My first date experience, how should I continue on?

[Encouragesome1]

谈钱伤感情。My dates usually is I offer to treat her first. Then she treat me back. Even if the values dun match, doesnt matter it’s the thoughts that count. But to straight out say dutch is sure reduce to lunch buddies liao. But if she doesnt ever try to reciprocate then sorry ler. No one likes to be treated like carrot. Especially when you feel the relationship is going nowhere. After maybe 3 times, then bye bye.

Same thought

Even if I feel rs going nowhere I will try give it two meets to confirm really can’t gam, at least one feel reciprocated. It’s tnglang way 礼尚往来 and courtesy

 

[Jaylim123]

I think u should wait for girl to jio you out. Cos they will tell where n ask feedback from the group before deciding the place n decide who pays right from start. Usually for a mah old ppl crowd the one who jio is the one who pay. Those who earn less we Blanja them or we told them right from start it’s a treat from us. No take for granted no guessing. It’s all known from before the outing is firmed up

If I keep waiting for her to jio me out idk when it will happen and whether will happen anot

 

[Monstruo^]

Both, simultaneously?

Different timeline haha. One ish local, one ish not.
I rem I made simi avocado sandwiches. Eggs. And bought berries etc. Fruit juice. Actually you can DIY whatever. The thing ish the weather.

Simultaneous ones… I got did dates with two women before, they don’t mind leh. And they know each other. Aiya duno how it turned out that way also. We were all playful.

 

[Encouragesome1]

If I keep waiting for her to jio me out idk when it will happen and whether will happen anot

My thought is 99 % won’t, u wait other ppl to like you then they might jio you. But if you overly geygao with everyone in your life right, maybe only yr mom will jio u

 

[Monstruo^]

No bro. Now got update! TS says if the date goes out with him again, maybe this time he will pay first and see if she will pay him back!

I know ah. That’s what he replied to me mah. Haha. I asked him some questions as I’m curious about his logic, and he replied me what you said.

 

[bochup84]

If the girl want to have a pleasant date without shocking surprises, she should also hold some responsibility and ask if the guy is treating or they're going dutch. And also ask where they're going for the dinner, and assess what's the food price to see if she'd be ok to pay if they go dutch. She can't assume the guy is treating and then feel unhappy she ended up got to pay for her own meal.

Actually, I think you are assuming a lot about our TS's date. Maybe she didn't assume, and she is ok to pay cos she did pay, and it didn't sound like she gave him a hard time. She didn't stomp off. And she did send him a msg that she had to leave. Polite girl wor.

She need not be unhappy, but she can still decide that perhaps TS is not what she is looking for. And it's not about money per se, more about whether they have same vibes. Eg, I have a colleague who married a very giam siap man. So when they travel, the differences show. Like bring kid to USJ, my colleague bought the mario kart pop corn bucket for her kid cos the kid was so excited to see it and it is really very cute lar. Yes, it is expensive lar, but she was the one who paid for it, and they could afford it. But when husband saw the son with the pop corn bucket, immediately black face, and then the rest of the day at the theme park, the kid felt meh and didn't really enjoy playing cos whole time father staring black face at his mario kart pop corn bucket. My colleague also sian.

So if the mindset about money not the same, then don't force lar. TS should find another girl same one, best if she is the kind that keeps track of finances with an excel spreadsheet.

 

[bochup84]

If his mind only worried about whether ger will auto pay back or foot the bill on the spot

Doesn't seems right leh other aspect not impt? Got common topic etc

I think the money mind not aligned. He needs a girl who keeps track of dollars and cents with an excel spreadsheet, then they both can get excited about saving money and keeping the account balanced. Is got people liddat one, I see before. Happiness is when the right types get together.

 

[Monstruo^]

Sound like lunch buddy

But even lunch kakis also sometimes will treat each other.

That’s true. Take turns to treat. Sometimes pay more sometimes pay less. Not every meal ish the same mah. But I think TS expects the date to pay back same range or even pay same price with 3 decimal points. Mybfd

 

[Jaylim123]

My thought is 99 % won’t, u wait other ppl to like you then they might jio you. But if you overly geygao with everyone in your life right, maybe only yr mom will jio u

So now I try my luck and jio her again lah, see whether she will accept anot.

 

[glarerder]

Actually, I think you are assuming a lot about our TS's date. Maybe she didn't assume, and she is ok to pay cos she did pay, and it didn't sound like she gave him a hard time. She didn't stomp off. And she did send him a msg that she had to leave. Polite girl wor.

She need not be unhappy, but she can still decide that perhaps TS is not what she is looking for. And it's not about money per se, more about whether they have same vibes. Eg, I have a colleague who married a very giam siap man. So when they travel, the differences show. Like bring kid to USJ, my colleague bought the mario kart pop corn bucket for her kid cos the kid was so excited to see it and it is really very cute lar. Yes, it is expensive lar, but she was the one who paid for it, and they could afford it. But when husband saw the son with the pop corn bucket, immediately black face, and then the rest of the day at the theme park, the kid felt meh and didn't really enjoy playing cos whole time father staring black face at his mario kart pop corn bucket. My colleague also sian.

So if the mindset about money not the same, then don't force lar. TS should find another girl same one, best if she is the kind that keeps track of finances with an excel spreadsheet.

If she's not unhappy, she would have waited for ts. How long would it take to wait for him to exit the toilet that she got to go urgently? Urgent and busy are just convenient excuses to ditch and not talk to the people you don't want to talk to. Face the truth. She is unhappy.

Think about it when someone is busy, they'd reschedule if they really want the meetup to take place. Same for urgent. She'd have communicated in greater detail what she had to deal with. Without all those, it's simply an excuse to leave.

Taking responsibility is to be proactive in deciding the meet up together and not just going there without having to talk about it beforehand. She doesn't have the maturity in doing that and also left without waiting for TS to exit. Very likely she doesn't care about meeting him again.

 

[bochup84]

If I keep waiting for her to jio me out idk when it will happen and whether will happen anot

This is true, especially if you two met on dating app. As a former dating app veteran, auntie can tell you that we get like a dozen of profiles every afternoon. So unless you are andy lau or you make a great first impression ....

You need to work harder if you like her. Cos it is starting to seems like you do like her. And a nice girl gets potong jalan very fast one.

 

[Encouragesome1]

So now I try my luck and jio her again lah, see whether she will accept anot.

Go with your heart - if u feel this is right just go do it n learn from own mistakes n improve from there

 

[Jaylim123]

Go with your heart - if u feel this is right just go do it n learn from own mistakes n improve from there

Provided she give me another chance lor

 

[Monstruo^]

Oh like that ah. If $10-$20 meal you ok to take turns to treat.

But for a price point of $40, you not ok liao? Why ah? Is it because you are afraid that when it comes to her turn to treat, she disappears? Then you lugi?

@Jaylim123
Can answer these questions mah? I’m curious

 

[Monstruo^]

I think the money mind not aligned. He needs a girl who keeps track of dollars and cents with an excel spreadsheet, then they both can get excited about saving money and keeping the account balanced. Is got people liddat one, I see before. Happiness is when the right types get together.

Yes sia. I know got people like that too.
走火入魔 hahahahaha

 

[Nevereatrice]

I think u should wait for girl to jio you out.

 

[Sumimasen]

If she's not unhappy, she would have waited for ts. How long would it take to wait for him to exit the toilet that she got to go urgently? Urgent and busy are just convenient excuses to ditch and not talk to the people you don't want to talk to. Face the truth. She is unhappy.

Taking responsibility is to be proactive in deciding the meet up together and not just going there without having to talk about it beforehand. She doesn't have the maturity in doing that and also left without waiting for TS to exit. Very likely she doesn't care about meeting him again.

Why u anything also can find fault one?

Wah piang

 

[Sumimasen]

So now I try my luck and jio her again lah, see whether she will accept anot.

U need edmwer to help u press your hp huh? Just do it why need validation here?

 

[Encouragesome1]

Provided she give me another chance lor

If she doesn’t you can learn from whatever you already learnt here and from yr interaction when she were there with you.

 

[bochup84]

Why u anything also can find fault one?

Wah piang

He likes to have the last say. Let him be bah.
But I think if the girl unhappy, she would have left after paying the bill.