CPF nomination question

[henrylbh]

Haha i really think my wife will quit her job and take care of our kids if I’m gone, despite only having $200k inheritance from my cpf…..

In fact, after reading about this, I’m half incline to change my nominations to my mum too…..

Then my mum can use the money and be the food provider to my kids.
And my wife can continue her current work to earn money to pay for utilities and other stuff.

Then you must have no trust or low opinion of your wife or she is a dumb in your mind

 

[Bam25th]

Then you must have no trust or low opinion of your wife or she is a dumb in your mind

She is good and very capable at her job, but very poor at managing money and is very very financially incapable.

So, I always find it a waste if she stop doing what she is good at, which is her current job.

Apart from her job and being together with me, she can’t manage money for nuts. Don’t even know how to pay bills. Don’t even know how to cook. Don’t even have patience to take care of kids.

Not that I’m complaining, cause everyone got their strengths and weaknesses. And those weaknesses can be mitigated, like putting my mum in charge of cooking for example.

 

[henrylbh]

All my asset will go to my wife, with 15% CPF going to my adult kid. With my death, my wife is likely to continue working even though with her and my assets, she will be considered very comfortable and likely to donate to charity.

 

[henrylbh]

She is good and very capable at her job, but very poor at managing money and is very very financially incapable.

So, I always find it a waste if she stop doing what she is good at, which is her current job.

Apart from her job and being together with me, she can’t manage money for nuts. Don’t even know how to pay bills. Don’t even know how to cook. Don’t even have patience to take care of kids.

Not that I’m complaining, cause everyone got their strengths and weaknesses. And those weaknesses can be mitigated, like putting my mum in charge of cooking for example.

Then you should consider making a trust or include children in your CPF nomination. Surely she will or forced to learn to manage when you are gone.

 

[qhong61]

It is a game plan she need to decide. If suey kena new man also cancer versus man help to feed the 3 kids? Maybe kena second time cancer hubby but got monies go to your friend after he died no rugi what.

Alternatively would be remain as now work 2 jobs give allowance. Hope she don't fall sick due to working 2 jobs then see the dead hubby mum side got give monies treat your friend medical or not

Wh

It’s much harder to quit job to take care of kids, and then when money gone, to find job.

And by then, no money already, who is going to pay for the groceries? Now, the mother can still pay for groceries with the inheritance.

Essentially, the mother is taking over the role of the dead husband in providing food for the kids.

Mum not paying for groceries.

 

[qhong61]

The mother may not also be financially prudent/savvy and if she dies, her estate, without will, will go to all her own children. Unlikely the mother will make a will to return the CPF/insurance to the DIL and her grandchildren. The man had time to make plan while he was living with cancer. One way is to make a trust to control the distribution of assets over a period of time. He could even include children in his CPF/insurance nomination instead of solely to the mother.

U are right.
She only found out she is not the beneficiary after his death.
She took care of him for few yrs.

 

[qhong61]

Without knowing the background, I view the husband as not a man. Married with 3 kids still nominated mother as beneficiary of his CPF and insurance and let wife to care for him with cancer and then to fan for herself and the 3 kids when he is gone. If I were the wife, the marriage was a sad affair with a husband like no husband. Surely, the kids will not respect the father's decision when seeing their mum taking two jobs to keep the children and no life of her own. With cancer, the husband still had time to make plan to care for his wife and children as well as his mother, if the latter still depends on him financially.

Quite true. No life of her own.

 

[fr33d0m]

All my asset will go to my wife, with 15% CPF going to my adult kid. With my death, my wife is likely to continue working even though with her and my assets, she will be considered very comfortable and likely to donate to charity.

It seems that you certainly did not have a mum who worked 2 jobs to raise you and your siblings after the death of husband.

Under such circumstances, the Mum deserves a well-funded retirement after the death of the son.

 

[henrylbh]

Any responsible man would try to provide for his dependants with financial security even if the wife is working. I provide my spouse with enough to retire though she is still working and have her own assets enough to retire without my estate.

My mum died young and never had to work. She got 7 children and was told to ligate after the 7th child. She was fond of gambling, day and even nite. My house was raided by police. Incidentally, my father engaged a tutor for me and it happened that the tutor's son was the officer who led raid of my house.

 

[sohguanh]

Wh
Mum not paying for groceries.

U are right.
She only found out she is not the beneficiary after his death.
She took care of him for few yrs.

Quite true. No life of her own.

You just provide more info of your friend case.
1. hubby during cancer period has time (unless sick until coma not waking up?) to make nomination but will to his mum and wife dunno until his death
2. mum get the monies but not paying for groceries and still take allowance from wife. mum just in charge to cook make sure her grandchildren don't go hungry
3. wife take on 2 jobs

My own take is the dead hubby a bit overboard. You is not immediate die you drag and then you know how tough is for the care-giver? Anyone in that role will swear it is NOT easy. Then you die leave monies give mum. Then mum still ask monies for allowance and groceries paid by wife. Wife no choice need to take 2 jobs.

In this strategy it is a win-win game for dead hubby side and lose-lose game for wife. Legally there is nothing wrong in this arrangement but somehow I feel a bit rugi on wife side. My thinking if I am in wife shoes is simple. Children O level finish can work already no need ask them study so high. Then wife less financial burden can go find another new man. Mum cannot be so mean to demand the wife to remain widow forever? Or she is hoping wife work until die so can accompany dead son in the other world?

 

[sohguanh]

Difference in values between me and you bah.

I, for one, wouldn’t continue paying for an adult son of my wife’s previous marriage. Not that I’m in that situation.

No right no wrong, just that I feel it’s kumgong. But that’s me and my values

Now you know why when young always hear elderly gossiping about why man should not marry wife (divorced,dead husband) kind. Reason is the kids. If the kids come along who is going to feed? The man of cuz and the man is helping other man to feed other man children? It is a super rugi business.

That is also why when women (got kids from previous marriage or dead hubby) when want to find another new man always wanted to know if the new man can accept. Some will just abandon the kids and pursue her next happiness. Then the dead hubby side old ppl will curse the former daughter in law no loyalty all kinds of nasty names and inject poison into the children mind of their mean mother dun wan them when young. Children grow up hate their own biological mother.

Such scenario has always been acted in drama serial and it is always happening in reality. 戏如人生人生如戏

 

[sohguanh]

It’s always very complicated to be in love with a woman with kids from past marriage, be it dead or divorced.

The expectations of the hubby towards the kids must be aligned.

Some women are ok with the new hubby not providing for the kids cause they are independent enough to provide for the kids themselves, and just want the new hubby’s love for themselves.

Some women want to marry precisely to find men to provide and care for their kids.

As a naive person who believe in true love, I respect the first type and steer clear of the second type. Cause for the second type, I’m sceptical that the lady marry cause of love for the guy, or marry because of love for the kids. If it’s marry for love for the kids, then how can you grow old with her? Decades later, when the kids grow up and move out, the only 2 ppl left are the old couple, who did not really marry out of love for each other…..

The problem is sometimes you are so deeply in love you forget to know the intention of the lady is first or second type. You thought is first type then decades later her children all can work already she leave you then you realize all along she is the second type. By that time too late, you already invested so much monies into her and her children.

One way to get back is also ask the lady to also give birth your children so if she run road at least you still got your own kids never rugi much. But some of these ladies smart say last time give birth nearly die so scared to give birth kind of sweet reason and you so in love you believe her. But this route got con becuz if she agree you lagi jialat need to feed your own children + her former marriage (be it divorced or dead hubby) children you work until die!

 

[BBCWatcher]

For example, I will worry a lot to leave my inheritance to my wife. She’s not very independent and know nothing about financial stuff. Don’t even know how to pay bills etc.

If leave her with money, scare she kena scammed or wasteful. Worse is she don’t work and spend money carelessly. After few years, maybe before the kids grow up and start working, the money would be gone.

If you're really worried about this scenario then Henry made some suggestions, and I'll expand on them. In no particular order:

1. The CPF Enhanced Nomination Scheme is available. Your CPF nominee(s) can receive deposits into their CPF accounts instead of cash. Standard account limits apply, and the residuals (if any) will be distributed to your nominee(s) as cash. The CPF ENS is mostly about assuring that your heir(s) will have CPF LIFE income streams in their futures.

2. Yes, you could set up a trust, although that's a bit complicated. You might be able to do this fairly simply together with a charity in something called a "charitable remainder trust." For example, you could instruct the charity to invest your donation in Singapore Government Securities with a minimum of 10 years until maturity. All coupons (or maybe 99% of coupons, so the charity can cover its administrative costs) must be paid to your survivors as long as they live, and all maturing SGSes must be reinvested in SGSes. When your final heir is deceased the charity receives all remaining value in the SGSes.

3. I haven't checked into it, but you might be able to leave instructions that (for example) a substantial portion of your estate should be used to buy a single premium immediate life annuity from a life insurer in Singapore with your wife as beneficiary. And/or additional single premium immediate life annuities for other members of the household. Preferably escalating life annuities. This way they'll each have reliable lifetime income.

So, if parents still young and healthy, and financially prudent/savvy, I may consider leaving my inheritance to them with explicit instructions for the money to be used on the kids.

That's a big "if," though. You ought to anticipate that a parent will pass on well before the end of the relevant time period that you're trying to support. I think in general it's better to set up a more reliable arrangement.

 

[luckygal]

U are right.
She only found out she is not the beneficiary after his death.
She took care of him for few yrs.

That man had all the time to make a proper will but he didn’t. He really sabo his wife big time. If I were the wife, would cut off ties with the husband side of people and change surname of the kids. Why take your surname if you didn’t contribute much. Useless bumps.

 

[therat]

You just provide more info of your friend case.
1. hubby during cancer period has time (unless sick until coma not waking up?) to make nomination but will to his mum and wife dunno until his death
2. mum get the monies but not paying for groceries and still take allowance from wife. mum just in charge to cook make sure her grandchildren don't go hungry
3. wife take on 2 jobs

My own take is the dead hubby a bit overboard. You is not immediate die you drag and then you know how tough is for the care-giver? Anyone in that role will swear it is NOT easy. Then you die leave monies give mum. Then mum still ask monies for allowance and groceries paid by wife. Wife no choice need to take 2 jobs.

In this strategy it is a win-win game for dead hubby side and lose-lose game for wife. Legally there is nothing wrong in this arrangement but somehow I feel a bit rugi on wife side. My thinking if I am in wife shoes is simple. Children O level finish can work already no need ask them study so high. Then wife less financial burden can go find another new man. Mum cannot be so mean to demand the wife to remain widow forever? Or she is hoping wife work until die so can accompany dead son in the other world?

I dont think the MIL bother about this DIL.
She only care her grandchild and still want DIL to give her allowance.
As for the husband, he only care his children. He scare his wife got the money and get a new husband.

Both equally selfish.

The wife should stop giving allowance.
Is the house belong to her?
Or under the dead husband and his mother.

 

[qhong61]

I dont think the MIL bother about this DIL.
She only care her grandchild and still want DIL to give her allowance.
As for the husband, he only care his children. He scare his wife got the money and get a new husband.

Both equally selfish.

The wife should stop giving allowance.
Is the house belong to her?
Or under the dead husband and his mother.

Was hers and husband.
Now hers alone.

 

[sohguanh]

I dont think the MIL bother about this DIL.
She only care her grandchild and still want DIL to give her allowance.
As for the husband, he only care his children. He scare his wife got the money and get a new husband.

Both equally selfish.

The wife should stop giving allowance.
Is the house belong to her?
Or under the dead husband and his mother.

Good question house and monies. Monies already go to mum. House will depend on qhong61 to provide more info. So you do agree this game is win-win for the dead hubby side family right? If wife stop giving allowance, the mum will say is it you outside got new man already? Then quarrel sure arise. From qhong61 provided info, the kids are O level 16 years (assume this is the youngest), I think the wife can leave earlier as kids all close to grown up. If not work 2 jobs sure work until health issues surface. Then the mum "secretly laugh" finally my daughter in law can accompany my dead son in the other world?

 

[sohguanh]

Was hers and husband.
Now hers alone.

Oooh so the dead hubby will monies to mum but house to her is it? This important info you left out leh. So the dead hubby not so mean after all.

 

[qhong61]

Good question house and monies. Monies already go to mum. House will depend on qhong61 to provide more info. So you do agree this game is win-win for the dead hubby side family right? If wife stop giving allowance, the mum will say is it you outside got new man already? Then quarrel sure arise. From qhong61 provided info, the kids are O level 16 years (assume this is the youngest), I think the wife can leave earlier as kids all close to grown up. If not work 2 jobs sure work until health issues surface. Then the mum "secretly laugh" finally my daughter in law can accompany my dead son in the other world?

Now kids serving NS.
After NS if can, should be going uni.

 

[qhong61]

Oooh so the dead hubby will monies to mum but house to her is it? This important info you left out leh. So the dead hubby not so mean after all.

The house both paid equally.
His mum got her own flat.