Childless Marriage

[ZedMaster]

the worst mentality to have when you choose to have kids is banking on them to take care of you when you're old. to this, i say to those parents fck you.

you should choose to have kids only to nurture and love them, to bring them up to be good people in society, not as a money tree or shelter for you when you're old.

to have those kind of expectations is being a selfish person. if they treat you well when you're old, that's a bonus, not a must.

I have a friend like you and I have heard the same coming from him. I didn't know what to say to him then. And I still don't know what to say.

 

[Grampa]

Those that say need to have child because:

1) need someone to take care of them when old
2) need someone to play with as relationship gets stale
3) need someone to hug to sleep

is advisable not to have kids.

 

[LamborghiniGallardo]

Zed,how did u prevent yr 7th child?use condom?????

 

[sugaricing83]

Actually everyone like to pass their own judgement on others who don't have kids. Are they infertile? Is it their marriage got issue? If they old liao very cham, nobody to take care of them. Nobody to send them off at their funeral. Blah blah blah.

But the truth is, how many married couples stay together only because of kids and they no longer love each other? Maybe every day hug boyfriend/girlfriend outside, only when go home then pretend to be a good parent/husband?

With kids, how you know that the kid will stay with you till your last breath? Sekali kena accident and up lorry earlier than you, or give you lots of heartaches by creating problems in school or even chase you out of the house.

 

[水上漂流花瓣]

always go for at least 1 child. no matter whether the couple wants or don't want a child.

Pro is
1) Friday night and weekend is all yours to plan for fun
2) can sleep late late, no need to bother about child bedtime
3) can eat all the junk food, anytime, any place without worrying about setting bad example for the child
4) all your money is spent on yourself
5) got more time to hang out with your childless friends

Con is
1) people will ask u about it during CNY
2) people will say you two got problem behind your back
3) no sucker to take care of you, provided you know how to raise a child well
4) will be quite sad when people seem to have 'progressed' in life with raising their own family.
5) the other spouse will be absolutely lonely when your other half has passed on.
6) will not know the joy of your own child hugging you in your sleep

Frankly speaking, only pt 5 & 6 of cons make sense.

The others are simply the fugging opinions of other ppl. Do I give a fug? And i find it disgusting that you treat children as insurance? Have children for the sake of giving them the best instead of expecting then to give you the best.

 

[ZedMaster]

I think our food n resources are dwindling at the rate we're consuming them.

As for not wanting kids.... I think it's fair play for married couples who have chosen that choice.

Some don't like kids. Some just aren't parent material. Maybe some are just too busy or are not in the right environment or circumstance to have kids, like having a high risk job. Some just wanna enjoy their lives, I don't see the wrong in that. I don't think not having kids is irresponsible in anyway to society or to the human race or to their own parents etc... As long as the couple is happy and not doing anybody harm

I think the love and strong relationship between the couple is more important than having kids.

It's a regression of the society nonetheless if enough people of the society are having one or more of the few reasons you have cited. A case in hand would be Singapore.

Our society is regressing because our Chinese couples are not having enough children due to the reasons you've cited.

 

[ZedMaster]

Zed,how did u prevent yr 7th child?use condom?????

LOL... who says I am preventing?

I would like another baby, really.

 

[keigo22]

cost of living lah.
last time one bowl of noodle $2 nia. now every single thing cost double or even triple.

rubbish, last time 1 bowl of noodle is 1 cents and you think they earn high income. Their salary also like $1~2 only.

The cost of living is always there. It is the expectation and choice of living life style is different that is pushing life hard and people heavy in debt. And when they out of job, the debt will kill them big time.

 

[chenaz]

u go check HDB website first then come and tell me can buy or cannot buy HDB.

marriage without kids= marriage without commitment.
kids is the outcome of a relationship and commitment.
u commit to her future/her parents and kids. not commit to a her only.
ur marriage is not just u and her. is the ppl around u and her.

Dun marry how to buy HDB? Marriage can be a commitment between the couple who just want to be together with each other.

 

[lifetolifeless]

Actually everyone like to pass their own judgement on others who don't have kids. Are they infertile? Is it their marriage got issue? If they old liao very cham, nobody to take care of them. Nobody to send them off at their funeral. Blah blah blah.

But the truth is, how many married couples stay together only because of kids and they no longer love each other? Maybe every day hug boyfriend/girlfriend outside, only when go home then pretend to be a good parent/husband?

With kids, how you know that the kid will stay with you till your last breath? Sekali kena accident and up lorry earlier than you, or give you lots of heartaches by creating problems in school or even chase you out of the house.

+1QFT

Sent from friendzone using GAGT

 

[Tsoukalos]

One of the reasons why I think it's better to have more than one kid.

If you have one, sekali the kid gets sick permanently or killed how? Say died at the age of 10 or 15 due to an accident. Then couple is too old to have another. Becomes lonely, 'investment' gone. We've all read news reports of how children gets into accidents so often

Or if the kid grows uo, migrates, leave the parents behind, doesn't visit or look after them....

If u have 2 kids, at least there's a backup.

2 kids = backup?

http://www.allsingaporestuff.com/article/jobless-man-held-elderly-mother-hostage-threaten-kill-her-standoff-3-hours-police

This poor woman has 2 sons. Another one is in jail for drug off3nses

 

[FrogGreen]

Actually everyone like to pass their own judgement on others who don't have kids. Are they infertile? Is it their marriage got issue? If they old liao very cham, nobody to take care of them. Nobody to send them off at their funeral. Blah blah blah.

But the truth is, how many married couples stay together only because of kids and they no longer love each other? Maybe every day hug boyfriend/girlfriend outside, only when go home then pretend to be a good parent/husband?

With kids, how you know that the kid will stay with you till your last breath? Sekali kena accident and up lorry earlier than you, or give you lots of heartaches by creating problems in school or even chase you out of the house.

wow bro you have a very forward thinking mind.

in Singapore, we have very weird social norms.

Go to school must go JC. after JC must go Uni. Reach 30 must get married. Get married must have kids. I mean who set this rules? Why marriage must have kids? some people are not meant to procreate.

 

[Tsoukalos]

Actually everyone like to pass their own judgement on others who don't have kids. Are they infertile? Is it their marriage got issue? If they old liao very cham, nobody to take care of them. Nobody to send them off at their funeral. Blah blah blah.

But the truth is, how many married couples stay together only because of kids and they no longer love each other? Maybe every day hug boyfriend/girlfriend outside, only when go home then pretend to be a good parent/husband?

With kids, how you know that the kid will stay with you till your last breath? Sekali kena accident and up lorry earlier than you, or give you lots of heartaches by creating problems in school or even chase you out of the house.

I got a friend who hold on only for kid. They can chase each other ard house trying to kill each other

 

[alwaysonmymind0920]

Actually everyone like to pass their own judgement on others who don't have kids. Are they infertile? Is it their marriage got issue? If they old liao very cham, nobody to take care of them. Nobody to send them off at their funeral. Blah blah blah.

But the truth is, how many married couples stay together only because of kids and they no longer love each other? Maybe every day hug boyfriend/girlfriend outside, only when go home then pretend to be a good parent/husband?

With kids, how you know that the kid will stay with you till your last breath? Sekali kena accident and up lorry earlier than you, or give you lots of heartaches by creating problems in school or even chase you out of the house.

wow bro you have a very forward thinking mind.

in Singapore, we have very weird social norms.

Go to school must go JC. after JC must go Uni. Reach 30 must get married. Get married must have kids. I mean who set this rules? Why marriage must have kids?

these two edmwers deserved a medal each!

 

[FakeTan]

All I can comment is both me and my husband sacrificed alot for our child. Sometime i look back and miss the old life where I can travel with my friends, go out as when we wish to, travel without a worry at all.

But then again, whenever i look at him, there is just so much love and happiness. It is a fulfillment in life, never mind about the travelling and enjoyment. You can miss the YOLO days, but what you get out of having kids are fulfillment and happiness, which is priceless.

 

[ZedMaster]

I got a friend who hold on only for kid. They can chase each other ard house trying to kill each other

Sometimes, it's better to split for the sake of the kid.

 

[chenaz]

cost of living lah.
last time one bowl of noodle $2 nia. now every single thing cost double or even triple.

those complaining living cost is high is a loser.

u see malayu earn how much only? still giving birth non stop.

ur cost of living is depends on wat kind of lifestyle u want to be in.
not only sg and malaysia also the same. chinese want big car big house eat good stuffs.work so hard just for that.malayu there small house small car eat normal things and enjoying life. still more happy than chinese.

 

[水上漂流花瓣]

wow bro you have a very forward thinking mind.

in Singapore, we have very weird social norms.

Go to school must go JC. after JC must go Uni. Reach 30 must get married. Get married must have kids. I mean who set this rules? Why marriage must have kids? some people are not meant to procreate.

This is due to human's primal, atavistic instincts to propagate. If someone tells me it is a must to have children, I say that person has not evolved yet.

 

[gnoes85]

rubbish, last time 1 bowl of noodle is 1 cents and you think they earn high income. Their salary also like $1~2 only.

The cost of living is always there. It is the expectation and choice of living life style is different that is pushing life hard and people heavy in debt. And when they out of job, the debt will kill them big time.

Yes, it is the parents(girl side mostly)mentality that changed.
Last time female not that educated, their blood is auto take care house & children one.

 

[Tsoukalos]

Sometimes, it's better to split for the sake of the kid.

Typical reason... dun want kid to get hurt or grow up without complete family.

Pls lah u think nowadays kids like our generation gong gong guni hoon meh? They smarter than chiu somemore. Hold on for sake of holding on is even more suffering