Divorce advise. Help please

[zheng]

we divorce right hand and left hand here. Wrong forum to ask advice

sorry i got one diamond in each hand....
can hold? moi dun wanna divorce

 

[Joseph12]

Thank you so much

Reason for divorce: loveless, sexless marriage since years. For her it’s fine, but for my individual well being it kills me every day to live in a lifeless partnership.

am a Singapore PR with 2 kids.
there is a hdb resale flat in picture which is under minimum occupation period ending at Dec 2027
My spouse doesn’t wish to end marriage.

with respect to kids we are sorted she will take the kids back home country and care of them.

the biggest issue is HDB flat she threatens me, she will destroy everything and return back flat to HDB at the prevailing market price . She don’t want to transfer her share to my son or daughter by taking her share back from me.

For the HDB and renovation I have all the bills and bank statements. 90% money has been contributed by me. She is using that to make me stuck in the marriage.

I have given her multiple offers on alimony, give her back her share, taking care of kids finance for life, but she turns back and say she don’t want to talk divorce.

please advise anything. Is there a way to reduce my losses on the Hdb flat. Please advise if you know anything

Once you get the ball rolling neither you nor her can stop it

You can get a divorce on unreasonable behavior grounds.
Just embellish without lying & you can get through
Another way Is if both are effectively living separate lives like separate rooms and no interaction then can proceed on grounds of living apart

So no matter how she objects the divorce will go through

If the divorce goes through , the flat will be handled according to HDB rules
You can produce the fact 90% of money , presumably towards flat and household expenses are contributed by you
You may end up getting a bigger share of the flat
But I have a feeling she'll still get a lot of she's not working

 

[kiakiakia9]

Thank you so much

Reason for divorce: loveless, sexless marriage since years. For her it’s fine, but for my individual well being it kills me every day to live in a lifeless partnership.

am a Singapore PR with 2 kids.
there is a hdb resale flat in picture which is under minimum occupation period ending at Dec 2027
My spouse doesn’t wish to end marriage.

with respect to kids we are sorted she will take the kids back home country and care of them.

the biggest issue is HDB flat she threatens me, she will destroy everything and return back flat to HDB at the prevailing market price . She don’t want to transfer her share to my son or daughter by taking her share back from me.

For the HDB and renovation I have all the bills and bank statements. 90% money has been contributed by me. She is using that to make me stuck in the marriage.

I have given her multiple offers on alimony, give her back her share, taking care of kids finance for life, but she turns back and say she don’t want to talk divorce.

please advise anything. Is there a way to reduce my losses on the Hdb flat. Please advise if you know anything

If it's sex, then you used to do it with her, what changes?

 

[sanukboy]

You are in the wrong country for divorce my friend...
Before you plan to get divorced...
Go read up and understand abit more
about WOMEN CHARTER in Singapore first...

 

[Starcraft Terran]

Bro, how long has the sex stopped ?

Did you ask her to go to a counsellor ?

Do you want to consider saving the marriage, or have you made up your mind already ?

If you have made up your mind, you can go consult a lawyer or refer to AI chatbots.

All the best.

 

[Lolile]

bro, be honest.
you fell in love with another girl is it?

@Lavisgun , you have found another girl? Please come clean

It's selling back to HDB at about 90% of the price you paid for, not the current price.

wah . Hdb buy back at 90% 🫣I tot hdb will buy back at 100% of the original purchase price. Lose money esp if include renovation costs etc

 

[tlc.husband]

If you thinking you getting any help from edmw, then you really need help.

It may be true but it is also true that there are still some kind souls here, and I have encountered them

 

[mcylo]

If you thinking you getting any help from edmw, then you really need help.

don't like that lah, ppl desperate already

 

[Yuba84]

Actually if your wife amendable to you having sex outside but still come home should be fine? Have u discussed w wife about this? Man ma, need to have sex nothing wrong. If she can accept den no need divorce? Of cos must black and white sign agreement la.

 

[mcylo]

Aiya as a guy, if I anyhow shoot insai and get a kid, i will feel satisfied my job is done liao. Then can move on and enjoy life. Why fight or worry so much? This is the dream for all minimalists.

thats why every guy can be a ****** and not all guy can.be a father.

u are one of those ****** category

 

[tlc.husband]

Thank you so much

Reason for divorce: loveless, sexless marriage since years. For her it’s fine, but for my individual well being it kills me every day to live in a lifeless partnership.

am a Singapore PR with 2 kids.
there is a hdb resale flat in picture which is under minimum occupation period ending at Dec 2027
My spouse doesn’t wish to end marriage.

with respect to kids we are sorted she will take the kids back home country and care of them.

the biggest issue is HDB flat she threatens me, she will destroy everything and return back flat to HDB at the prevailing market price . She don’t want to transfer her share to my son or daughter by taking her share back from me.

For the HDB and renovation I have all the bills and bank statements. 90% money has been contributed by me. She is using that to make me stuck in the marriage.

I have given her multiple offers on alimony, give her back her share, taking care of kids finance for life, but she turns back and say she don’t want to talk divorce.

please advise anything. Is there a way to reduce my losses on the Hdb flat. Please advise if you know anything

Late to this thread.
Anyway TS, you will receive all kinds of advice, good ones bad ones here.
So you need to try your best to look at them objectively and filter out the negativity.

Instead of going straight for a divorce, I would suggest you earnestly have a chat with your wife to go for marriage counselling together to salvage your marriage. Since she doesn't want a divorce, I presume she still wants to keep the family together; and if there is still a want, one reason is more than enough to work things out together. Unless of course, you don't want to try or have already tried your best (including giving up your pride) - only yourself will know. Know that any decision, rash or not, your children is the victim.

Sexless, communication breakdowns, your futile attempts to reconciliation, any reasons that you can no longer reasonably lived with your wife can be used to file for divorce under unreasonable behaviour. I believe some bros have shared with you already.

For the children, why are you letting your wife have the children back to her home country?
Who is a better parent to care for the kids? If you truly believe you are the better parent, fight for them and grant access to her so that the children would still have regular access to their parents.

For the HDB flat, not very sure what is "destroy everything"? set fire to it?
It is a matrimonial asset and would be divided accordingly to both parties' contribution - direct and indirect.
Your down payment, renovation, mortgage will go towards direct contribution.

If you are bend on getting a divorce, you should engage a lawyer for sound advice.
Once you know your rights, it is way easier to navigate.
The same goes to your wife if she knows her rights.

 

[audiovideo]

Why marry in the first place?

 

[Potato_Wedges]

Best answer is here:
Sexless/meaningless marriage is easy to solve. You just join this forum so you might not know this - sexless marriage is so common in sg, and it is a topic almost every week in edmw.
But many edmwers still happily married coz they manage to eat outside with a 'happy meal'. They are able to find meaning in life by collecting all the various 'toys' in their Happy Meal.

 

[DebtfreeDilemma]

Thank you so much

Reason for divorce: loveless, sexless marriage since years. For her it’s fine, but for my individual well being it kills me every day to live in a lifeless partnership.

am a Singapore PR with 2 kids.
there is a hdb resale flat in picture which is under minimum occupation period ending at Dec 2027
My spouse doesn’t wish to end marriage.

with respect to kids we are sorted she will take the kids back home country and care of them.

the biggest issue is HDB flat she threatens me, she will destroy everything and return back flat to HDB at the prevailing market price . She don’t want to transfer her share to my son or daughter by taking her share back from me.

For the HDB and renovation I have all the bills and bank statements. 90% money has been contributed by me. She is using that to make me stuck in the marriage.

I have given her multiple offers on alimony, give her back her share, taking care of kids finance for life, but she turns back and say she don’t want to talk divorce.

please advise anything. Is there a way to reduce my losses on the Hdb flat. Please advise if you know anything

Pls provide all the ages of the couple and children

 

[RunningDwaeji]

Need divorce advice from men who have already gone through the divorce procedure To get learnings and better ways to approach the divorce.
Feel like too many ideas are going to explode my brain right now. Just going around directionless. Talking to someone with same experiences would be great help!!
appreciate if anyone can talk to me.

mutual or cheating involved?

 

[CanIsayNo]

ultimately, our society is filled with grown adults who have zero marital values, so it's hardly surprising to find failed marraiges. honestly i think it's harder to find good healthy marriages in the modern world.

most marriages have some cracks and the cracks are due to 1 or both party lacking marital values. not their fault also, because no one is taught marital values in school lol. maybe only religion teaches that, but how many will follow is another thing.

just look around at married couples, instead of really seeing each other as each one's other halves, they are living their own lives.

 

[KnyghtRyder]

Thank you so much

Reason for divorce: loveless, sexless marriage since years. For her it’s fine, but for my individual well being it kills me every day to live in a lifeless partnership.

am a Singapore PR with 2 kids.
there is a hdb resale flat in picture which is under minimum occupation period ending at Dec 2027
My spouse doesn’t wish to end marriage.

with respect to kids we are sorted she will take the kids back home country and care of them.

the biggest issue is HDB flat she threatens me, she will destroy everything and return back flat to HDB at the prevailing market price . She don’t want to transfer her share to my son or daughter by taking her share back from me.

For the HDB and renovation I have all the bills and bank statements. 90% money has been contributed by me. She is using that to make me stuck in the marriage.

I have given her multiple offers on alimony, give her back her share, taking care of kids finance for life, but she turns back and say she don’t want to talk divorce.

please advise anything. Is there a way to reduce my losses on the Hdb flat. Please advise if you know anything

if she don't want divorce why you want divorce?

 

[sacrificium]

if she don't want divorce why you want divorce?

I guess if not divorced, can’t marry the new one?

 

[Itsnotfunny]

I believe TS got small 3. That’s why cannot wait 3 years separation. If want freedom, can just do what u want outside. Who can stop u ? Unless small 3 wants u to sign on dotted line and u cannot do so legally.

 

[Joseph12]

you are one hell of a rubbish man. what marriage vows did you swear to her? was it done in front of the parents? let your yes be yes, and your no be no. marriage is forever. you are really fortunate i'm not your ex-wife's dad. no mercy will be shown

Are you male or female?