A Failed Marraige

[robalic0000]

a bit hard. basically ex wife asking for more money for child maintenance to a point affect my current marraige and live. can ready in details will be much better as summarize may not be fair to the story.

Hi just to let u know alot of man out there does not even give a single cent even court order and there's nothing their ex wife can do.

 

[moonlighter_sg]

Those guys that are pondering the idea of divorce, better reconsider again. Divorce is really expensive. It is like chopping an arm and a leg of our wealth.

Of cos, some can be gua lan and ignore all court orders. My ah-beng friend threw away all court orders. He said he already gave away his condo. From time to time, his ex-wife still requests for more money through lawyer.

 

[Char_Kuey]

of course. divorce liao what is left is just money issue...no more kinship, love or such bullcrap.

money money money is the only real thing

that is sadly what is apparently true for relationships these days

 

[articland05]

that is sadly what is apparently true for relationships these days

even blood ties can fight each other
only $$$ is the ultimate truth

 

[li9ht5peed]

Those guys that are pondering the idea of divorce, better reconsider again. Divorce is really expensive. It is like chopping an arm and a leg of our wealth.

Of cos, some can be gua lan and ignore all court orders. My ah-beng friend threw away all court orders. He said he already gave away his condo. From time to time, his ex-wife still requests for more money through lawyer.

that's the way

 

[Char_Kuey]

That's why I'll never look for woman who are very close to family.
I just bought a 3 room hdb myself this year, and fully used up all the rooms. I'll only marry if the other party does not want children and not a mothers/fathers girl.
If parents in law say want to come move in, I'll jolly well tell them to farrk off. I'll break up if they can't compromise.
My house my rules.
I'm not going to sacrifice my remaining lifetime over some 'family' duties.
Life is short. I don't need toxic family members. I don't need children of my own.

a lot sinkie dinobus do this.. normally have 1 or 2 sisters every weekend play mahjong until reach age nobody want marry

 

[BaChorMee]

Those guys that are pondering the idea of divorce, better reconsider again. Divorce is really expensive. It is like chopping an arm and a leg of our wealth.

Of cos, some can be gua lan and ignore all court orders. My ah-beng friend threw away all court orders. He said he already gave away his condo. From time to time, his ex-wife still requests for more money through lawyer.

A good example is Marcus Chin. At his age should be retirement but he is still working non-stop to pay maintenance not just to one but 2 ex-wives

 

[Char_Kuey]

Yes.. it is my fault for still end up going ahead. useless and stupid..
until i met my current wife and understand how a relationship should and family life is suppose to be.. she also dont understand what i kind of person i am in the past to go tru all these as she comes from a very normal family.

some sinkie family know how to game and bully other families one.. chiu just super insexperienced

 

[Char_Kuey]

Yes I have a friend who pak tor for 9 years. In the end, she chose out. Because cannot. She eventually found another guy and got married. Is happier now.

I also have friends who after dating >7 years, feel cannot but decided to just go ahead. Got married. In the end, unhappy. Divorced.

Marriage has to be a correct match. It is not about speed, who get BTO first. Do it wrong, it is very painful to unwind. Set yourself back 10 years

like playing bingo.. speed not use.. 9/10 fastest cannot 10/10 also no bingo.. then watch others collect prize

 

[li9ht5peed]

u r v beta.

from the start, u should ban her parent from coming in, war them from the start.

u keep REN REN REN, till your new wife n new kid suffer also..

too late.

i wouldn't ban anyone from coming to my home, even if they brought knives

u have to study their whims and fancies, apply human science and seek iteratively for solutions. every living creature can be manipulated. every person's mind can be adjusted. you just need to find the key. i never had much problems in my marriage and with in-laws. my mom was tough but she's my mum and there is only one mum

once you found the key, things should be smooth sailing. human assets are the most valuable and profitable. tune their demeanor into something positive and huat together. why make enemies within your own family?

everything in life is just a game

 

[li9ht5peed]

A good example is Marcus Chin. At his age should be retirement but he is still working non-stop to pay maintenance not just to one but 2 ex-wives

lol singing non stop, and giving singing lessons to wealthy ppl

 

[Teyemittisi]

Just ***** start a new life away from Singapore and don’t let ex wife know. Before leaving, declare yourself as a bankrupt

 

[Muthucurry5678]

Hire PI to find out anyway if your ex wife is neglecting your son. If have, fight in court to get custody and stop giving in to her. She seems to always no $$, if she have no $$ to fight, then u will have the upper hand, u can get your lawyer to draft up a contract to stop her from taking $$ from u etc

 

[TehOPengSiuDai]

Pre Marriage


It was not all rosy and happy leading to the marriage. I am not a faithful boyfriend or anything of such prior to marriage. Due to it I am also not receiving the best treatment as a husband to be and was made to promise many things beyond my ability and expectation of a communal relationship. Such as made to promise that I will employ a helper as soon as we collect the HDB BTO. The HDB BTO selection are to be near her parents only. My parents will never come to my house to stay. The house will be use as a mahjong den for extra income as she will not want to work and the income is use as supplement to her parents as well. She also had a habit of gambling at casino which is groomed by her mother frequently visit casino in Genting. Sometimes she will take money from my safe after she lose all from her trip.

Due to many reasons, just before the marriage, I had actually withdrawn all my savings and ran away. But eventually she came and caught me back making promises to change just to go ahead with the marriage as it will make her and her family lose face if the wedding is called off.

After Marriage

Before Own House

We were married on 8th June 2013. We had stayed together at my mum house for a little while like a week or 2 before she complaint it is too small and made me move over to her parent’s house despite it being very far from my work place. I was earning a salary of $5,000 at the time.

After moving to her parent’s house, we are pressured often to produce a Child by her parents and often I was scolded by her dad especially after his nightly drinking. He needs to drink 4 bottles of beer every night. I was not ready and am still unsure about the marriage yet but we stayed frequently at MBS hotel where she had many points to exchange for rooms. Eventually we had a child and I did promise to be a good husband thereafter with the arrival of the child.

Subsequently we are called for the collection of keys for our BTO and ready to renovate. I had previously opened a design and renovation company in 2012 for her since she is in this industry and wanted her own company where she and her father are director of the company and I am not as I am working. They did not pay a single cent for the entire business and I did not get a single cent back from the business venture and was made to paid the fine for all the improperly handling of company accounts and documents over a period of 3 years where she uses the company money as her own. Thinking that we are able to do a simple renovation but she had a different idea of using the house as a showroom for business. I was also asked to take up a compress renovation loan from both Maybank and RHM bank under my name using the company self-quotation. When both loans dispense to the company, she will use part of it for the renovation and rest for money lending purposes run by her other family member. Despite me not agreeing to it, I will need to agree to the condition to provide all the expenses with her not working which will be more than what I can afford.

Moving in

As soon we moved into the new house, starting from the 2nd day, the room which is the helper rooms and future baby room is ready for the mahjong kaki to play. After finish my day work, I am to help out with the waiting service for the drinks and snack for the people playing mahjong. The helper arrived about 1 week later to help with the waiting service and to take care of the impending baby.

After the arrival of the baby on 21 April 2014, I am delighted and forgot about everything which became status quo and the household expenses increases as well and there were more mahjong day and night with smoking in the rooms and throughout the house allowed, I am again not happy with the situation. Her parents had also moved in with us under the name to help take care of the baby and the mahjong kaki as they are all her friends and relatives.

I was working a day job but am made to take care of the baby at night when he cried at night and diaper changing and night feeding on most night. O’s mother is then sleeping in the same room and same bed with us. 3 weeks after the baby is born, while driving home from work I had a car accident due to falling asleep while driving just before reaching home. It happens just before a schedule for baby photo shoot session which involves her parents are part of the photoshoots as well.

When the baby is 5 months old, we had a trip to Genting where they all for the gambling activities. I am left to take care of the baby with the helper and was told to sleep on the same bed with the baby being in the middle to prevent from falling off. It is something which I can’t get over but I can’t do anything about it as I had previously made a scene in casino before marriage even to a point of begging her to stop gambling and was blamed by her entire family for spoiling their mood and causing them to lose money.

Subsequently I had changed job which requires me to work day and night sometimes. I would spend my time not working with T and would like to shower him and play with him but was pushed away saying I did not know what to do. I did not have the chance to groom how I want my child to be. When I express my unhappiness, I will be told off to look after him full time and stop working while finding my own ways to provide for the family if I want how my child grows up according to what I expect if not then leave it to other and make others live easier. When I wanted to play with my child at night, I remember clearly that O’’s father will shout at T asking him to stop playing with me or he will beat him and I just walk away.

We had a holiday with just us and the helper without her parents around and it was a happy time. That is the only one time. After her parents moved in with us, my weekend is always waking up to the sound of mahjong and am not allowed to sleep late even I work late as need to wake up to help with the house. I am not allowed to watch TV in the living room as the mahjong kaki will complaint, I am disturbing their game. Sexual intercourse is also non-existence as there are never alone time and the bedroom door can’t never be lock since the mother will need access to the cashbox for money changing service for the mahjong kaki.

Even though it is my house, I have no position and no say to anything. When my family and mum visit me at my house, they will not feel welcomed and often seeing I don’t have enough to eat when I finish work and get home. After the first year, they had told me about it and stop visiting me and their grandchild. I am like an additional servant that is at home to bring water and do all sort of things after the helper sleep for both O and her mum. I am told that I have to be filial to her parents as she is the only daughter and even, I don’t look after my parents there will be other siblings to look after.

TS, before marriage already knew she was a gambler and come from gambler family? Why would you even think of settling down with someone with this kind of background and somemore agree to let your house become a mahjong den? And no kids yet but still need helper? So many red flags. Sorry I still cannot understand why you went ahead with marriage or even why you were still staying on with her.

 

[moonlighter_sg]

A good example is Marcus Chin. At his age should be retirement but he is still working non-stop to pay maintenance not just to one but 2 ex-wives

Poor Marcus. He is not going to outlive her 2 ex-wives. It also means he has no chance to retire.

 

[rider83]

Go court fight case. Focus on the fact that your ex wife sold the HDB and got the max benefits while u had nothing. Ask court to allow u to stop paying monthly maintenance or reduce.

Also ask your current wife to help testify against your ex on the ordeals dealt to u, your wife and your younger son due to unreasonable demands.

 

[Philipkee]

thats why i never did the divorce procedure

she got no ways to find me

technically we are still legally married

i only paid the BTO instalment via CPF, which in a way cheaper than whatever alimony sh*t

she cant sell the BTO flat without me as well....I shall see who can outlast longer

Out of curiosity, aren’t you paying the cpf? So can’t she trace from there (where did the cpf contributions come from?) to you?

And if you really hide your trail well, can’t she just have you declared dead and then claim your cpf and flat since she is still your wife and now a widow? It’s not like you are gonna contest it since to contest it would reveal where you are.

https://singaporelegaladvice.com/la...t least 7 years,& Checkpoints Authority (ICA).

 

[nincomp00p]

Just ***** start a new life away from Singapore and don’t let ex wife know. Before leaving, declare yourself as a bankrupt

DEY... You cannot leave Singapore once you are a declared bankrupt

 

[Itsnotfunny]

Never marry a gambler. Rule no. 1.

 

[eflash]

Go overseas and live there.. start afresh. Come back in 5 years time and maybe u might feel better. You can still pay your monthly commitments through bank transfer. But without seeing your son and her, it may break off whatever emotional ties and you can think clearer. Beats being depressed here.

Buy a one way ticket, sell your possessions and go off

The poor son seems like being used as a pawn.
If he cuts contact... Not sure what will happen to the son...