Serious Relationship issue

[drkcynic]

家家都有难念的经...

I always try not to comment on people's family business since I don't know the entire story. 1 sided stories online is just a support mechanism, they will never take a forummer stranger's advice anyway. They probably have something in mind already regardless of what is being said here.

Good luck to TS.

 

[nasfieldjohn]

No point forcing the wife to reconcile if she liddat.
TS, please plan long term for taking care of your kids; kids are innocent.

has been sleeping in another room. She also goes out until late at night, saying she has work. All of this started after she joined a new company.

ts should hire PI follow her and
find the cheehongkia piakin chiu wife
go his office and bang table and complain on FB

 

[Takenaka]

if kids are still young, might have to stay together just as a functional family till they mature....

 

[TiedInsurer]

u got scold ur colleague?? u got tell her if u r my wife i will divorce u

She's a colleague, not a friend. None of my business i just smile and nod.

 

[0nePunchm@n]

She chio or not?

best is marrying a buibui charsiew face wife! you can sleep soundly like a baby every night...
cos no man will ever target or dream to taste her @ the office/clubbing.. sad truth..

 

[Jude Raphael]

I'd argue the reason women are so quick to walk out nowadays is because she can do most things herself now without a man. This didn't use to be the case, when women had limited career options and earning power.

Ai ya, the context of what you have said, concerns the independence of a modern woman. I agree that the modern woman is now relatively financially more independent.
That is different from what the other member has said from his earlier comment. Read below:
"nothing wrong w the woman. She is simply a product of today 's immoral hedonistic world and society"

I should have been clearer. What I meant was, a woman cannot do much on her own WITHOUT a man.......when it comes to having an affair. The man may be married or single, but it does not remove the fact that it takes the participation of BOTH woman and man to have an illicit relationship..If we were to label the woman in this case, should we have done the same for the man too?

 

[Lolile]

She chio or not?

Is this all you can comment?
-1 for you

 

[harky]

my cousin hub also .. they marry because of shot gun but thn got 2 children pri 3 & one is sec.

the hub got affair, not one time but 2time.. the 2nd time she call it off

 

[fandango]

best is marrying a buibui charsiew face wife! you can sleep soundly like a baby every night...
cos no man will ever target or dream to taste her @ the office/clubbing.. sad truth..

I like Sim Ann kind of girls lehhhhhhh

 

[fandango]

Is this all you can comment?
-1 for you

Ask chio or not got wrong meh?

 

[0nePunchm@n]

I like Sim Ann kind of girls lehhhhhhh

heavy taste for u bro

 

[fandango]

heavy taste for u bro

She very cute leh! Intelligent also. Bilingual too.

 

[Roid Rage]

funny how bbfas who never held a girl's hand can give bgr advices till so many pages

 

[ZETMAN]

Totally agreed with this but woman nowadays just call it quit and walk out of a marriage when they see differences. What's wrong with woman nowadays ah?

family values and upbringing i guess.

My wife is msian, my past r/s whom give me dark green and semi green beret are sinkies.

so the conclusion....................我配不上sinkie bu

 

[ZETMAN]

I like Sim Ann kind of girls auntie lehhhhhhh

correct your grammar for chiu. no need to say thanks

 

[harky]

family values and upbringing i guess.

My wife is msian, my past r/s whom give me dark green and semi green beret are sinkies.

so the conclusion....................我配不上sinkie bu

haha nt the country is the upbringing + friends

upbringing only teach u manner and how u treat ppl..
but friends can teach alot more than parents does

 

[Icychemist]

if u got low self esteem u will tie yr self worth to everything external & sexpect a romantic partner to give u the love that you're supposed to be giving to yrself.

in the 1st place why has she invested everything when she shd hv been investing on herself instead & not on someone else? a woman who doesnt know this will be like a bottomless pit. whether a man replies to calls & texts in 5 mins or 5 secs it will never be enough for her. such dynamic also gives way to a toxic relationship & enmeshment which is very very unhealthy. healthy relationships need space to grow. if a woman doesnt even respect herself to not do this to a man, how can a man respect her? it will be a vicious cycle.

if a woman is high value, she will make the man wanna do everything for her willingly including replying to texts quickly and not demand this herself. its actually very unatttactive for a woman to do that.

so the fact that she invested on the person she love instead of on herself, is that magnanimity or stupidity?

i feel that it's like she showed hand. which, in a way, can be a good thing, but that will only work if she met someone who also showed hand. this way, she won't feel the "lack", and as a result, she wouldn't be demanding anything.

all in all, i feel that all these can be attributed to the match or mismatch in the intensity of love each person give out.

some people gave their all, and when they can't feel the same from the opposite partner, such cranky-ness surface.

while most people don't give their all, hence, they don't need their partner to fulfil their needs. so whatever the partner does, they are okay with it.

 

[ZETMAN]

Be careful what you wished for. My personal experience:

Part 1:
When wake up, must text her to let her know you wake up.
If anything about your day deviates from the usual routine, must text her and let her know too.
When get off work, must text her and let her know.
Then when reach home, also must text her to let her know you reach home.

If you fail to do any of the above, it means you are trying to do things behind her back.

Part 2:
If she never responds to any of your text within 5mins, you MUST panic and start trying to contact her by first calling her, then calling mutual acquaintances, then calling the police etc. Keep escalting until you get a hold of her. If you never panic it means you don't care about her. This applies even though the reason she never respond the last few dozen times, was because she was busy and missed the text.
When she is about to off work, you must text her and ask her if she is off work, and if not, ask her when she will be off work.
When you estimate that she is about to reach home, you must text her to check that she reached home safely.

If you fail to do any of the above, it means you don't care about her well-being. She could have died and you wouldn't even know.

Part 3:
When she texts you, you better respond within 5 mins. No, talking to your boss is not an excuse. All it takes is 10 seconds to type "Sry, bz toking to boss", so there's no reason not to do it.

If you fail to do this, it means you don't value her.

Control Freak...........is the 2 words that comes to mind.

When u pang sai do u take a photo of your output and send to her?

for a woman to do this, she has a truck load of insecurities.

for a man to adhere to this, he lacks self worth to stand up for himself.

 

[Kaylin]

so the fact that she invested on the person she love instead of on herself, is that magnanimity or stupidity?

i feel that it's like she showed hand. which, in a way, can be a good thing, but that will only work if she met someone who also showed hand. this way, she won't feel the "lack", and as a result, she wouldn't be demanding anything.

all in all, i feel that all these can be attributed to the match or mismatch in the intensity of love each person give out.

some people gave their all, and when they can't feel the same from the opposite partner, such cranky-ness surface.

while most people don't give their all, hence, they don't need their partner to fulfil their needs. so whatever the partner does, they are okay with it.

if u lost yrself & invested so much that u sexpect the same kind of reciprocity, u hv already lost. in fact doing this makes u become 被动 which is like a passive passenger, rather than in control. this actually makes u become the lower/more powerless one already. then slowly, thats when the disrespect, hot & cold will come to play coz after some testing, the other person know that no matter how badly he treats her, she will nv leave. i wish dont hv to use this kind of power dynamic to describe a relationship but this is unfortunately a sad truth. the person who needs less ALWAYS wins. ur very right abt the "show hand" part, its called 暴露需求感 and u shd never ever do this.

i think its safe to say that not many men will be emotional & "crazy" like women. they're more logical & will hardly give up their career, money, bros, gaming, leisure, fitness or whatever for a woman, whereas a woman will be more likely to do that. so the part abt where u said if that person also show hand then it will be ok. but how many men will actually show hand like the woman? not many.

i think ultimately the most impt thing is always to ask yrself what is it that person needs. ppl shd stop loving others their own way, esp when its not something that person needs.

 

[Mountainnodew]

I have been married to my wife for six years, and we have kids. Recently, we had a quarrel, and she suggested a separation. Her stance on this seems very firm. According to her, the argument stemmed from what she sees as me being overly controlling—for example, not allowing her to go out with friends to pubs late at night. She finds my behaviour unreasonable and controlling.

This isn’t the first time we’ve had a quarrel, and usually, we manage to resolve our differences by the next day. However, this time, she has been ignoring me for about two weeks and has been sleeping in another room. She also goes out until late at night, saying she has work. All of this started after she joined a new company.

I do not wish to divorce her, as I still love her. However, I don’t know how to resolve the issue now. Should I try to convince her to come back to me, or should I give her the space to live the lifestyle she wants?

If you still love her, then you have to eat the humble pie. Give her some space and time for herself. Don’t overlook the fact that she also needs to have her own life, her bunch of kakis and her own chill time for TLC. If after you gave her what she wants and still ask for separation, then you also need to respect her decision. Be a gentleman and let her go. If both can separate amicably, there is still chance to remain as friends or even keep in touch for the interest of your children. If can’t and as a result become die hard enemies, your children will receive double the heartache of a family breakup.