when she will be off work.
When you estimate that she is about to reach home, you must text her to check that she reached home safely.
If you fail to do any of the above, it means you don't care about her well-being. She could have died and you wouldn't even know.
Part 3:
When she texts you, you better respond within 5 mins. No, talking to your boss is not an excuse. All it takes is 10 seconds to type "Sry, bz toking to boss", so there's no reason not to do it.
If you fail to do this, it means you don't value her.

sounds like secondary school

ur ex in sec 5 normal stream right?

 

[boyinhersense]

who say mother and wife cannot go pub. chill and enjoy with gfs cannot meh?

The missus goes clubbing with her friends at least once a month. Used to pick her up. Now I just koon at home

 

[Kaylin]

what has this got to do with self-esteem leh?

i feel it's more of that she probably invested everything, hence, she wants a huge return as well.

if u got low self esteem u will tie yr self worth to everything external & sexpect a romantic partner to give u the love that you're supposed to be giving to yrself.

in the 1st place why has she invested everything when she shd hv been investing on herself instead & not on someone else? a woman who doesnt know this will be like a bottomless pit. whether a man replies to calls & texts in 5 mins or 5 secs it will never be enough for her. such dynamic also gives way to a toxic relationship & enmeshment which is very very unhealthy. healthy relationships need space to grow. if a woman doesnt even respect herself to not do this to a man, how can a man respect her? it will be a vicious cycle.

if a woman is high value, she will make the man wanna do everything for her willingly including replying to texts quickly and not demand this herself. its actually very unatttactive for a woman to do that.

 

[Acetone]

When should I throw the cloth and give up entirely? Mean while, I give in to let her have the space? Any other signs, i.e. no wear wedding ring or fb photo remove.?

You can start preparing for life without her… especially plan for the arrangement for your kids.

 

[SpicyBird]

Thanks.

but to TS, one of the bro say if you lost her affection, dont lose the respect as well. Thats really true.

3y later u look back, u will be proud u respect urself and take the hit if you intend to.

3y later when u look back, u will be proud that you're not like a 舔狗 to beg her to stay when she's the f up 1.

 

[SpicyBird]

This is very mean.

 

[harky]

if u got low self esteem u will tie yr self worth to everything external & sexpect a romantic partner to give u the love that you're supposed to be giving to yrself.

in the 1st place why has she invested everything when she shd hv been investing on herself instead & not on someone else? a woman who doesnt know this will be like a bottomless pit. whether a man replies to calls & texts in 5 mins or 5 secs it will never be enough for her. such dynamic also gives way to a toxic relationship & enmeshment which is very very unhealthy. healthy relationships need space to grow. if a woman doesnt even respect herself to not do this to a man, how can a man respect her? it will be a vicious cycle.

if a woman is high value, she will make the man wanna do everything for her willingly including replying to texts quickly and not demand this herself. its actually very unatttactive for a woman to do that.

rather than say invest maybe she expect the guy should be her mom & dad? take care of her everything hah a

 

[Kaylin]

l

rather than say invest maybe she expect the guy should be her mom & dad? take care of her everything hah a

including reply to texts immediately? thats part of taking care?

 

[AUTUMN&WINTER]

I went to pubs when I had no kids. But once I have kids, I have no interest in nightlife. Many of my girlfriends are like me.

 

[boyinhersense]

Have kid liao still want go pub with friends

Ts jin swey, but then again, wife is own self choose one. Nobody force chu

Guys can go and drink with friends but their wives can’t? Boomer, just because one has kids doesn’t mean one needs to cut themselves off from friends.

 

[neutralph]

I am inclined to say that she is straying. There is likely another man in between both of you who is making her feel like a "princess", fluffing her up with words of affirmation. Be careful... and your wife should know better that she is a married woman and a mother with kids, what kind of life is she craving for? A singleton?

Too many people are getting married nowadays, and worse becoming parents without seriously considering what's the commitment level required.

Cannot commit, dont get married and ruin the lives of your partner and children. Ridiculous.

Pity the chewren due to two selfish adults. 当婚姻是儿戏。

 

[harky]

l

including reply to texts immediately? thats part of taking care?

that why i say insecure lor
reply text asap within 5min is not possible unless i very free..
but now a day... mobile is always on hand.. so dont tell me u 1hr also cannot reply me haha

but if reply only after work.... i think can drop him/her off.. UNLESS u say ur job cannot use mobile..

 

[boyinhersense]

After a short while and still crawling along in my HWZ tier status, I realised Edmw is a bad place to ask for family-related advice. Instead of empathy, some insult you because they have different POV and values system. When drowning, you will be passed a rock to jump into the pool.

I like to help by offering advice, but you will probably have more inspirations and solace with a family coach/mediator.

Ya. See the number of posts making lame remarks about green beret/hat. 落尽下石

 

[Medicated Oil]

I went to pubs when I had no kids. But once I have kids, I have no interest in nightlife. Many of my girlfriends are like me.

Maybe TS married young.
The wife did not enjoy life enough.
And maybe the marriage and kids taking too much of her time.
If the new colleagues intro her to the new fun, I guess it is normal for her to be lost.

If you ask her why, maybe she will say that she give her all to the marriage and her kids.
It is time to have some of her own life back.

 

[PaprikaSG]

TS better quickly find PI to check if wife got let you wear green hat or not.

 

[Holytyphoon]

What was your decision then?

No, we end it, the MOP was not even 30% yet.
1.5y into the house she cheat alr.

 

[Spike]

No, we end it, the MOP was not even 30% yet.
1.5y into the house she cheat alr.

Money can earn back..