Failed marriages :- why?

[congster2]

How to stay together... I think hug and kiss your wife everyday, make love often, hug and kiss your kids everyday helps bah. Haha.

 

[kitsura]

Agree that the piece of paper is useless. That’s one of the reasons why I started this thread

But love can still exist without marriage.
Why need to screw so many holes? Once you find someone who loves you and the feeling is mutual should be good already


I dun understand why if you love someone, you should let them go? Can explain. TQ

You also havent shared your profile or what you intend to learn by starting this thread. I just giving an analogy about screwing. It is just like relationships just because you have one successful or many failed ones doesn't mean you will be an expert in it, since everyone is unique.

As for the saying, marriage is a legal obligation, but when you force someone to do something for you it is not due to love already but it is due to obligation hence would breed resentment. If you really love someone can stay together without a piece of paper. Then when fall out of love can go your separate ways.

 

[Ec7171]

Agree that the piece of paper is useless. That’s one of the reasons why I started this thread

But love can still exist without marriage.
Why need to screw so many holes? Once you find someone who loves you and the feeling is mutual should be good already


I dun understand why if you love someone, you should let them go? Can explain. TQ

I think you need to understand what is love to you first.

 

[Ec7171]

As for the saying, marriage is a legal obligation, but when you force someone to do something for you it is not due to love already but it is due to obligation hence would breed resentment. If you really love someone can stay together without a piece of paper. Then when fall out of love can go your separate ways.

You think it is a legal obligation because you don't understand the meaning of love.

 

[kitsura]

You think it is a legal obligation because you don't understand the meaning of love.

Ok cupid, share your insights!

 

[Shutterbox]

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
As high as souls can fly
The clouds roll by
For you and I.....

 

[amransan]

Actually should be like this

What is marriage?

why divorce?


The secret to a long and lasting marriage is how both parties endure each other nonsenses.

The failed marriage there a lot of factors like can no longer take each other nonsense, caught cheating, money problems, gambling, drinking or taking illegal substances and the last one is sex begger.

 

[PhantomOpera]

Not just marriage but relationships in general are complicated. There are many reasons whether one is in a marriage or bf/gf, some already mentioned above like poor communication leading to misunderstandings, resentment, accumulate unresolved conflicts over time, change in priorities that may not align with their partner's, no sex, financial stress, work pressure, or in law issues, unrealistic expectations about the relationship, no more spark and romance in a relationship, infidelity and taking each other for granted etc.

 

[Ec7171]

Ok cupid, share your insights!

Just like parental love, u want ur child to be good. U feel that you are partly responsible for them.

Marriage is a promise n responsibility towards ur other half.

When you think of marriage as a legal obligation which it is, then your concept of love is different. It becomes transcational.

 

[yokine3a]

Real Buddhists won't marry in the first place.

I would say achieve enlightenment buddhists may not wanna marry, since they probably become monk or nun liao.

I knew many buddhists who are married, they probably married early in life, or already engaged in a rs. My temple has buddhism classes from kids to old folks, I have seen young ppl who met their bf/gf in buddhism classes.

But I do have a few male & female friends who are above 40s & 50s, they are not keen to get marry. For me, I take it easy, can find a partner is good, cannot find also ok de.

 

[kitsura]

Just like parental love, u want ur child to be good. U feel that you are partly responsible for them.

Marriage is a promise n responsibility towards ur other half.

When you think of marriage as a legal obligation which it is, then your concept of love is different. It becomes transcational.

A promise is just that. But humans are imperfect and tend to fall short of expectations. But with the marriage cert being used to compel certain actions is why it would feel transactional. In a perfect world, a very reasonable and understanding partner won't use the law to compel the other party. But humans are selfish and imperfect. So marriages will fail and it will be ugly when that happens.

 

[Insatiable_creat]

BTO... All rush to apply even before they know each other better..

 

[mxkxmx]

My wife 认错 when things get dire. Then she even say she will wait for me till end of time if it means for damage to be healed over time. It softened me up a lot.

Nice, good heart.

 

[cheryl81]

lots of sexless marriage nowadays. To tire and stress

It's true.

 

[Lolile]

@Lolile So now u have cut the cake, and started eating.

It's definitely delicious. And u all are happy

But it's a big cake. And then he started to bring in 10 burgers. Because celebrations cannot just be cake. You will need some burgers

So both of you eat the first burger, you both happy.

Well continue with burger 2, u really felt fulfilled. And so on.

The more you started to indulge in the next burger (indulge longer in the relationship, the less satisfied you became)..

Apart from burgers, u still have cakes

Only two of you, you started to feel sick

I can’t equate diminishing marginal returns for true love
My view is that Love feeds love

Change is the only things that is constant.. people do change and expectations become different.. when things don't work out will divorce eventually.. before marriage you could be very nice to each other..

but if you truly love the other party, the likelihood of being more accommodative to accept the change should be high leh

You also havent shared your profile or what you intend to learn by starting this thread.

SF , started thread to assess whether I should stay single or consider marriage

As for the saying, marriage is a legal obligation, but when you force someone to do something for you it is not due to love already but it is due to obligation hence would breed resentment.

why force someone to do something for you? Can give example so that I can understand the context

If you really love someone can stay together without a piece of paper. Then when fall out of love can go your separate ways.

I skew more towards the piece of paper is not important . I believe that when you fall in love and the love is true mutually , it’s difficult to fall out of love . Call me naive

I think you need to understand what is love to you first.

Love to me is soul mate, a kind of special connection and deep feelings that you have for the other party. You can feel it with your heart

 

[o blong]

Divorce rate is quite high these days.
Why do married couples (definitely they were in love with each other once upon a time) fall out and divorce?
Can share your own experience / factors causing the divorce

Tell u the real reaon lah ts

Compared to ur ancestors, now u got:

Digital addiction..couple rather play phone than pumping pumping..

Pressure cooker society..inflation..focus is money not family..

No more kampung spirit..u ownself setle ur problems..u die ur problem..

Social media society..compare this compare that..end up unhappy with own relationship..

Long work hours..talents steal lunch..situation like zoo..now u know why when zoo got baby panda is big big news..

 

[forests_gump]

1# Lack of consideration in each other shoes, self-centered, no more loving

2# Lack of sufficient understanding communication

3# Lack of a common goal in life, financial difficulty

 

[kitsura]

I can’t equate diminishing marginal returns for true love
My view is that Love feeds love


but if you truly love the other party, the likelihood of being more accommodative to accept the change should be high leh


SF , started thread to assess whether I should stay single or consider marriage




I skew more towards the piece of paper is not important . I believe that when you fall in love and the love is true mutually , it’s difficult to fall out of love . Call me naive


Love to me is soul mate, a kind of special connection and deep feelings that you have for the other party. You can feel it with your heart

I don't think you are not naive just inexperienced. Those wise bros here will tell you single best. You don't believe and want to try marriage just go ahead but just know that statistics are not on your side. And i don't believe anything is certain except for death and taxes. People can change and so can feelings.

 

[CanIsayNo]

because mainstream education does not teach the people how to be good spouses or parents.. mainstream education only teaches you how to be a good worker and "good ciitzen"

just ask around what a good spouse is.. and the answers vary a lot. if husband and wife values don't align, the marriage is doomed to fail

this is where religion actually shines, because religion does actually teach you what the duty of a spouse is..

example is from this website https://www.gotquestions.org/family-priorities.html

the scriptural order of priorities is God, spouse, children, parents, extended family, brothers and sisters in Christ, and then the rest of the world.

if people can follow this, i think a good number of divorces can be prevented. i see a number of couples who cannot agree on priorities. eg. one places spouse above the rest, the other places own parents above spouse

 

[enimen]

Both want to be driver. Nobody want to be Copilot