A Failed Marraige

[PARKRANGER]

most power account here.
19years account, less than 10 post.

TS very busy with all the events
No time in here

 

[MajiMax]

I can imagine, next time TS's elder son will kena from from TS's ex-wife, Maintenance of Parents Act, to pay for the TS's ex-wife's living expenses when the TS's ex-wife cannot provide for herself.

 

[standarture]

Wow so jialat. Married again still need to care about ex-wife.

 

[li9ht5peed]

Never marry a gambler. Rule no. 1.

that all depends. i wouldn't mind marrying into stanley ho's estate, or into any casino owner's family. it's a very complicated thing cause you can't operate a casino without being a reasonably skillful gambler. you have to approach gambling as a mathematical thing, and not to get rich quickly

 

[Balian]

was ur ex-wife very chio and good figure?

the way you describe her and her family cant believe you still want her

 

[CanIsayNo]

That's why I'll never look for woman who are very close to family.
I just bought a 3 room hdb myself this year, and fully used up all the rooms. I'll only marry if the other party does not want children and not a mothers/fathers girl.
If parents in law say want to come move in, I'll jolly well tell them to farrk off. I'll break up if they can't compromise.
My house my rules.
I'm not going to sacrifice my remaining lifetime over some 'family' duties.
Life is short. I don't need toxic family members. I don't need children of my own.

agreed. if they dont understand that once married, they need to shift focus to spouse and children first, and if their family also dont understand that once their child is married, they need to let go and let their adult married child start her life away from them.. the marriage is doomed for failure. even if stay married, highly likely it wont be a happy one

 

[eflash]

All private.. she say public cannt treat need private better coz recommended. i cant say anything coz i have no custody and anything i ask for lesser will be labelled as a father that dont care and not concern at all. very crappy treatment and awful words all the time and msg or call to quarrel and scold till i depress and give in again to avoid affecting my current family. i got receipt coz im asked to pay half sometimes when the amount is big.

Hmm cannot record all the phone conversations and sue for harassment?

 

[sacrificium]

Funny that O is always aware of what TS is doing including his affairs. And whether he is going on holiday etc. Anyway, O did not hide her character from TS. TS knows how she behaves before marriage, but still married her is beyond comprehension.

 

[cleffa3000]

i read the story, ts got no say in the house and everything thats y kena like that ar

 

[kyokoto]

Walao eh really one problem after another. So many red flags --> went ahead with marriage --> wife gambler and in laws all gamblers --> decided to have a kid --> filed for divorce got some agreement --> never put in writing --> end up ex wife use kid to blackmail you every other week.

This is the summary, you really should just cut all ties and start afresh man. If wanna reach out to your son, reach out when he's 21 years old la. For your sanity. The problem with you is that you're too nice, not cruel enough. So why dont you just be cruel for once and not allow this snake to succeed?

 

[fs_lim]

Current Situation


When business starts to pick up after covid, we start receiving a salary of $1000 per month then $2000 to the current $4000 per month. During all these times, O would bring T to different doctors to certify his condition and bring him to different treatment which cause a lot which she said she can’t afford and asked me to split the bill yet they still went to different holiday every year such as Japan, Korea and now Finland in 2023. They are also renovating their current house and T is also old enough to tell me O bought a new Rolexes as well. I did not question her about anything as it had nothing to do with me as long as I paid my child maintenance and do my part.

Every now and then T will be staying at my house when they are going on cruise for gambling. They will also bring T along to cruise with the maid looking after him. I don’t mind this at all but my wife is not very happy with such arrangement not because of T staying over but because he is being treated like a ball and push over when they want to go gambling. Every now and then O will bring T to see some specialist and consultant to validate his ADHD issue and need all kind of therapy and courses. When he is with me and my family and friends all does not see any issue with him at all and feels its just part of growing up. Main problem is playing a lot, non-attentive sometimes and only will only do things that interest him. I don’t see what is the problem at all. He had to be on medication now to be attentive and calm himself from psychology. When he is with me there is totally no problem and i see him normal completely

When business picks up, we had our son in Aug 2021. The commitment increases again and we work even harder to provide and live better since. O had never stop asking for more money and I had informed her I have another child to feed she just mentioned that is my problem and I have an elder son which is sick and need treatment and need money. Simply demanded more money or she will message nasty things and called to disturb the peace at home which my wife is very unhappy about it and kept asking me when will it stop. It had been 8 years and after we are married for 5 years it still feels like I have to answer to another woman.

My current salary is $4000 per month with director bonuses depending on the profitability of the business. I have a housing debt which my CPF contribution from my salary is not enough to cover and debt from car loan. There are other expenses in my family and for the younger son as well which I have commitment to. Frankly speaking, my salary is not enough but am relying on the bonuses to cover the expenses through savings and my wife do share a huge part of the burden as well. It is unfair for me to provide extra maintenance under such situation and my wife had to take on an even larger portion for our family expenses.

O had written to me requesting for additional child maintenance stating that starting from next year Jan 2024 I will need to pay her additional $300 for T’s private after school care due to his condition. I really hate the way of treating him as a special needs kid. If I do not agree to her request, she will get court order for me to split all bills with her in accordance to court direction. I am sure she had sought consultant for sending me such message as it is beyond her level of command for English. I had not agreed the way she spent during our marriage and I had decided to walk away from the marriage but yet now I am made to pay even more for things I had never agreed on how my child are to be brought up.

I am not looking to reduce the child maintenance in this case but I am not willing to pay the extra amount to be fair to my current wife and child. We are not living frugally and saving all for O to take it away from us like this. It is not fair that her overspending habits which causes me to walk away from the marriage and she is using the same method to try to destroy my current marriage. It is becoming an issue for my family with her constant threat and demands. Will the court be giving her anything she demand and expect me to split the bill half no matter what she expects from T as she had full custody of him and my job is to pay and provide at the expense on my life and wife and other children? I would not say she is treating T no good but it is beyond one’s ability and means which is also the reason I decided on the divorce cause I couldn’t take it anymore.

Any single Dad out there having such issues? Im writing to vent my anger as it is very difficult to keep thinking of it alone. Im just thinking if i dont give the money maybe my son can be treated normally and grow up naturally. I dont dare to live normally like bringing my family to holiday frequent spend to make my family better all because if O found out, she will think i have money and demand more from me and my wife had to suffer with me and not able to go frequent holiday which she enjoyed before our marraige. i really hate myself for changing her life even though she does not complaint and willing to go thru thick and thin with me.

Thanks in advance

thanks for sharing ts...unfortunately the real comfort only comes after you get out of any relation with your ex. An addict is generally hard to deal, even more so for a gambling addict. Sounds like you found yourself a good wife now, so appreciate all moment with her.
My only advice is keep you finance as secret as much as possible even to you current wife and your son. A gambling addict will always haunt you for the rest of your useful life.

 

[Teyemittisi]

DEY... You cannot leave Singapore once you are a declared bankrupt

Then declare jobless and leave

 

[asmartng]

very long story. Give up gambling. Your life will turn better.

 

[CHINAUSA]

So toxic ex wife... hm wonder how the young child grow up in such a smoky gambling envirmt...

Y marry such a gambler wife in the first plc... sigh....

In no position to advise, but maybe pls seek help ...cut off all negativity and toxic in laws etc

 

[Tintin&Sn0wy]

Don’t marry no problem , married already become own downfall. Sometimes better to heed advice from FS master / fortune teller than go ahead. Many would have guessed you will have 2 marriages.

 

[yesman2978]

Go challenge in court lah

No point talking here

Your lawyer say can get better deal for you, but you don't want to listen

Own lawyer also don't want to listen, edmwers' advices will listen meh?

 

[Valkyrie]

lol.. i ruun a traditional business need physical presence.. also because i still wish to see my elder son. thats the hardest part to not see him also which i cant let go

Unfortunately i think you really need to cut off everything including phone number and move.

Otherwise worse case, you will kena a 2nd divorce and now have to pay both sides.

You are simply being blackmailed all the time and you keep wasting time and effort on this while ignoring your current family. I think it is very irresponsible of you and unfair to your current family.

 

[peterchan75]

Divorce is always messy. This is a one sided story. Just take it with a grain of salt.

 

[huihong]

Can summarise?

ts is a failure.

even thread title also got spelling error.

 

[pokipoki08]

Waaah
WOT
Gambler haizzz